He's No Good - Zayn Malik

Chapter 88: Buying time

I looove it when you guys comment on stuff while you read, it's you guys who make it so fun for me to write! :')))

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Zayn's POV

She's gonna find out. That's all I can think about while lying in my bed, desperately trying to fall asleep. She's gonna find out. Everything, all my fucking lies.

I can't explain this shit to her - none of it. Me doing drugs behind her back again and again, me lying about Jade, again, and now this fucking fight. 

She would end us if she knew. If she finds out. Which she fucking will.

And she's probably even more weirded out now that I told her to go home after my slumber on the couch, and to leave me alone to drive home and just rest. I guess I did it to buy time to come up with an explanation, but maybe it was just plain rude, I'm not sure. She was already suspicious, I could feel it.

For a second I kind of regret the fact that I have flushed my drugs, as I'm just craving some sort of uplifting, but I push the thought aside as soon as it enters my head. I'm so fucking weak. 

I get up and go the kitchen to find two painkillers instead, since the wound still hurts quite a lot actually. But at least it's dried up so that it's not leaking anymore. 

I open the tap to fill a glass with cold water, and hop up to sit on the kitchen counter as I take the pills with a big gulp of water, the cold surface of the counter shockingly cold against my bare thighs.

I put the glass down and just stare out in the room for a bit, just listening to the ticking of the clock in the living room like some old ass depressed man.

Trying to push my worries about Zoe aside, I jump down from the counter again, and open the cabinet where I've hidden the knife. I look at it; the sharp matte blade, the matte black handle. The knife I once adored. Once it was my security, now it's the fucking source of so many of my problems.

I have to get it far away from me.

Opening a couple of drawers, I find a roll of duct tape, and start wrapping it around the blade and the tip enough times it can't cut anything anymore. I put on the clothes I wore earlier, that's hanging on the back of my chair, after deciding that I can't just throw the knife in the trash, not here. I might just be way too paranoid, but I'm not taking any chances.

I put on my leather jacket and my shoes, lock the door and run down the stairs and into my car, where I pull out on the road and start in the direction of the mall. I don't know where exactly I'm headed, but there must be some grocery store or something that has an accessible dumpster where I can toss it.

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Zoe's POV

I'm pretty sure Zayn isn't at school today. He didn't answer my text that I sent before I went, asking if he was doing better, and he wasn't there either when I walked past his locker this morning on my way to class.

I don't see him anywhere in the cafeteria at lunch either - he's usually not here ever anyway, since he's always out smoking with his friends or something. However today I do spot two of his friends walking past our table, alone. I guess Jason didn't meet up today either. I wonder how his face must be looking right now.

They see me as well, only just eyeing me for a split second. If they didn't always just walk around looking quite tough and creepy, I'd probably ask them straight up what it is Jason has on Zayn - and that's in spite of the fact that I usually hate confrontation, but I hardly got any sleep last night, because my head was so clouded with thoughts as I was trying to figure out possible theories. Anyways I think I did come up with a pretty good one.

- "Soo, are you free Zoe?" I hear Louis' voice, as Tamara gives me a light pad on the arm to get my attention. He grins slightly, raising his eyebrows.

- "What?" I guess I was all caught up in own thoughts for a second there.

-"Niall's party," He repeats, apparently. "Friday,"

Right. I think for a second, but I don't really have any plans for the week at all besides doing a bit of homework.

- "Sure," I say, and Harry nods and seems to be taking notes on his phone.

It's probably Louis' idea, since I've kind of figured by now, that Louis and Harry are the ones that plan all the parties, no matter where they are held - or Harry does the practical work and Louis has the ideas and invite people. And I guess Niall's parents just have the biggest house maybe.

I think back on the first party I went to here, which was also at Niall's house. The one that I attended with Zayn right when we first met. It was our first date sort of, and we had our first kiss in the car. It seems like ages ago, but it's really only a couple of months. So much has happened in that short span of time, it's crazy.

- "It's gonna be massive," Louis eagerly continues his party-talk, patting Niall's back. "Oh and you can bring your man," he adds.

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Gonna update very soon again as this was quite short!