i'm a cheerleader.

fifteen

-Rebecca's p.o.v.-

I sat in the car for a moment and realised there was no way for CJ to get into my house. I got out and saw her sitting on my welcome mat. I approached her and saw she was crying. I sat down next to her and she scooted away.

"What did I do wrong?" I asked.

"I don't know what I feel for you. I want to be your friend. But.. I don't know. Whenever you hold my hand I feel a spark but I just wanna be friends. It's a lot less complicated." She said quietly.

"Let's be friends then." I said and wiped a tear from her eye. CJ winced as I touched her skin.

"How? How are we friends after that?" CJ asked.

"After what?" Rebecca asked and looked at CJ. "If that kiss is gonna complicate things let's pretend it didn't happen. Let's go on like everything was before. I care about you. Let's make this work." I said and CJ nodded her head.

"Okay." She said and I helped her stand up after unlocking my door. We quietly walked inside my house and up to my room. I grabbed the air mattress as as it filled I got ready for bed as did CJ. After it was done filling up, I got into my bed and made the mattress ready for CJ. She sat down and then scooted the bed closer to mine. I was confused.

"Can I hold your hand?" She asked in the most innocent way possible. I nodded my head even though I knew she could probably barely see me with my dim lamp on. She laid down and I hung my arm over my bed as she held my hand in hers. She said that non-English phrase again but instead of touching my arm and squeezed my hand so lightly I could barely feel it. I smiled and exhaled before we exchanged good nights.

"Friends?" CJ asked quietly.

"Friends." I repeated back to her.

---

My alarm woke us up. CJ got up and went to fix her hair and asked if she could borrow a shirt to wear. I agreed obviously and she picked a oversized hoodie. I never wore it anyway, so I told her she could have it. She was so excited I saw a little twinkle in her eye as she looked at it on herself and back at me. I loved seeing her smile. I quickly got ready myself and we headed out (on time today). We got to school and I found a good parking spot and we exchanged goodbyes before parting ways.

---

The whole day was kind of a blur or black and grey. I went to class. Had lunch with CJ and a few other people. Went to class again. And it felt like in a few seconds I was back in my car on my way home. I sat in my car waiting for CJ at the end of the day in total silence. No radio on. The car wasn't even on. Just me and my own thoughts. I hadn't had a chance to write since last night, boy was my journal gonna get an earful. I laughed to myself as I turned the car on and CJ entered shortly after. I took her home and with eyes full of dread, she got out of my car and went inside her own home. I drove myself home and as soon as I walked inside, I was greeted by my parents at the bottom of the stairs. I froze. What did they want? They usually didn't bother me unless I had something cheer-related to do.

"Hey honey. Your father went in your room to put some laundry down and saw the air mattress was inflated. Did you have a friend over last night?" My mother asked in the condescending tone she always had. I hated it when I was actually in trouble. Made me feel like I had commit some vicious crime.

"Yeah my friend got into it with her mom and she stayed here for the night. One time thing." I said as I tried to go up the stairs. They stopped me again.

"It wasn't that CJ girl you've been hanging out with was it?" She asked. I was suddenly curious why she cared.

"It actually was why does it matter?" I asked and my mother scoffed. What was she on about?

"I don't much like that girl. She might rub off her bad habits and traits onto you, you're a good girl. We know you're not like her but the lines can become blurred when you're dealing with someo-," my mother started and I stopped her before she could finish.

"What are you getting at exactly?" I asked annoyed.

"She is into the lesbians isn't she? Ugh. Just looking at her you can tell she's in need of a good man to straighten her out." My mother said and I was appalled.

"She's a nice person. Her sexuality has nothing to do with that and is frankly none of your business." I said and my mother furrowed her eyebrows.

"Just promise me you won't pick up her bad habits, dear." My mother asked and I rolled my eyes and pushed past her and my father with success.

"Whatever mum. Please let me live. She's nice and I'll continue to hang out with her if I please." I said and that was the end of it. I closed and locked my door and pulled out my journal. I had A LOT to write about.