First Chance : Rock Romance #1

Chapter 12

Steele

What did I just let fucking happen? God damn it. Jerking myself off and releasing in the shower did nothing to whet my appetite for her. When I opened the door and saw her realizing I was in nothing but a towel, her face flushing, I couldn't help myself. I needed to feel her, taste her, and I needed her to submit to me. She didn't. Not once. It was a battle of wills. Who would break first?

She had tasted of spearmint. I couldn't get enough. I wanted to strip her of her clothing and fuck her until she came all over my cock. Now left in the same situation I was when I entered the shower, hard and in need of a fuck. There is no way I am staying on the bus tonight. As soon as we hit the hotel up I am going out, a few shots of liquor and getting laid. I have to get this fucking girl out of my head.

Getting dressed, hating that my cock is still hard, I shove it in my jeans. Needing to express my thoughts, I grab my tattered notebook that I have had for years from my bunk. Sitting down at the now clean kitchen table, I begin to write a song. Still unsure if I want to share it with the band. It would truly showcase how cruel I can be. The words pour out of me...

"You say you want me

That you need me

Then get on your fucking knees and let me see

I say I hate you

That I don't need you

So stand up and run the fuck away

You say you miss me

That you love me

Then get on your fucking knees and let me see

I say I resent you

That I am disgusted by you

So stand up and run the fuck away

You say you crave me

That you liberate me

Then get on your fucking knees and let me see

I say I distrust you

That I can't need you

So stand up and run the fuck away

Why did you listen to me?"

I write many songs, whenever I am inspired by feeling. I am just particular about what songs I share with the world. Not sure if I could share this part of myself. If I could lift that shade to showcase my vulnerability. I close my notebook, saving this song for another day. If I were to get my guitar out right now and start playing while singing these words, they would know what or whom it is about.

I cannot let the guys see she has affected me. If by hate or sexual need. I am not open for any other emotions. I started out wanting to break her, to teach her that every artist puts their blood sweat and feeling into their songs, their art, and their work. Here I am days later, not only wanting to break her music shield but wanting to just break her. Utterly and completely, irrevocably.

Refusing myself that sadistic pleasure for now, I join the guys in the makeshift living room playing video games. Watching them fight one another in Mortal Kombat, I bring up the topic of Natalie training with Rick, our sound engineer, while we are on tour. I, myself, do not feel comfortable leaving her alone with Rick. The guy is a musical genius, he can tune any instrument, hear any differential sounds and pitch and act in a jiff on it.

When it comes to women though, he is always picking up our left over groupies and having them join the roadie bus. Leaving us to face these one night stand women on the regular.

Immediately thinking of him, I feel possessive. He is not going to get his hands on her if I have any say in this. Not wanting to show the guys how much this truly irks me. "So, the Times Union center will be Natalie's first hands on experience. I thought one of us could introduce Rick to her tonight. He can catch her up and fill her in on our shows and shit."

I say, hiding my distaste for Rick.

"Maybe I could teach her a few things, leaving her with Rick only for the actual show." Liam suggests.

Rage and jealousy instantly swirling around in my head, making my blood boil. Of course he would want to spend time with her, unbelievable that I had almost forgotten how chummy they were getting.

"Yeah, sure. Great fucking idea Liam."

I snap out while walking away. Hoping by ending this conversation these feelings will diminish. Refraining from taking my anger out on Liam, my closest friend, my brother. Natalie is working a game, and I am going to figure out what her payout is. I invited her on this god damn tour. Well more like manipulated and paid off her professor to get her on this fucking bus. Either way I could teach her what true music is or what it takes to become successful.