THEFT - (A Chris Brown Fan Fiction Love Story)

Chapter 37

I suddenly feel not good enough. Yeah, I already know that Chris is too good for me. But it suddenly hits me like a... wrecking ball? No. This is serious. It hits me like a never failing to slow down boulder. I was at the bottom of the hill and boom! It kicks me to the dirt.

All my life I have been made to feel not good enough. My Dad has done it, James has done it, Michael has done it - and even Jonah has occasionally. And now Chris has done it. He's made me feel like a princess and then an outcast, hideous frog in two worthless seconds.

I can't even move. I can't scream for whoever she is to get out. I can't run out of here with whatever dignity I still have. The boulder's paralyzed me.

"Faye, it's not what you think. I can explain," Chris speaks the infamous words every lying, cheating rat says when they've been caught. The words aren't making sense to me. I can acknowledge them but they're not processing in my brain.

"Faye, there ain't nothing going on between us," she says.

How does she know my name? How does the 5 foot of plastic know my name?

Weakly, I get out of my chair and stand up into a feeble posture. "I'm going to leave here now and pretend that you never entered my life, Chris."

The sentence pains me to say. It chokes me up. I can feel the salty tears getting ready to shoot down my cheeks like a firing squad.

"Faye. Faye. FAYE. I haven't done anything wrong. I need you. I need us."

I can't look at him. I won't let people get away with making me feel like this anymore.

I walk out of the house. Get in the car. Drive away.

I'd let Chris get so close to me. I'd let down my guard and abolished boundaries for him. I let him have my heart. I feel so stupid now. So foolish and naive. I can't believe I'd allowed what we'd had in that first ever meeting to progress. All we did was look at each other. And I acted on that? I let that turn into a marriage destroyer? Fuck, please. It looks so idiotic from the end of the tunnel.

I get home.

Throw my purse beside my bed.

And cry.

I try to tell myself I don't love Chris. But I do love him. I can't pretend that that love doesn't exist. Or the fact that we just get each other. He understands me like no one else - period. Even now, I want his tattooed arms wrapped around my waist in a comforting embrace.

I'm not sure why this has happened. Everything's meant to happen for a reason, right? What good can come out of this? This situation will most likely put me back to square one again (i.e. hospital) and be the death of me. Because now I've realised that nobody genuinely likes me in this world. And so many times I have been in that dark pit of realisation where I try to contemplate that I am either unloved or misunderstood. I ask myself why people don't like me and what I ever did to deserve such mistreatment.

There's never an answer.

The fact that there is no answer to those questions might bring comfort to some people going through similar situations. But not me. I would never change to be liked but I do want to know what I'm doing wrong. I suppose that's the business side of me creeping in.

I think about the whole situation some more - and then I remember something. That nightmare that I had before I went to hospital. This is what that meant.

Chris has changed me.

Hurt me.

And now I don't know what to do.

- CHRIS' POV

"Get out of here," I mutter to Siena, the pain about to bleed through tears. My heart's still racing from Faye's words.

"Alright, Chris. I'll call round tomorrow when you in a better mood."

"LOOK WHAT YOU'VE FUCKING DONE!" I yell, completely losing it. "SHE'S MY EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING'S GONE NOW BECAUSE OF YOU!"

I am seething. Especially since I have lost Faye because of her insinuating something that didn't even fucking happen.

"Boo, you need some sex."

"ARE YOU NOT FUCKING LISTENING?! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!"

I don't want to push her out... not with my track record. I can imagine the tomorrow's headlines if I do that. But how else can I get this bitch out of my house? Call the cops?

"I can make this all better, Chrissy boo. I'll even do everything if that what you want."

If I reply to her, I know I'm going to flip and lose it even more. So I don't say anything. Until I realise she isn't going to move.

"I'm calling the cops. You've pushed me too far this time."

"You know... I think I'm going to go home," Siena says to me. The depths of subtle evilness in her tone are evident.

'I can't lose my temper,' I keep telling myself. 'Don't say anything.'

I nod, walk to the front door and open it.

"Thanks for having me, Chris," Siena whispers. She gives me a kiss on the cheek and I growl mentally.

As she walks out, I remain at the door with all these negative feelings thrusting around in my brain.

Then the most prominent thing kicks in.

I have lost Faye.

I close the door and sit down on the stairs, staring into space. Faye thinks that I've cheated on her. She thinks I don't love her.

She just needs some time. I'll let her recuperate and try and make her understand afterwards.

I know it's not going to be easy - but Faye's got to understand: we're meant to be together.