There Must Be Something More

37 | Real And Genuine

After the cell group, Steven said he had a few more things to take care of. We said good-bye. Samuel and I walked back to our vehicles. After a few moments of walking through the grassy lawn of the restaurant, Samuel grabbed my arm.

"Steven and Meredith seem really close. No wonder she introduced us to him, huh?" Samuel said.

I nodded. "And I just can't believe how many lives she's changed by leading them to Jesus. I can't believe how bold she's been since being a kid. I can't imagine myself being the same."

Samuel looked up, thinking hard. He shrugged. "Me too. But, hey, God's surprised us in many ways."

"You're right," I said.

And then my phone rang. I fished it out my pocket and realized it was Krista calling. I panicked. Samuel still didn't know about it. In fact, I wasn't even sure he knew I had a girlfriend at all. But to be on the safe side, I ended the call and hurried to my pickup.

"Who was it?" Samuel asked.

I hurried to the driver's seat. "Just... my mom. She wants me to buy something from the convenience store."

He waved good-bye and in a few seconds his Land Rover rolled onto the asphalt. When he was out of sight, I banged my head on the wheel and folded my arms over it with my head still down. I thought of Meredith and Samuel being there for me like no one else was. I imagined their frustrated reactions if they knew I was still dating Krista without God's consent. I imagined them seeing me as a real traitor and liar.

I couldn't handle it.

But most of all, I imagined God loving me more than I could ever know and seeing me disobeying Him right in plain sight. I knew everything was in plain sight for God. He sees everything we do and we don't. 

Yet He loves us with an everlasting love.

"Why do You love me, Lord?" I breathed a sigh. "Who am I for You to listen and take care of? Who am I for You to save?"

And then I saw a slit of bright color sticking out of my compartment. I remembered. I've kept all of Meredith's sticky notes for the past few weeks and they must have taken up all the space. I reached and opened it. One neon-green note burst out and landed lightly on my lap. I picked it up.

And a voice from heaven said, "This is My Son, whom I love; with Him I am well pleased." ~Matthew 3:17

Tears came onto my eyes. God, I don't deserve You. 

And then I thought of an idea. I started my engine and turned my car around onto West Brenden Square.

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"Charlie?" Meredith said as soon as she saw my car slow down beside their lawn. She was watering the flower pots in front of their porch. She wore a green floral dress that made me think of shows from the 80's.

I smiled as I pulled over. And then I approached her. I handed her the sticky note God spoke to me. She raised her eyebrows and looked at me in a questioning way.

"Please tell me what it means," I said.

She cracked a confused simper. "Couldn't you just have asked Steven? I heard you guys were doing a cell group today."

"We did," I said, nervous, "but... I'm just used to talking to you. Might take some time for me to get comfortable with Steven."

"You want to get comfortable with someone?" she said. "You talk to them. You approach them. You don't have to wait for something to happen. Be the something to happen."

"I will, but not right now, please," I said, half cringing and half smiling. 

Meredith sighed and looked at the sticky note again. "I gave this one out a four days ago, didn't I?"

I nodded. 

"Hmm," she wrinkled her forehead, studying the neon-green note. She tapped a finger on it and grinned at me. "Want to come inside? Grandpa made mac and cheese."

I smiled in relief. "I love your grandpa."

"Me, too," she said.

I started to walk to the porch, but Meredith shook her head and grabbed my arm. "Not yet. You're here now. Please help me water the plants before the sun goes down. I hate watering them at night."

----------

"I was wondering when you'd be back here, Charlie," Grandpa Chuck chuckled as he stuffed a spoonful of mac and cheese into his mouth. His bushy mustache was slightly stained in mozzarella cheese.

"He came back here because he's restless," Meredith said. She looked at me. "Aren't you?"

I froze. I stared at her. How did she know?

"The look on your face says it all," she said. 

I squirmed a little. This wasn't the usual Meredith I hung out with. Usually she was always cheery and encouraging. But at that moment I felt judged.

But then her smile returned, and I saw the same girl I met at the first day of tenth grade. "Well, you came to the right place," she said. "We're family now. Although I'd prefer you coming to your leader, Steven Turner, about this, I'll cooperate."

I smiled skittishly. "Thank you."

"So, what'd you come here for, Charlie?" Grandpa Chuck asked.

"I just..." I circled my fork around my plate, making a scraping sound. And then I sheepishly looked at the old man who seemed to already know what my problem was before I could even give the look.

"I just want an explanation for the verse Matthew chapter three verse seventeen," I said.

The old man looked up, "Oh. And a voice from heaven said, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased."" He smiled. "That one?"

I nodded. Meredith looked at her grandpa, seeming as intrigued as I was. 

"In that verse, God was talking about Jesus at that time He was baptized. And as the Spirit of God descended down like a dove and alighted Him, God had acknowledged Him as His Son. And that is also applied to us today. We are His sons and daughters. And that's enough for Him to be pleased with us. The moment you accepted Him as your personal Lord and Savior, He is pleased with us. Because He loves us for who we are and not for what we do. That's how real and genuine the Lord's love is."

And just like that, God has not failed to capture me with His great love. I could have said something, could have tried to be all "cool" and hide the feels I had. But I didn't. 

I covered my face with both hands and wept.