There Must Be Something More

8 | Bothered

"Just a little bruise on the side of your head," Nurse Emily said. She patted at the bandage around my head. She ran her fingers through my hair.

Nurse Emily Holt is an old woman in her seventies. I hear she's worked in the school for more than fifty years. She practically knows the exact blueprint of the building. She has butchy curly red hair and thick-rimmed glasses.

And I'm her favorite.

"You know, I hate it when this stuff happens to you, Charlie," she said. "But I also love that it's an excuse for you to visit me."

I frowned. "If you wanted me to visit, you could just ask me, Nurse Emily."

"Why of course, dear," she winked.

"Thanks for the bandage too," I added.

She grinned. "You're welcome, Charlie, but it wasn't me."

I stared at her, waited for her to elaborate.

"It's my new assistant," she said. She chuckled.

"Assistant?"

"Yes. It's that really nice girl who hands out those cute sticky notes with the Bible verses."

I knew it.

Nurse Emily stared at me quizzically. "What's with that look on your face?"

I exhaled. "I... kinda figured it'd be her."

The old woman suddeny looked interested. "Oh, and why is that?"

"She's... different," I admitted. "She's not like any other person in this school."

Nurse Emily smiled.

"And... no one has ever volunteered to be an assistant here. You weren't required to have one. Only a really... unique person would do that."

"Hmm-hmm," Nurse Emily said. She handed me a cup of hot chocolate. "It'll make you feel better. The pressure knocked you out. You have a pretty weak stamina, Charlie."

"I get that a lot," I said dryly.

"Why'd you sign up for baseball, then?"

I set down the cup. I looked at her. "It's my passion. I've always seen my dad play it, although for him it's just a hobby. But not for me. I've always dreamed of being in the major league, you know."

The old woman smiled. "If you love baseball that much, how could you have been distracted during the practice? Coach Anderson said you looked totally spaced out."

I caught myself. She was right. For the first time in my life, no one has ever distracted me from the thing I've always loved--baseball. And here I was, distracted because of a girl's disappointed look.

I tried to measure why at all. I've received disappoined looks from girls all the time--especially when I tell them I have a girlfriend. And I've never felt... bothered by it. Never.

So why now?

"You can go home now, Charlie," Nurse Emily said. She kissed me on the cheek.

I made a face. "Mrs. Holt."

"You sound just like your father!" She chuckled. "I used to treat him like a kid back in his days here too!"

I looked around. I knew something bothered me as soon as she said assistant.

"Where's Meredith, Nurse Emily?"

"She hurried out of here. Said she has to hurry to church. What a nice little girl."

~~~

"Your bandage looks like a headband," Calum cracked, snickering.

"I'm fine, thanks for asking," I mumbled. "And you should be guilty. You were the one who threw the baseball."

"Hey, it wasn't my fault. You were supposed to focus! Guilty, my foot. I didn't do anything wrong. You're only supposed to feel guilty when you do something wrong."

I stopped. I stared at my best friend. I boggled.

Was I bothered about Meredith because I felt guilty?