i hired a hitman on myself // joshler [✓]

XXV

for about 5 minutes or so, we had sat in the car in silence. tyler had been texting someone on his phone and i was still trying to muster up the courage to talk to him.

it felt like i was nervous to talk to him as if he were my high school crush. though i didn't come out as bisexual until after i graduated, it was still a close resemblance to how i felt.

i took a deep, yet rather shaky breath before i spoke up,
"sooo uh-- tyler..." i trailed off when he turned his attention away from his phone to look at me with no distraction.

"yes, j-josh?" he teased, a smile forming on his lips, revealing the dimples that were prominent from his cheeks. i practically melted in the seat when i saw his smile, it was different now that it was before.

his smile was no longer menacing, it was more warm and comforting. i don't know what it was about him, but i've never really seen a smile that left this much of an effect on me. to say the least,

tyler had a really cute smile.

he noticed me admiring him, so he snapped me out of it when he spoke again in the same joking-like-tone,
"you okay there, buddy?"

i paused, immediately getting flustered an nervous, i shook my head quickly but i couldn't help but smile when i saw the genuine nature to him. it was so different coming from the guy who gets sent out to kill people.

god, he made me nervous.

"y-yeah," i finally choked out an answer that didn't sound to convincing either way, "i-i just f-figured we could t-talk?" i could already feel my cheeks flushing red from very obvious blushing.

"okay," he casually agreed, pulling his phone on the dashboard on his car, "what'dya wanna talk about?" he asked me, the smile never leaving the curl of his lips.

"you--" i immediately regretted my word choice even though he already understood what i had said as he started giggling a bit, "i-i mean-- whatever you wanna talk about." i tried saving myself.

tyler looked at me, "well..." he trailed off into his thought, i assumed he was just trying to think of what to talk about. after a few seconds of silence and pondering from him, a smirk divulged into tylers facial expression.

"what're your kinks, josh?"

immediately after he asked, i couldn't even have time to process it as i started profusely coughing, his question made me choke on my own spit. it caught me so off guard and i could already feel my cheeks getting redder and hotter by the second.

my coughing spasm was just about over after lasting for a few seconds and tyler speaks up again,
"well?" he was awaiting my answer, still smirking.

i didn't have time to comprehend anything of what was going on so all i could let out in my nervous state of panic was,

"i-- uh-well-um-i-don't-uh-well-um--"

"do i make you nervous, josh?" tyler cut off my endless stream of nonsense with his question. i looked at him wide eyed and scratched the back of my neck.

"i don't know," my shoulders shrugged, "i guess you do." i tried sounding as casual and nonchalant as possible.

"hm," tyler nodded, "that's good to know."

"oh um-- yeah," i was still flustered, "i guess so," tyler chuckled a bit, looking at me with his eyes full of wonder and content, but there was a bit of a sly look to him, too.

"so uh-- did you want an actual answer to that or...?" i wondered, he smiled and shook his head in response, "you don't have to if you don't want to," he explained, "i was just tryin' to tease you." he winked.

i nervously chuckled, but also feeling a bit relieved at the same time,
"oh okay good," i sighed a breath of ease, "i wouldn't have had an answer to give you, anyway." i told him.

"really?" he looked at me with a confused expression on his face, "a pretty boy like you doesn't have any kind of kink?" he questioned.

"nope," i shook my head, "i haven't even dated anyone since i was 17." i admit, he still looked puzzled.

"is that so?" he was still baffled, i nodded, "i find that hard to believe a lucky... uh, i don't wanna assume anything coz i don't know what you are." he cautiously stopped himself.

"i'm bi," i clarified, he nodded, "and you are...?" i wondered, he chuckled breathlessly again,

"it's your lucky day," he suggested, "coz i'm gay." he stated, i was a little shocked but not entirely. i'm not sure why, but he never struck me as straight.

"good to know," i smiled and nodded. the conversation was cut short when tylers phone buzzed. he picked it up, looked at the screen, and then proceeded to putting his phone into his coat pocket.

"sarahs ready," he told me while starting up the car and putting it into drive, "better go get her." i nodded in agreement as he began to cruise down the vacant road.

a few minutes into the drive, i couldn't help but wanted to ask tyler something, and curiosity did get the best of me,
"hey uh- tyler?" i spoke, he shortly hummed in response, "what are your kinks?" i turned to face hin.

he looks over at me for a few seconds, eyeing me from top to bottom from where i sat. he then slowly turned his attention back onto the road and smirked,

"oh you'll fine out soon enough, baby boy."