There Must Be Something More

93 | It's A Super Moon Tonight

"Why do you like me, Grandpa Chuck?" I said, resting my elbows on the back porch railing and covering my face with my hands. I felt so ashamed. I felt like such a coward, and I knew I was.

"Because God loves you, boy. How can I not love you too?" The old man patted my shoulder.

"Why can't I just be like Meredith? If I had a choice, I'd choose to be her brother or something. Maybe she could be by my side every time and give me advice whenever I need one," I said.

"But that's what Steven is for. You have a spiritual leader so you can share your problems with him."

I shrugged. "I wish Steven were by my side all the time too."

Grandpa Chuck didn't say anything after that. He turned away from me and looked up at the starless sky. The clouds have parted to make way for the big full moon. It floated up the darkness and shined, a halo surrounding it.

"It's a super moon tonight," I noticed.

Grandpa Chuck smiled. "Big, bright things always remind me of my little girl."

"You mean Meredith?"

He nodded. "She shines bright even in the darkest of places, doesn't she?"

"Yeah," I said, a wistful smile stitched down my face. "She shines so bright sometimes it hurts my eyes." When he didn't say anything I continued, "Every time I'm in a struggle, she just convicts me, you know? I mean, Holy Spirit uses her to convict me, you know what I mean? It's always happened that it's unbelievable."

"Wanna talk about it?" The old man asked.

"Remember when I felt so guilty about Krista?"

He nodded.

"It was because of her. And you. Your voices just kind of rang in my head a million times until I couldn't hear anything else. Did God tell you to be with her? I won't date till God says so."

He chuckled.

"It was driving me crazy. I knew the only way I could get rid of the awful feeling was to face myself--I knew I was curious about God, and now realizing it, I know deep down I knew He exists, I just didn't want to acknowledge it before because of my sins. Well, because of that conviction, I was convinced to pursue Jesus more until I finally had the guts to break up with Krista.

"Actually, it's not just her. It's all of you guys. If it wasn't for your love and kindness when I woke up wounded and bruised in that hospital after that accident Liam and I had been in, I wouldn't know what to do. I could've done all the self-pitying I could do, or even worse. I was so guilty about Liam's accident, and how he reminded me so much about Michael. But Steven came over to visit, and then he told me the right way of evangelism and I actually did it on Liam and he got saved genuinely.

"And if it wasn't for Steven and Meredith teaming up to ask me about my problems about Liam's death, I could have ended up in severe depression or something. And if it wasn't for Steven asking me about Liam's death, I never would've opened up about Michael. Because of that I opened myself up to freedom. And I really thank you for telling me the truth about where Michael is now. And Sophie--she gave me that letter from Liam saying he got saved."

I shook my head. God's love astounded me. "I know God's love is also shown through others. And it just made me think--if you guys could love me that much, how much more for God? I could never measure His extravagant love. Even if I tried to. I would retrace it back to the start, where God was betrayed by Adam and Eve in the garden, He didn't leave them. He kept pursuing them. He kept pursuing us--all of us indiviually, that is why all of us never have similar relationships with the Lord, He loves us so individually that it's like there's only one of us--to Bethelem until the cross, and even now He's still pursuing us.