A Love that's Hard to Find: Joshifer Fanfiction

Chapter 8

Josh's POV

I called Andre and he came to pick me up.  I called him three hours later so I can have time to think. I made up a lie that my car broke down. I get into his car when he finally arives.

"So where's your car?"Andre asks. "Actually my car didn't broke down. I don't have my car right now. I'm sorry I lied." I admit. "You know Josh if you need a ride just ask you know I will drive you anywhere you want." Andre says annoyed. "I know that I just needed an excuse for you to come fast." I say.

"Why?" I look out the window. I don't know how to say it. When I think about it happiness comes but when the guilt comes it takes total control. "Are you going to tell me or what?" Andre says.

I try not to look at him in the eye so it would be easier to tell him. "I kissed Jen." I say.

"You what!" Andre looks at and yells. "Andre!" I scream. The light was in red and he didn't see the car in front of him. He stomps his feet on the break. Just a few more inches and we would of hit the car in front of us. A loud beep comes from both the car in front of us and the one behind us.

"What the hell were you thinking Josh!" Andre yells at me. "I don't...know! It-it just happened! I know I am an idiot!" I stutter as I try to explain myself.

"Just shut up and wait for me to park the car." He says closes his eyes and nodding in disappointment. He parks the car and turns it off. "So what happened?" He says, his voice lowered this time.

"I don't know? I was just going to tell her how I felt about her and when I did I just couldn't fight the urge to kiss her. And-and I don't think that was wrong." I say defending myself from what's to come. 

"Ok I understand if you wanted to tell her you loved her but not kiss her. Josh what's the matter with you." I say.

"You know what is the matter with me. The women I love is with someone else! That she is in someone else's arms and is kissing someone else's lips! I can't last another day knowing I can do nothing about it!"

"What are you talking about? You kissed her a whole bunch of time and your going to kiss her more that's one of the best parts of being an actor in your case." Andre says. But its not true. I have no good parts knowing that, that kiss is just a job, not a real one. "No, no its not. And that's when were in character, it's not real." There's a long silence. Andre thinks about what I'm saying. I can tell.

"You would have done the same if you were in my shoes." I say, breaking the silence. Andre sighs and turns back to the wheel. "Ya your right. But its different with me. Lydia is not in a relationship and if we do kiss there's nobody stocking us. Tomorrow a picture of you and Jen is going to show up everywhere. I'm sure of it. You know how big this is going to be." Andre says.

"I know. This is going to do so many problems." I say.

"Yes it is. That kiss is going to effect Jen. Imagine what would happen when Nicholas sees a photo of both of you kissing. What do you think he would do?" He says. "I know. I know. I will call him tonight and reason with him. I will tell him this was all my fault and not Jen's." I say. I will. I'm going to call Nicholas and tell him the truth. If it means having Jen happy.

"Why would you do that?" Andre asks. "Because I love Jen and seeing her cry and suffer is the last thing I want to see. Even if I have to call Nicholas and explain everything. Even if I have to see them both together. I would do anything to keep a smile on Jen's face and seeing her happy. Even if it means I won't have her in my life. But knowing that she would be happy is happiness enough for me." I tell him. I would do anything for Jen. She is my everything in my life. She's more precious than any gold in the world. She is more beautiful than any diamond in the world. I would rather have Jen only and have nothing else than have the entire world but not Jen.

"You really do love her don't you?" Andre says with a smile. "Yes, more than anything in the world." I say. He just smiles. He starts the car. I ask him if he can go to get my car and he agrees. And then drops me off at my apartment.

***

I take out my phone. Just one touch on the screen and I'll be calling Nicholas. I take a deep breath and close my eyes. I can do this. Just stay calm. I make the call.

It takes a couple of rings for him to answer. Then his voice comes. "Hello." He says.

"Nicholas this is Josh." I say trying to act as calm as I can. "Oh Josh. Is there an emergency? Is Jen ok?" He asks. The sound of her name coming out of his mouth shoots a hard pain directly in my chest. The only reason why I have his number is if there is an emergency with Jen. He gave it to me so I can call him if there's anything wrong with her.

"No there's no emergency but this is about Jen." I say. "Oh, what's wrong?"

I don't know how to explain everything. I don't think it should come from me. He should find out from someone else's mouth. If it comes from me it would be even worse. "Uh tomorrow you are going to see a picture. If not you will eventually and when you do I want you to be calm. For Jen''s sake. Please." I say.

"Why? What's going on?" He says. "You will find out and I don't think it would be good if it comes from me. Please just don't do anything stupid. Jen is an amazing women and I don't think you want her to slip from your fingers." I explain. "Okay?" He says confused. "Please just listen to me ok. I'm so sorry Nicholas this is all my fault. I just want you to know that. It wasn't Jen's."

"Wait? What? Why is this-" I hang up before he can continue. I don't think I would be able to say anything more.

I walk to my bedroom and make myself fall on my bed with my arms outstretched. I close my eyes and try to let the world go for a second and find a place of peace. But no matter how hard I try that peace is Jen.

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I hope you guys liked it. Sorry if my writing isn't that good. I try to make it good for you guys. Please comment and vote if you liked it.

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