Montreal

16

16: Kai

That Thursday night was the last time Montreal scolded me for skipping my class just to be out with Gideon. Because it was also the last time I did so. Sinisiguro ko nang wala kaming klaseng masasagasaan kapag namamasyal kami.

The only reason that I didn't think Colden was just jealous was because he never mentioned Gideon, nor asked anything related to him. Dalawa lamang iyon: maaaring masyadong mataas ang tingin ni Col sa sarili kaya alam niyang hinding-hindi ako magtataksil; o ang tanging kaligtasan ko lamang ang kanyang inaalala.

My life was in danger.

Iyon ang nahinuha ko sa lahat ng ito. Kahit hindi ko alam kung bakit, kung mula kanino, kung paano, ay sigurado ko iyon.

Maybe that was the reason they were hiding me in Iloilo. They gave me a new name, a new identity... Reb and Shimon as my new bodyguards, Mage as my new coach in the Ninja Academy, UP Visayas as my new school... They even transferred me to three different high-end houses from time to time... I wouldn't be surprised now if my age was also a lie.

Somehow, I understood. They were my friends, Colden was my boyfriend; most of all, they have the riches for it.

At least those were the lies I told myself. The "truth" that I preferred over the other one I never got from Lou.

I'm sorry, Lou.

Wala akong ideya kung gaano kami kalapit ni Lou noong may memorya pa ako. But based on the hollow feeling that her absence brought in my core, I knew that she was important to the real Yuki. So important that even the Yuki now hurt.

I saw myself, the new Yuki, in the mirror. My hair was up in a sleek bun, my fierce eyebrows and doe eyes complemented each other in a way I liked, my pointed nose still my favorite part, my lips were red because of the lip tint I put on, and my cheeks a little rosier than usual because of the blush on.

The glittery tube dress hugged my body so tightly, accentuating my curves even more. The material was mostly violet and hot pink but the glitters were gold. The dress ended on my upper thigh, flattering my firm legs. My makeup was too simple compared to my flashy designer dress but the way I sported my five-inch-high stilettos told me something about the Yuki before and now.

We both embraced our natural look, but we carried ourselves invincibly.

But...

Maybe that was just the previous Yuki.

The Yuki now was just oblivious of taking care of herself, and the only thing I was good at was wearing heels.

I faintly smiled at myself, bitterness dripping like acid within.

For the past three months I had managed to adapt to this new world, but somehow the insecurity for the Yuki prior to the head trauma never faltered.

My worthless flashbacks ceased that they became rare to me, yet my dreams about the very same scenario became more frequent.

Standing here in my wardrobe area, in front of the full-length mirror with me smiling apologetically at myself in it... I would always dream of the exact scene during the nights, that a harmless dream already felt like a nightmare which haunted me even when I wasn't asleep.

Contrary to my mirrored self though, in the "nightmares" my reflection--the past Yuki--would look at me with unending disappointment and blame. And after I smiled at her, I would feel shameful until my grin faded and my fair complexion turned even paler.

"You done?" The familiar voice put a stop to my thoughts.

Nilingon ko si Colden at palihim na namilipit sa klase ng tingin na iginagawad niya sa akin. He eyed me from head to toe, and somehow I was thankful to the past Yuki for keeping our body in shape.