i'm a cheerleader.

twenty four

-Rebecca's p.o.v.-

We walked inside and I mingled with some of CJ's family for a bit. I felt more confident speaking to her family and after a few hours it felt as if I'd known them all my whole life. They were so sweet, all of them. So openminded, unlike my parents. They told me about how strong willed CJ was and how I should be careful with her, and them telling me that made me smile. Her strength was one of the things I admired about her. After a while, CJ told me she wanted to talk to me in her room. I agreed, and after walking up there, she closed the door behind me and took my hand to her bed. She sat and I sat right next to her.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing, I kinda just wanted to be alone with you." She said with a smile.

"Do you get nervous in crowds?" I said in a more serious tone.

"Not really around my family." She said. "It's just a lot of people and I needed a minute." She said and I nodded.

"Let's watch a movie." I proposed and CJ smiled widely.

"Yeah. I've had enough of them for today." She joked as I turned on her Xbox and went to Netflix. CJ laid with her back on my chest and after choosing a movie, I wrapped my arms around her. I felt nothing but love.
---

CJ and I spent the rest of the day up in her room going down occasionally down to eat. We both fell asleep in her room and I went home after waking up the next day. After that day, I gradually started getting invited to more family functions. New Years, birthday parties, other parties with her family. We quickly got very close me and CJ's family. I was on first name basis with most of her aunts and uncles. Her cousins really liked me, even Mandy. And her parents loved having me around. I could tell it made CJ happy that I was so comfortable around her family. It was like we were married, but at school it was all different.

We weren't able to be out, but people had their suspicions. People picked on me less since I was popular which I didn't like because it meant CJ got a lot of crap. At least once a month she'd come home in tears because of the awful things people would say, but I always tried to make her feel better by telling her their words wouldn't matter when we started our life together after high school. We talked about it quite a lot. We wanted to stay together after high school even if we didn't really know what that meant in terms of details and titles. All this talk of our lives as one, but we hadn't even exchanged 'I love you's. At a party for one of her cousins birthdays, I decided it was time. I had held onto a ring I had gotten CJ the first time we went to the mall together. At first I got it because it had her birthstone on it, but the meaning of it changed. Now it was a promise ring I was going to give to CJ, and today was the perfect day. It was in late July, which I had learned was CJ's favourite time of the year. Because and I quote 'it sounded like the classiest of all the months' I loved when she said that. I always listened so closely to everything CJ said. She could talk about bird seed for two hours and I'd be hanging on every word. After her cousins went to go play in the blown up bounce-house, I pulled CJ to the side.

"Can we talk in your room." I asked her. She nodded with her mouth full of food. We walked back in the house and up to her room. For some reason most family functions took place at CJ's house. I assumed it was because she was either centrally located to everyone's house, or because her house was big enough to accommodate to her family. After walking into her room, I closed the door behind her and led her to her bed.

"Sit down." I whispered with a big smile. She giggled and sat down.

"What's going on?" She asked with a smile. I squatted between her legs and I looked into her eyes. Nothing but love.

"I have wanted to tell you this for a little while, and I think it's time." I said and CJ smiled. I let out a sigh and put my hand on the small box in my pocket before continuing. "Sorry I'm a little nervous." I said and CJ put her hand on my arm. I looked up at her and smiled.

"Go ahead, love." She said with the warmest smile. I smiled again and continued.

"You're such an important person to me, CJ. I love your smile, having you around me makes me feel like I can do anything. When I'm with you the sun feels brighter, the flowers smell sweeter, everything seems happier." I said and CJ looked like she was about to cry. She still smiled. "I love you." I said and paused. "And I may not be ready to move out with you and start a life together, but I want to give you this." I said as I pulled a box out of my pocket. "To show you that I promise my loyalty, my heart, every part of me to you. It will always be yours even if we aren't wed. And until then, I promise you will be treated like the queen that you are." I said as I opened the box and pulled the ring out. "Do you accept my promise?" I asked and CJ put her hands over he mouth and began to cry. She nodded her head and hugged me.

"I love you so much, Rebecca." She said.

"I love you too, CJ." I said as she pulled away and I slipped the ring onto her finger. She admired it for a moment and pulled my face closer to her and kissed me. We both giggled into the kiss. Everything felt right. Nothing but love.

---
Throughout the rest of the summer, CJ and I were inseparable. We spent almost everyday together at the park, at the daily mug, or just at her house messing around. It was nice. Everything felt right. But as soon as we went back to school I remembered I couldn't hold her hand anymore, I couldn't sneak up behind her and kiss her neck the way she loved. I couldn't tell her I loved her. It was back to being "the model cheerleader" for me. It was awful. And as if my parents couldn't get worse, they were on my case so much harder. They cared about who I was with more and what I was doing, I didn't get it. But, the first couple months were bearable. It wasn't until one weekend in October that I had to start making some hard decisions.

---

"Who will be there?" My mother asked me as I got ready to go out to a party.

"I dunno. Lots of people. It's a cheerleader football function those are always crowded." I told her as I fixed my hair and grabbed my phone to text CJ.

"Who are you texting?" My mum asked. I rolled my eyes.

"Why do you care?" I asked.

"I told you I don't want you speaking to that... girl.. anymore. She's a bad influence. Have you heard the things people are saying?? That's not good for your reputation!" My mother yelled. I rolled my eyes again.

"Sorry wasn't aware that you gave a shit about high school politics, mum." I said.

"Don't curse at me, Rebecca!" My mother shouted. I grabbed my wallet and opened the door.

"Bye." I said as I slammed the door and walked to my car. My mum ran up to my car and as I closed my door she knocked on my window.

"Don't go see that homo or so help me, Rebecca!" She said and I drove off. I hated when she got like this. As CJ and I had gotten closer my mum became more and more involved in our relationship which I hated. She was too nosy for her own good. I drove to some party at some house that belonged to some girl I probably hated. I had gotten better at being fake engaged at these events, didn't mean I liked going though. All I could think about was being at home with CJ cuddling or watching tv. I loved just being alone with her, taking in every part of her. It was calming. She calmed me. Every time I was stressed or upset by something, I went to her. Or thought of her smile and suddenly everything was okay. She was my best friend. She was my lover.