THEFT - (A Chris Brown Fan Fiction Love Story)

Chapter 39

- CHRIS’ POV

I stare at the latest text from Siena.

‘hey chrissy boo boo just checkin if i can com over ur place 2nite let me no and i do care about u dispite wat u may fink so also let me no if u ok x wuld relli luv to meet up wiv u and if u not wantin sex we culd just go out somewhere as friends chris ok anyway plz reply becuz like i said i need to no if ur ok xx’

It’s one of seven which have come throughout different intervals of today. 

They’re gifts from Satan.

I look up at the ceiling and then back down at the screen. Siena’s not a temptation but I just wish she would go away. The poor girl’s got feelings for me and she doesn’t know how to deal with them because of the kind of work that she specializes in. She can’t understand real feelings because men use her for their own benefit. Even I did once upon a time.

One thing I’ve learnt about prostitutes is that they are pretentious. They pretend to be something that they’re not comfortable with and construct mirages around what is really important. And when they stop doing their thing, and you treat them like an actual human being, they have something missing. If you look into their eyes, you will notice that they look too desolate; too lost. Vulnerability cries with the chorus of sadness and disrespect when they open their mouths to converse with you.

Pity gets the better of me everytime I comprehend her situation. Maybe one day I’ll help Siena get out of prostitution. But for now, I need to concentrate on getting Faye back.

- FAYE’S POV

“FAYE, WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOU?!” Dad yells down the phone. I adjust it so that my eardrums aren’t being exterminated as much.

Michael and Dad are acquaintances. And somehow Dad managed to find out that I’d lost my job. This is the father who only gives a fuck when I’m clouded by misfortune - and even then he doesn’t actually care about me. He wants to drown in negativity and loves to smother himself in it regardless of whether it concerns him or not. Dodging the balance is a talent of his.

“Dad, this has nothing to do with you. I’m an adult now and I don’t have to listen to your fucking bogus anymo-”

“Michael said you’ve been acting outrageously lately. I will not allow you to throw away your career, Faye. You need to get off that path of self destruction before it is too late. You’re an embarrassment. This is not who your mother and I raised you to be - and your mother would be so, so disappointed with you if she was here to see you like this.”

“I’m the same old me. I haven’t changed; circumstances have. And don’t you dare even mention Mom. Let her rest in peace instead of constantly digging up her grave.”

His voice croaks as he goes to shout at me. He coughs and tries again. “YOU DISGUST ME, FAYE! YOU MAKE ME SICK!”

“The feeling’s mutual.”

“YOUR MOTHER’S LOOKING DOWN ON YOU RIGHT NOW WISHING YOU WOULD SORT YOUR LIFE OUT! FUCK, YOU FRUSTRATE ME SO MUCH!”

I snigger at his so called ‘posh’ accent speaking a cuss word. He pretends to be posh now but his childhood was rough according to the stories he used to tell me. His parents were bums and their ignorance helped instill into Dad his now nonexistent work ethic. That’s why he got into business. He knew the industry was caked in opportunities and pay cheques. 

“I am sorting my life out. I got rid of James, didn’t I?”

No.

No.

Dad. Doesn’t. Know. Yet.

Well, he does now.

“What? Did I just hear you correctly?”

“Gotta go. Bye,” I mutter frantically, hanging up immediately. 

As if Dad didn’t have anything else to look down on me for, I let the James shit slip. I just get so mad whenever he brings Mom into conversations. I don’t know if he does it on purpose or not but it pisses me off to the max. He never thinks about how Mom’s passing affects Jonah and I, only thinking about his poor, poor diddums self.

Fuck him. He never thinks about me - so I don’t know why I’m even bothering to think about him. 

Which brings me to another person with a similar outlook.

Chris.

*mentally sighs continuously until it hurts*

The only resolution I’ve come to at the moment is to ignore him. And I mean ignore him. I am not answering any phone calls, texts, emails, letters, messages in bottles, messages sent by doves, pelicans or anything of the sort. He has got to realise how much he has hurt me and, with my incapability of explaining exactly how I feel, I believe that that is all I can do. Pretend that I don’t care when in fact it adds further to the pain of the situation and my gaping, bleeding holes. I may not cry like a baby about it every single second of the day - but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t emotionally kill me. It’s like another fucking grenade being thrown at my throbbing, meek heart and I’m expected to carry on with my life like nothing has happened. I don’t know if Chris knows how much this betrayal of trust has affected me and that it will continue to affect me.

At least he hasn’t text me or anything yet. I think I would give in and go back to him because I’m not emotionally strong enough to say no to him right now. I love him so much. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love him - and I know I never will. But maybe our relationship just doesn’t work. Just because two people are in love with each other, it doesn’t mean that they’re going to work. Compatibility is such an important thing - and this isn’t exactly the first time that we’ve split up. This on and off business is what happened with all of Chris’ previous relationships and now it’s happening to us. Maybe it’s not me. Maybe it’s Chris. He could be one of those guys who is afraid of commitment to just one person. It would explain the cheating somewhat. She was so plastic though… like ew. She’d melt even before the sex started. Not that they had sex. Chris did not have sex with someone else - or at least in my mind he didn’t. I will be physically sick if I think about that. Or just the fact that he was with another girl…

I would love to hear his explanation as to why he did what he did. Did he have my best interests at heart? Did he try and tell me before but I wouldn’t listen? Was something he ate/drank spiked? Did nothing happen?

I’m not going to think about Chris anymore. Instead, I’m going to live my life like he never entered it. I’ll work my ass off to get my job back and put the rest of the energy that I have on the divorce. 

That way, I’ll have no time for Chris.

And there’ll be no ‘buts’. No ‘what ifs?’.

Just ‘everything happens for a reason’.