First Chance : Rock Romance #1

Chapter 23

Natalie

Running out of the airport, wanting to be home already. The pain that has consumed me since the leftover-lover opened his door is just too much. For the past five years of my life, my soul has been consumed by copious amounts of pain. I'm tired, exhausted of waking up every morning, only to remember.

No one understands what it is like, walking throughout life a shadow of my former self, my soul having been stolen. My heart in a constant ache, music being my only haven. That haven was stolen last night. Music notes, lyrics, rhythm, a beat, that's what passed between us. We wrote a song. Together. Pulling up to my and Layla's apartment, I see that her car isn't in the parking lot.

Thanking whoever is out there up above. I couldn't handle seeing her right now. She would be pissed that I came back. But I am not a fighter. I run away from anything that could get rough. And I just can't deal anymore. I can't.

Unlocking our apartment door, I frantically run into Layla's room, into her bathroom. Knowing that she has a prescription bottle of the opiate Oxycodone, desperate for this pain to be gone.

I find what I am looking for. Pushing down on the safety lock, I turn the cap, dump a handful in my hand and place the bottle back in her medicine cabinet. One hand full of pills I turn the faucet on, closing my eyes I say a prayer. God just please, please take it away. This pain it's just too much. Take it all away. Forgive me. I cup my hand under the water, tossing the pills down my throat and swallowing them with a gulp of water.

I run into my room and grab a notebook. I have to write Layla a note so she can somehow find a way to move on. So she can live her life guilt free. She has always been a fighter. My fighter, as well. She shouldn't have to be one for me though. Knowing I won't have long before the medicine works its way into my bloodstream, I begin writing with a shaky hand.

Dear Layla,

You will never know how much I love you and for that I am sorry. I am sorry I've done this, but I didn't have a choice. I'm just sick Lal. I just can't do this anymore. I'm so tired of hurting; I've made it so long with this ache and it's become too unbearable. I don't want you to hurt. This isn't your fault or anything you could have prevented. I just need to do this. I will see you again; I promise. I love you. Forever.

Nat

Sitting the notebook on my nightstand, my eye lids start getting heavy, my breathing shallow and my body slowly starts becoming lethargic. Pulling the picture of my parents out of my pocket, I lay down on my bed and hug the photo to my chest. So very comfortable. I keep my eyes closed and drift off to sleep...

"Are you at all haunted by memories past? Are you ready to make this one breathe your last? Is your chest so heavy you're ready to leave? Or are you just hoping that someone will grieve?"

-The Amity Affliction