There Must Be Something More

16 | Kids

"You're limping, Borlock!" Coach Anderson barked. His neck was red; it was either from the heat of the late afternoon sun or his anger towards my performance. Beneath us the ground was burning up, sending blurry transparent heat just below our ankles. I heard crickets by the bleachers. I felt the day growing hotter and hotter every whistle blow the coach does.

I stayed on my side of the baseball diamond. My fingers closed around the wooden bat I was gripping. I felt a trickle of sweat down my ear. Every time the pitcher threw the baseball from the pitcher's mound, my mind seemed to grow more distant than it was.

Of course, I wasn't limping. But he was saying it to push me into doing better in the field. I've just been striking out. My mind was too occupied.

I should've felt okay. I've lived like this my whole life. Going in and out of school, goofing off with Amanda and Calum, playing baseball right after classes. I was used to it. And I should've still been used to it.

But I knew I wasn't anymore. And as I stood, maintained my ground onto the grassy lawn that was used for millions and millions of baseball games for more than seventy years, as I did the single most thing I loved to do--baseball--I couldn't help but feel empty. Like something was off.

I almost couldn't grasp the thought. Me? Feeling empty while I was playing baseball? All my life, I thought it was the most fulfilling thing I've had. Whenever I feel bad, I would play baseball--even alone. I've always thought it was the only thing that understood me.

Until I met Meredith.

And all of a sudden, I was out of there. I found myself running across the field. I heard the coach's screams for my name. I saw my teammates puzzled stares. I continued to run. I tossed my bat behind me.

She should still be around, I thought. My sneakers were squeaking as I ran through the hall, to the lockers, where she should be around. When I got there she wasn't. I sighed.

You're an idiot, Charlie. An idiot. You made one really good friend and you let her go, I thought disdainfully. I'm worse than my friends. At least they avoid Meredith because they don't know how amazing a friend she could be. But I do. And I still chose to avoid her, anyway.

I'm an idiot. No, I'm worse than that. I'm a jerk.

"How long are you going to stand there and pretend you don't hear me?"

I drew my breath. I turned, my heart pounding.

Meredith grinned at me like she usually does. She had her hands behind her. Her long brown hair still braided in two. Her boot heels clicking as she rocked them back and forth.

"Meredith!" I cried. I've never felt so happy.

"You okay?" she asked. "You look like you just saw a ghost."

"No, uh... I just..." I thought of an excuse. I couldn't. "I was in the middle of practice. But... I, uh... you're still here. How?"

"I wouldn't want you to miss my daily Bible verse sticky note!" she said, giggling. She walked closer, the clicking of her boots echoed in the stucco walls; mirroring the elicit pounding of my dead-beat heart. I felt emotionally exhausted.

She handed me a yellow sticky note. It read:

Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. ~Ephesians 5:16

I smiled. I looked at her. "I might just follow this. You have anywhere to go today? I'll tag along."

"But what about... your baseball practice?" she asked.

"They'll be fine without me for a while," I said, "so, I'll drive you?"

She giggled, nodded. And then she put her hands behind her again, fell in beside me. "Are you good with kids?"

I thought about it. I shrugged. "Not sure. I once babysat for my seven-year-old cousin and he ended up okay. Why?"

"If you wanna tag along with me, you have to be good with kids," she said.

~~~

Before getting to our destination, Meredith had us stop by a toy store. She bought tons and tons of sock puppets. I couldn't even see her face when she paid for them all. They piled up like a mountain over her. I was amazed.

After the toy store we headed to the diner and bought dozens of donuts. I asked her why. She said she needed to let the kids eat. I asked her how many are they. She spread her hands to my face and said, "This many!" I laughed. She was a kid at times.

Right after that we stopped by the bookstore. She bought Christian tween books, as she said. She had another pile of them covering her face. I helped.

And then she said, "Okay! We're all set!"

I looked out the dusty window of my pickup. The redbrick building loomed over us. The huge silver metallic letters spelled the name of the facility: Amazing Grace Home for Children.

"Is this an orphanage?" I asked.

"Hmm-hmm!" she said excitedly. She tugged my arm. "Come on. The kids would love to see a new face. You have to be friendly, okay?"

"Hey, I'm friendly," I fended.

She smiled slyly. "Convince the kids that!"

"Ha-ha," I said. We both got out of the pickup. Meredith cradled the stacks of books in her arms. She grinned and gestured for me to grab the food. And then a man in a white collared shirt ran up to us. He said his name was Chris Nettle.

"Meredith! The kids missed you!" he said.

"Well, I'm here," Meredith said, "and so is my friend here."

"Hi, I'm Charlie," I said. I showed him the bags of food.

"Well, they'd be glad to see you too! They love visitors. Especially young ones," Chris said. He spread his arm as he led the way. I looked at Meredith for answer. She just giggled and followed the man. I sighed and caught up to her.

~~~

I've never been to an orphanage before. I've never really had any interest in kids back then.

But as I saw all these kids running up to us, tackling us with hugs and kisses, I felt all warm inside. Meredith was laughing, hugging them all back. The kids all screamed her name and squealed and giggled.

I could've just watched them for a long time. I was pretty comfortable just anticipating it all before my eyes. But just then, a little boy came up to me and poked me on the arm.

He asked, "Who are you?"

Meredith looked at us, smiled.

I tried for a smile too. "I'm Charlie. Who are you?"

"What are you doing with Meredith?" he asked.

Meredith clamped a hand over her mouth, stifling laughter. I blushed even more.

"I... we're just friends," I said.

"Good," the boy said, "because I'm going to marry Meredith. I'm going to make her happy."

I cracked a smile. "What's your name, kid?"

"I'm Ethan," he said.

I grabbed a burger from the bag and showed it to him. "Want a bite?"

Ethan grinned. "Do I!"