Help Me (Peterick AU) [COMPLETED]

30

Patrick's POV

I'm almost asleep after my day with Brendon when Pete bursts into my room sobbing and throws himself on top of me. Ryan stands at the door and shakes his head at Pete but closes the door halfway so we can have some privacy.

Pete's frantically clinging to me so I free my arms from the blankets and hold him as he sobs "I'm broken, I'm broken, I'm so fucking broken and it's disgusting".

He's in a terrible state so I hold him tight against my chest and gently guide him into bed with me. Once Pete's in my warm bed completely smothered in hugs he stops hyperventilating but still sobs. I try to keep him calm and quiet but he's still trying to explain even though it's just making him cry harder "Today was so good and I was trying so hard but everything ended so bad and it's all my fault. My moms boyfriend was there and I got so scared and had panic attacks ruined everything. Then they took me for a psyche evaluation and confirmed I'm just stupid and fucked up"

Pete murmurs that he's fucked up a few more times before I pull him back into a crushing hug. He's swearing and completely losing his cool so right now I don't really care what happened. All that matters is getting him back into a functional state then we can work through anything else later.

After a long time Pete seems to run out of tears and lies trembling in my arms. I'm exhausted from holding him and trying to calm him down so I stroke his hair lazily and try to be what he needs.

I don't want to push him for anything more than he's ready for so I wait for him to talk. Pete's not good at opening up but when he's like this it usually just rushes out of him without any pushing. If something little is bothering him I need to convince him to tell me but he can't keep something big like this in.

Like I thought after another long time Pete leans up to kiss my cheek "I'm sorry, I should let you sleep, I'm so sorry". He's starting to shut down so I pull him back to peck his forehead and chuckle softly "Don't be silly my love, I want you here with me and I'd never leave you alone like this, let me help you"

Pete lets out a tiny whimper and buries his face in my shoulder before mumbling "I'm so scared of men and it's so stupid, it's ruining everything". I'm about to try to reassure him it's ok to be scared but before I can he presses his face harder to my shoulder "I'm so freaking useless. The psychiatrist said I have a ton of issues and when she found out about you she said it was a bad idea. Apparently being with men is too traumatic for me and we can never have sex because my ptsd is too bad. I just want to be with you and be normal but I can't, I can't even make love with you because it'll give me flashbacks"

My heart aches for Pete so I keep stroking his hair and scramble for the right words. I don't know how to comfort him but I'm desperate to do whatever I can even if it isn't perfect. "You're still healing baby, your mother and her boyfriend know that and they respect that because they love you. I love you too so if you don't want this relationship it's ok, we'll still be friends and I'll love and support you no matter what. If you do want to be with me we don't need to have sex. I don't want anything sexual any time soon and if we stay together for a long time we can deal with it then. If you can never do it I respect that but if you ever get to the point where you want to try then we can talk about it. I'm here for you and I just want the best for you no matter what anyone else says"

There's completely silence before Pete launches himself forward to kiss me. It's messy and salt from Pete's tears but it's so wholly Pete that it's perfect.

When he pulls back Pete wraps his arms right around my neck and rests our foreheads together "You're perfect, absolutely god damn perfect, you're the perfect person and I'm not leaving, I'm not moving an inch"