Taming Lucas

Chapter 27

Lucas and I turn our head at the same time, looking at my father who's wearing the most disheartened look ever. I almost hate my father for barging in just now. Lucas was about to say something, but he cut him off.

Lucas looks uncomfortable with my father here so he lets go of my hand. My hands feeling suddenly cold without his touch. He stands up and greets my father.

"Hello Mr Grayson- I mean Mr. Jenkins." He says to my father.

"Oh hello. Its you again. Can I talk to my daughter alone?" My father asks Lucas.

Lucas looks at me as if asking for my permission. I nod lightly, indicating that its okay. "Yes sure." Lucas answers.

My father looks as uncomfortable as Lucas right now. Its no surprise since they didn't have quite a good first encounter with each other. I can only imagine how awkward they must be feeling about each other right now.

"I'll be right outside." Lucas says to me, and leaves us.

My father looks as me, his eyes holding so much pain, that I feel bad for him that he had to see me this way. He sucks in a breath and exhales slowly. He finally approaches me, sitting near the bed.

"Amelia I don't know what to say." He begins to tear up. I guess he finally believed me.

"Dad you don't have to say anything. What's done is done." I tell him. My heart aches for him but it hurts more that he wasn't there for me when I most needed him. If he had listened to me for once, all this wouldn't have happened. My selfish mind almost wants to blame him for all of this.

"No. This is all my fault. If I had been a better father-" he chokes, pausing for a few seconds. "If only I had been a better father to you, none of this would have happened. I am so sorry Amelia. I don't deserve your forgiveness." He shakes his head, beginning to cry. "I've let your mother down. She would be so mad at me for letting all this happen to you. I couldn't even protect you. I let my one and only daughter go through through this. I don't even deserve your forgiveness. And I let you down. I don't deserve to be called your father." He sobs.

My heart breaks seeing my father this way. My whole life I have only seen him cry once, when my mother died. And now he's crying for me. I always saw my father as this tough persona who is always strong both mentally and physically. So seeing him cry in front of me is making me feel hurt for him.

"Dad don't cry." I try to console him, putting my hands over his. "I know you feel bad but its okay. Its the past now. Let's try to forget it." I say, even though deep down I know that I will never forget this chapter of my life. It will always be in the back of my mind, to remind me how far I've come, and what I've survived.

"No its not okay Amelia. I hate myself for letting this happen to you." He sighs, shaking his head. "I never knew Claire was capable of doing such things."

"Yeah. You never were home so of course you wouldn't have known." I say, feeling a pang of hurt as I think back to all those times my father left me home. "Why didn't you stay home at least a week, dad? Why? You always had some business to do or some meeting to attend to. I don't understand. Did you hate me? Or were you just sick of me?" I finally ask my father, the question that's been lingering on my mind for the longest time. I could never understand why he left home so much no matter how many conclusion I come up to on my own.

"What? Amelia no! How can you say that? Why would I hate you? You're my daughter." He says, his eyes filled with remorse.

"Then why did you always leave me?" I ask him again. He never know how much I needed him after mom died. I fought all the sadness alone, by myself. It was hard for a ten year old girl to grief over her mother alone.