Fatal Attractions

XI

"Limo sex, Aubrey, I almost had limo sex."

"Oh my god, will you quiet down? Most of these women have had children less than six weeks ago and can't have sex. I don't think they want to hear about your almost sex problems." Aubrey hissed, having perfect form as she mastered the open lizard pose.

A post pregnant woman looked back and shot daggers at me with her eyes, her body strongly resembling a narwhal trying to wring itself out.

I glared at her back as I fell over, yoga not on my side.

Since I forced Aubrey to run with me, she was forcing me to try yoga. Try yoga, she never said I had to be good at it.

Which was good for me because I wasn't.

"Ok, class," The weed smoking hippie teacher said in a cool voice. "Now we will perform the happy baby pose." She rolled on her back and pulled her thighs to her chest, feet sticking up in the air with her shoulders pressed against the yoga mat, hands in the air as the feet were.

"What the hell is a 'happy baby'? I have never seen a happy baby that looked like some petrified frog." I whispered to Aubrey. Not even spin instructor, yoga master Aubrey could look good doing this pose.

"Stop complaining." She hissed, trying to ignore the fact that everyone was staring at us now.

I muttered profanities under my breath as I rolled onto my back, feeling like an idiot with my ass stuck out at the class. "I hate yoga."

"Ok, class," The instructor cooed as she resumed her upright position. "Good job today. I'll see you next week." She pressed her palms together in a praying gesture. "Namaste."

"Namaste my ass." I grumbled as I rolled up my yoga mat.

Aubrey thanked happy hippie pot lady and we finally left.

I rubbed my achy shoulder. "I think I enjoyed detonating a bomb more than that." I muttered as we got into Aubrey's car.

"Yoga is so good for you. You could become eighty times better at what you do if you went every week." She carped, turning the keys in the ignition.

"Not you too," I groaned. "Jason is already trying to 'train me' because my contact fell out a few nights ago. I'm perfectly fine the way I'm running things but thank you for trying." I grumbled, zipping up my jacket over my mouth and shrinking into the seat.

"I'm just saying that you get hurt a lot more than Jason and I do and it wouldn't be a bad idea to maybe take our advice." She nagged, pulling out of our spot.

"What happened to you roasting him for me?" I scoffed, sitting up and looking over at her. "I've been doing this longer than the both of you-"

"Two weeks longer, might I add."

"-And I think I can handle myself. Hurt is in the package and maybe I only get hurt more often because I'm doing more work than you two."

She laughed. "Don't give yourself too much credit, honey."

I rolled my eyes and scoffed. "Everybody is ganging up on me."

"It's all for love, sweetheart." She smiled at me. "Just trying to help."

She parked and I got out of the car, slamming the door behind me. "Well it's called self help and I do it just fine." I protested.

We got inside and went up to the apartment, quickly muting our talk about vigilantes. Aubrey was about to slip the key into the door when it was opened by Logan.

"There's a guy here," He whispered, an eyebrow raised. "He had a key so I'm assuming he's a boyfriend, family, or a stalker, and if he is a stalker I have to say, he is a very attractive stalker." The corner of his mouth twitched up.