There Must Be Something More

38 | If That's What Jesus Tells Me

Before I knew it, I felt sets of arms around my shoulders, and I knew Meredith and Grandpa Chuck were hugging me. I didn't mind at all. I wanted them to. It seemed as if they knew exactly what I needed at that moment. And they didn't disappoint.

"You can tell us about it, son," Grandpa Chuck said. He rubbed my back just like my dad would in the old days.

Wiping my eyes, my vision was a little blurry. I didn't want to look at them, so I looked at the floor. I told them about Krista and about how I couldn't have the strength to break up with her even though I knew it was wrong.

"What's stopping you, Charlie?" Meredith asked.

I raised my head. That was one question I hadn't asked myself. I must have asked every mysterious thing about the situation, but not that. The question seemed to be meant for her.

"What's... stopping me?" I echoed.

Grandpa Chuck nodded. "Do you really like that girl?"

"Yeah, I mean..." I shrugged. "I like having her around. I like feeling cared for. I like..."

"But you can have all those things from Jesus," Meredith said.

"I know, it's just..." I sighed. I admitted, "I don't know."

"I meant by 'really like'," Grandpa Chuck said. He looked me in the eye so sternly, I thought I was being taken in for questioning. Well, I kinda was. "I meant," he continued, "do you like her enough that you can imagine yourself marrying her and having a family with her?"

I boggled. I shook my head. "Of course not! It's too early for that!" I snapped.

"Then you don't really like her," Meredith said. She sighed. "Charlie, if I'm going to be honest with you, the way you like having her around and feeling cared for is your fleshly desire. It's your sinful desire. The Lord did create romance for a man and a woman, but that is not decided until He says so. And when He says so, you should be married right away. After all, the Bible didn't actually say anything about dating. Dating should be already a preparation for your upcoming marriage. That's real romance appointed by the Lord.

"You can't tolerate your fleshly desire. It is said in Galatians chapter five verse sixteen: So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh."

I sighed. I drummed my fingers nervously onto the wooden table in front of me. I leaned back and closed my eyes. "I know. I'm a horrible person, aren't I?"

Meredith giggled. "We're all horrible people. That's why God offered us His grace so we would stop being horrible."

"God is just amazing," I admitted. How could I not be moved? 

"So, what are you going to do now, son?" Grandpa Chuck asked. His eyes flashed concern, and I knew he doubted if I knew what I was going to do. I couldn't blame him. Up until then, I would've let my flesh win over the Spirit of Jesus inside of me.

"If Jesus didn't say it, then it's your flesh. It's the devil whispering lies to you," Meredith said.

I nodded. "You're right, Meredith. I really did come to the right place."

She and Grandpa Chuck smiled.

----------

"Trying to look cool now, Charlie?" Amanda whistled as she trotted towards me. I sighed. I had hoped I wouldn't see them today.

I adjusted my sunglasses and smiled at her. "Good morning."

She smiled a little, but there was a wistfulness in her eyes. "Where have you been running off, Borlock? Calum and I miss you. You didn't come yesterday, which was our Pizza Night Tuesdays by the way. And now you seem a little squirmy."

"I am not," I said.

She looked at me, raised an eyebrow.

I sighed. It was true. I was still a little scared about how they'd react on me being a Christian. And then I remembered I had nothing to be ashamed of in the Lord. I shouldn't let my feelings get the best of me. Feelings that are not consented by the Lord are from my flesh. I shouldn't tolerate them.

"Amanda, like it or not, I'm different now." I said, sternly looking at her.

She nodded. "Of course. I believe you." She tapped on my sunglasses frame. "I can see that."

"No, not just this," I snapped. I removed the sunglasses and she gasped.

"Charlie! What happened to your eye?" she asked.

I put my hand over it. "Krista happened."

"You two in a fight or something?"

"I broke up with her. And she obviously didn't like it."

"You what?"

"I had to," I said. "I want to do the right thing."

Amanda stared at me like I had three ears. "And the right thing is to break up with the best girlfriend you ever had?"

"If that's what Jesus tells me to do, then yes."

She boggled at me. "Why are you talking like that? You're talking like some kind of religious wacko!"

"Well, that's just it," I snapped. "I'm not religious. God is not religion. He's a real person. And He wants to know us personally."

"You're talking like that weirdo Meredith."

I shook my head. "She's not a weirdo. If you could just get to know her, she's one of the best people you'll ever--"

Amanda scoffed and shook her head. "I can't with you, Charlie. Talk to me when you're sober or sane or whatever. Just talk to me when I recognize the kid I met in kindergarten."

She turned around before I could even say any more. Some of the kids started whispering to each other and staring at me. I rolled my eyes and grabbed my World History homework.

I felt a tap on my shoulder. I smiled in relief and turned around to see Meredith. She handed me a sticky note. Before I could read it, she said, "You still didn't make one for yourself, huh?" she gave me a friendly knowing look. I shook my head.

I looked down the sticky note she gave me.

  "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated Me first. ~John 15:18

"God spoke to me," Meredith said. "I had that personally written just for you."

I smiled. I felt at peace. No matter where I went, God knew my situation and has already been there. He knows my troubles and I just have to trust Him with my circumstances.

"If it's okay with you, could you tell me how that verse speaks to you?" Meredith said.

I smiled. I nodded.