Help Me (Peterick AU) [COMPLETED]

20

Pete's POV

I watch Patrick during the defence lawyers little speech, not wanting to hear him insult me. When he turns to me to start asking questions I look up but quickly look away. He looks pretty similar to my father so even though I know they're probably nothing alike I can't help being scared.

He starts off asking about Jason which I go over again before asking why I'm only just admitting to what my father did. That shocks me a little even though I knew they'd ask so I stutter out a bad answer. I know it's not very good but the only reason I have is that I was scared and embarrassed so I have to say that.

After a few more awkward embarrassing questions he asks about the thing I was dreading. I knew it'd happen but it makes me absolutely furious when he asks "What's happening with that boy back there? Are we going to be back in trial in another year when you claim he assaulted you too? You seem to set up every man in your life if they do something you don't like"

I can't believe this guy. Just because two people hurt me before doesn't mean I'll end up in court from every relationship I'm in. It wasn't my choice and I'm starting to learn that it isn't my fault that I got taken advantage of. People said defence lawyers can be horrible because they make witnesses and victims seem like idiots but this sucks. I didn't think they'd be so mean because I thought it was obvious I'm telling the truth.

I was trying to be quiet and obedient and good for this whole trial but I can't stand people insulting Patrick. He's the sweetest guy in the world and I love him to pieces and I'm not going to let this asshole do this.

The lawyer seems pretty surprised when I finally sit up and look at him. I rant for a while about how amazing and perfect Patrick is and how he'd never ever hurt me. By the end everyone, even Patrick and Dr Williams, seem very shocked. I almost never get loud or angry but I just did that in front of a crowd which no one was expecting. I take their moment of shock to compose myself before the lawyer jumps back in. Luckily he get the idea not to ask about Patrick but his other questions are almost as bad.

After a lot of questions I'm finally allowed to stop and go to sit with Dr Williams in the audience. I'm not near Patrick but every time I look over my shoulder he smiles at me which is enough. I hope I didn't go overboard defending him and creep him out but he doesn't seem to mind, if anything he seems more affectionate.

A few more people talk and give evidence but it's not long before everything's wrapped up. It's a pretty easy case so my father gets the same sentence as Jason then we're finally free to go.

I run up to hug our lawyer tight before taking a breath and looking over. Jason's watching me and gives me a smirk again but this time I'm not as scared. My heart still races but I stick my tongue out at him and flash my middle finger at my father before going to see Patrick. He's waiting by the door and hugs me for a long long time before letting me go with a huge smile "You're fucking incredible angel, I'm so so proud of you". That makes me laugh and I grab his hand and whisper "I'm fucking incredible" as we walk out.

I'm not really allowed to swear and basically never do so it makes Patrick laugh and pull me closer. I know Dr Williams saw what I did but obviously she's willing to ignore it for now. It's been such a good day and telling me off for being rude to the people who hurt me would just be silly.

The ride back is so so great and I feel strong for the first time in ages. When the judge said the verdict I felt a million weights lift off my chest so I can finally be free. I can be with Patrick and get better and be happy and try to live my life properly.

When we get back to the hospital we're allowed into the garden to celebrate which makes me feel even better. While Ryan and Brendon make out in the gross me and Patrick climb a tree. When we get to a good branch we both perch on it, straddling the branch while facing each other.

We're holding hands and Patrick's joking around and this feels like exactly what I want my life to be. I want to kiss Patrick so badly but every time I've tried we've gotten interrupted or he turned me down. I'm scared to try that again but Patrick won't do it because he said he's not comfortable initiating anything like that.

It'd be so horrible if I ruined this happy day and made things awkward by asking if he wants to kiss me when he doesn't. It's romantic and sweet being here with him so asking to kiss might make it weird. I'd be humiliated if he had to turn me down again and it'd be even worse if he thought all I cared about was sexual things. He's asexual so I don't want to make things uncomfortable by not understanding what he means by that. I don't know if it means he doesn't like kissing and there's no way I can ask without seeming like a stupid kid.

I really want this though and he's my boyfriend so I should be comfortable with him. He's not Jason and if I do something bad or wrong he'll just tell me and not be mad. I can't be scared of him because that's not a relationship, I'm not going to be like this anymore.

Slowly I inch closer on the branch and put a hand on Patrick's cheek to make him look at me. He seems super happy so I decide to just take the risk. "Tricky I don't want to make things awkward but I kind of wanted to kiss you. I like being here and being romantic but I just thought maybe it would be nice for a kiss but maybe not"

I tried so hard to not make it awkward but I just made it even worse. I was awkward while trying to not make him feel awkward which is basically the story of my life.

Luckily Patrick just rolls his eyes and also scoots closer to me "You don't need to apologise, you've done nothing wrong. I want to kiss you though, I love you and I've been wanting it since we got together so if you're ready then so am I"

We're sitting close enough for our knees to be pressed together and I can almost feel his breath on my face. I lean in to press my forehead against Patrick's and breathe in the scent of him while I whisper "I want this, I promise this isn't like before when I was just scared and wanted you to protect me. I still like having you to protect me and take care of me but I think I can protect myself a little bit. Today showed me that and I feel like maybe I'm actually strong, I'm not a weak loser who lets people hurt him. I can stand up for myself so this is what I want, I want the guy I love to kiss me"

Patrick smiles and cups my face in both hands as he leans in for my lips. I close my eyes in excitement but there's a shout from below and the branch shakes as Brendon hops on behind Patrick.

"Ooh what's going on here? Sexy times in a tree?" With a huff Patrick pulls away from me and glares at Brendon "You're an asshole, I actually hate you". Brendon laughs and leans in to give Patrick a sloppy kiss on the cheek "Don't pretend our love doesn't exist baby, you're my favourite gay whore". Patrick shoves Brendon's shoulder making him fall onto the ground a couple of feet below and lie there pouting as Ryan laughs.

Patrick sighs and looks at me sadly "I'm sorry sweetheart, I love you". I'm disappointed but give him a little smile and reply "It's ok Patrick, maybe another time, love you too". He kisses me on the forehead then hops down to play wrestle with Brendon on the grass.

I stay in the tree for a while watching Patrick lie there with his best friend laughing and fake fighting below me. I wish we could have kissed because this could have been the perfect time. I feel so strong and brave so this was the best time to kiss Patrick and take this step with him.

The only other time we get privacy is at night but if he comes to my room I don't know how I'll handle it. Being alone with him with no one near to help and being so vulnerable in the dark is scary. He's my Patrick but it's terrifying no matter how much I trust him. He's a man who wants things from me and who could overpower me so I can't put myself in the position. Alone in the dark in my bed while we kiss is when most people would go further but legally, mentally and physically I can't. I really want a kiss but disappointing Patrick would kill me, I can't let him down.

Patrick looks up at me and reaches out a hand for me to take as he helps me down from my perch on the branch. We all walk back inside whine I try to find another moment where I'll have the balls to ask Patrick for a kiss again.