i'm a cheerleader.

six

-Rebecca's p.o.v.-

We watched tv for a while as CJ played with my hair. She commented on its length and how she wanted her hair to be that long. I enjoyed her playing with it, Brandon never liked physical contact when it came to intimacy between us. Hugs and kisses were basically non existent. I always assumed it was because he wanted to take things slow but after a year of us dating I got used to the idea that he was just not into things like that and it was never really gonna happen. As CJ braided my hair for what seemed like the millionth time, she brushed her fingers against my neck making me get goosebumps. I was always very sensitive when it came to people touching me. It wasn't that I didn't like it, just the smallest amount of skin on skin contact made me feel as if I was being touched for the first time in the most innocent way a person can be touched. It was hard to explain, even to myself. As yet another episode ended, CJ asked if I wanted to do something else and I shrugged my shoulders.

"What did you have in mind?" I asked and she got up off the bed. She walked over to her closet and opened it up. All I saw was clothes and shoes, but she pulled out a wood box about the same size as a box for a pair of ankle boots. She put it on the bed and looked at me with a smile. I looked puzzled.

"I have had this since the week we started talking." She told me as she opened it. "Every time you say you miss Brandon and something you guys used to do together, I get tickets or that thing for you." She tried to explain. "It's hard to explain lemme show you." She said as she turned the box to face me. I saw movie ticket vouchers, a pack of gum, a Starbucks gift card, a lock and key, a candle, and tickets to see a baseball game. Those are what caught my eye. I picked them up and saw the date. They were to see a game next weekend. I looked up at her and she had the smallest smile.

"You got these for me?" I asked and looked at the box then back at her. She nodded her head without saying a word. "Why? I love it don't get me wrong." I said. "But I don't understand." I finished and CJ let out a sigh.

"Your smile. Makes something in me spark. I can't explain it. And seeing you say makes me sad. I feel your anger. I feel your pain and your happiness. And so every time I felt your pain, I did what I could to turn that pain into happiness. So I got you these things to make you happy to put it simply, Rebecca." CJ said and I smiled. She cared that much about what I wanted that she spent money on things like movie tickets and baseball games. I looked back at CJ and she had a big smile on her face.

"Will you accompany me to the game I got us tickets for next weekend?" She asked and I was ready to agree when it came to me. Next weekend Brandon was coming to visit. He had planned this for about a month. How did I tell CJ? With my silence the smile on her face disappeared.

"CJ I'm sorry. I have plans." I told her and she shook her head.

"Don't worry." She said so quietly I could barely here her. "Don't worry about it." She said looking at her lap. "It's no biggie. It's just I assumed since my partner doesn't like baseball and you do it would be fun but maybe we can do something another time." She said so calmly I didn't understand. I felt so bad for blowing her off. She put so much work into this for me and I'm not even gonna go.

"Yeah." I said weakly. And after I uttered that word silence fell over the room. It was so quiet for a moment I could hear myself blink. CJ got up without saying a word and put the box back in her closet and walked into her bathroom and quietly closed the door. And for a moment I was left alone with nothing but my own thoughts.