Help Me (Peterick AU) [COMPLETED]

13

Pete's POV

Again Patrick's so good to me, how can any person be so nice and care for me so much? He spends the whole night watching kids cartoons with me because I'm upset and still totally respects my limits. The only thing he's ever done is be good to me and if he even crosses the tiniest boundary he apologises, he's the perfect person.

Patrick's been so perfect that when he lies down on my bed I tuck myself into his arms and let him hold me as we fall asleep. I know we'll probably get in trouble for sneaking into each other's rooms and sleeping together but it's fine. I love it but maybe soon he won't need to come in and hold me because I'm scared of the dark. Maybe soon I won't be terrified someone will attack me in the dark and I'll be able to function like a normal human.

Ryan wakes us in the morning with a smirk and Patrick quickly lets go of me so he can run back to his room. Brendon will probably be waiting there with questions and dirty jokes which should scare me but I think it's cute. They have such a nice friendship and I wish I could talk to Brendon more. Patrick likes him a lot and Ryan's dating him so I should try harder to make friends.

Ryan lets me dress then gives me the dietary pills that I have to take since I eat so little. It's embarrassing that I have to take pills just so I don't get sick but I know it's just what I have to do.

Patrick's waiting for me when I come out so I can automatically go to him and cuddle him. He doesn't seem to be annoyed with me constantly hanging onto him. Maybe he's just nice and doesn't want to upset me or maybe he actually likes hugging me too.

We spend most of the day together but it's only after group therapy when we can be alone. Afterwards we get away and cuddle up on a beanbag by ourselves while Ryan and Brendon go find somewhere to blow each other. I don't really didn't want to know that's what their doing but Brendon tells us happily as he pulls Ryan off.

Once they're gonna Patrick asks if I'm ok again and checks up on me which makes me really happy but also really sad. I wish I could be normal and not worry Patrick but I just don't know how to do that.

Unlike usual me and Patrick are kind of awkward which makes me feel really bad. If I was someone else more interesting and funny and normal things would never be like this.

After a long awkward silence Patrick puts a hand on my knee and rubs it gently "I still barely know you sweetheart, let's just talk, wanna tell me something about you?"

I don't really know what to say but I stutter out "I used to play bass" before realising Patrick already knows. I've been here so long that I don't even have an identity anymore and I hate myself for it. I don't have any hobbies, I don't really have any favourite things, I don't really have anything. The only special thing about me is that I'm screwed up and that's not even anything special, everyone here has that too.

I'm on the verge of tears as I realise how stupid and useless I am. Patrick could date anyone he wanted so why would he ever choose me? I'm not even worthy of being his friend so there's no chance he'd ever want more.

While I try to hold back my breakdown Patrick asks more questions but I'm too distraught to hear him or reply. Me ignoring him must annoy Patrick because he huffs and starts to stand up "Forget it Pete, if you don't want to even try to get closer that's fine, I'm leaving"

I cry out and try to grab his wrist but Patrick pulls back and the hurt look in his eyes almost kills me. "I care about you so much Pete, I just want to get to know you and look after you but if you don't want that just tell me"