Fatal Attractions

LX

Her face haunts me.

Every time I close my eyes, I see her face instead of Aubrey's. Her rotted face, pale and grey like old concrete, begging for help, for salvation, for a proper burial away from the pile of rotting corpses in a wall.

Every time I thought of it, I got sick.

I blamed vomiting on the pain medication I was on, even though I hadn't taken that medication in a week. I would see her face in everything I did, in every walk I looked at, even when I looked at myself in the mirror. I saw the face of what could've been me. I could have been in that wall, or worse.

I never should've gone. I should've just minded my own business because now I was scarred for the hundredth time in my life.

The whole police force and Jason thank me for going no matter how much I tell them that it was a mistake. They told me that those girls were thanking me too for finding them, even though I'm sure somebody would've seen it at some point and discovered them.

The only way I could keep the thoughts away was to think of nothing. I tuned out everything around me and emptied my mind. It usually left me feeling hollow, but it was better than breaking down.

But I couldn't keep doing that forever, I couldn't keep not talking about it because at some point it was going to have to come out.

"Madisyn."

I snapped out of one of my blank dazes and focused on Logan. "Yes?" I croaked.

"You're doing it again." He said, eyebrows furrowed. "Are you sure you're alright?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, Logan, I'm fine, just thinking."

"About what?"

I looked down at my hands. "I don't want to talk about this."

"Madi, you've been acting weird ever since Blake's house and I'm really getting tired of you just zoning out and not talking to me about it. Come on, you can trust me. I know it's top secret or whatever but I'm not going to tell anyone."

I shook my head. "I don't want to talk about it."

He let out an exasperated sigh. "Well when are you going to?"

"When I'm ready." I muttered.

"I get it if you don't want to talk to me about it, but maybe I should sign you up for a support group."

I glared at him, a small smile on his face. "What? Not funny?"

I rolled my eyes, looking down at my hands.

"I'm serious though, maybe you should go to a therapist. It will really help."

"I'll go if you do." I raised my eyebrows at him, remembering his aversion to getting help.

"I'm already going to a therapist," He took my hand. "You. I'm here, Madi, I'm here to talk. You don't have to tell me what you saw, but you could tell me how you're feeling, cry it out, I could give you head-"

"Shut up." I smiled for a moment before it faded away again. "I-I would tell you, but," I looked down at our interlaced fingers. "I don't know how." I wasn't lying. How was I supposed to tell them that every suspicion we had ever had about Blake was true, and worse? How was I supposed to explain that a bunch of innocent people were buried in a wall and left to rot? It makes it exceptionally harder when I can't actually tell him any details without feeling like I was going to pass out.

"Okay," He took a deep breath, pulling my hand closer to him, inviting me to lay down. "On a scale of one to ten, how awful was it?"

"Four hundred."