THEFT - (A Chris Brown Fan Fiction Love Story)

Chapter 14

I go back upstairs to the bedroom and call him.

“Hi Faye. You OK?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

He stutters a little - probably because of the harshness of my voice. “Er, I… I j-just thought you would be getting ready for work at this time?”

“I quit. This morning, actually.”

“What do you mean? You’ve quit your job?!”

“I feel great about it. Couldn’t feel better,” I lie, instantly regretting saying it because I know it will lead to more questioning that I could do without.

“And they just let you quit? Why the fuck would you quit anyway?”

I ignore him. “There’s a reason why I rang you. I want you… I want you to stay away from me. I’m honestly trouble that you don’t need.”

“Faye. Faye, don’t you dare say that.”

“I’m saying all this because… because I love you. Because I have your best interests at heart. Stay away,” I say through clenched teeth, hanging up.

I thought I couldn’t feel anymore lonely. I thought I couldn’t feel anymore pain. How wrong was I? The deed I just did is already killing me. The fact that I basically said to him that I never want to see his face again. Will I ever look into those brown, breathtaking eyes again? I just told him that I don’t want to. Well done, Faye; another excellent move.

I storm out of the house and walk down the road. Mom used to take Jonah and I to this little park with a pond and a forest; we loved that place. The 16 year old me used to sleep there on countless nights after Mom died because I felt like I was closer to her that way - I’d worry Dad sick back then but I never cared, which seems selfish of me now.

Anyway, it should be about a half an hour walk from here.

The few cars on the road slow down as they approach and the people inside stare at me because they’re not used to people walking in this area. I suppose it is kind of treacherous out here and I should have got in my car instead of braving it out on a solo expedition. Oh well, fuck it. Walking takes up more time and that’s a good thing for me; I reckon that for the rest of my life I will solely be just killing time, being penitent and not giving a fuck about anything. You can tell that I can’t waaaaait for my joy filled future (*yawns*).

After a while, one of the cars slows down considerably more compared to the others before it. I try to block the sun out of my vision by squinting and I just about make out a familiar face behind the driving wheel. Chris.

He pulls over ahead of me and gets out.

“FAYE!” he shouts, waving his arms above his head.

Yes, Chris, I have seen you.

Even though I only told you to get out of my life forever a few a minutes ago.

“FAYE?!” he repeats.

I continue walking in his direction, knowing that he’ll only follow me if I turn around and go back home.

“Faye, what are you doing?” he asks.

I move closer to him and then stop. “I’m taking a walk. What are you doing, Chris?”

“I was just going over to your house to try and make you see sense. Let me drive you to wherever you’re going.”

I meant what I said to him before. I care about him way too much to allow him to be part of my life; being associated with me would bring him so much unnecessary pain and suffering.

“I’m fine, thanks.”

I try to trudge past him but he’s not having it. He moves his position so it is physically impossible for me to get past.

Chris looks into my eyes and my heart melts. “I know you don’t want me out of your life.”

He knows what he’s doing to me. The way he’s making me want to take back my words and never speak of them again. Forget them as we grow old together, as our collection of kids and then grandkids increases around us, as our hair turns gray and as our bones wear away until we are left with nothing. It’s what we both want but I can’t allow it to happen. Before we’d even get to those stages, I would fuck everything up.

“I’m sorry, Chris. I need to get past you, please.”

“Faye, stop being like this. You’re talking bullshit.”

“Excuse me?”

I know that he’s right but I want to hear his elaboration.

“You’re saying all this shit you don’t even mean. You’re pushing me away when you don’t want to. Do you really never want to see me again? Your words and your body language aren’t in sync with each other. I mean, we only fucked, what, three days ago?”

How dare he put it like that. We ‘fucked’? I thought it was more than that; it wasn’t an alcohol fuelled sex fest where no feelings were present. We both love each other, don’t we?

I feel tears forming in my eyes. “Let me through, Chris.”

“Not until you look me in the eyes and tell me you never, and I mean never, want to see me again.”

I stand there, not saying a word.

“When I said you’d never be alone again… I want that to be true. Allow it to happen, Faye. I won’t hurt you.”

“But I will hurt you!” I unintentionally shout at him. Taken aback by my own abruptness, I take a deep breath. “Stop being so persistent and move on from me. Find another woman who’s the things that I’m not - stunning, compatible -”

“Get in the car.”

“What? No.”

“I need to show you something. Actually… I’ll come by your house this evening and take you then. I need to show you why I feel so strongly for you.”

“You’re inviting yourself over to my house? You’re crazy, you know that?”

“Crazy for you, yeah,” he starts to smile but then stops. “I’ll let you through now so you can walk to wherever you’re going.”

“That’s so kind of you,” I sarcastically grunt.