i hired a hitman on myself // joshler [✓]

XXXIV

[MY PANIC! CONCERT IS TONIGHT AND IM PANICKING! -frisk]

i was fast asleep as soon as i got into bed, not wanting to waste a second of shuteye. i couldn't tell how much time had passed, but something had woke me up during the course of the night.

i slowly pulled myself out of bed, rubbing the sleep from my eyes when i heard the sound that was familiar to a glass door sliding and shutting not too far from my room.

something was telling me not to go back to bed, but i wasn't sure why. though my gut feeling hasn't always been accurate, i decided to give it a chance, maybe this was something important.

i left my room carefully, not wanting the door to creek any louder than it already did, and shut it in the same steady manner. everything was still how it was before i went to bed, most of the cubicles were still moved to make that somewhat of a circle shape, so it wasn't hard to check around the place.

when searching the place, i noticed the corner you could turn from the kitchen from the far right of the room. i made my way over to see that there was a balcony area which indeed had a glass door, and dallon was on the other side of it with his back turned away from me

he was staring out into the horizon through the shadow of the night, so he couldn't have seen me. i slid the glass door, which only caused to look at me, but shortly after he turned back in his lounge chair,

"what're you doing up, dun?" he asked while sighing, i shut the door behind me before answering him, "something woke me up." i vaguely answered, he didn't question it much anyway.

there was quiet haunting the conversation before dallon spoke up after a few seconds of it,
"are y'gonna sit or just stand there stupidly?"

i couldn't tell if he meant that as a joke or was being serious, his tone wasn't easy to read. it was mainly flooded with what seemed to be a mix of tiredness and sadness.

i answered by sitting down next to him in the other chair, feeling my whole body sink in from the lightweight material just barely holding the cloth-made fold up chair together.

there the silence went again, trying to create the awkward tension it was known for. but i didn't it win since i already had a question i wanted to ask dallon,

"well, what're you doing up?" i duplicated the first thing he asked me, and plus i was genuinely curious as to why he was still awake. he didn't answer for what was almost a minute, but his answer have gave me a weird feeling in my stomach,

"i've been thinking too much," his softly told me, not looking me in the eye this whole time. i sat back in my chair, unable to think a response, so i came up with a wonder,

"what've you been thinking about?" he finally looked over at me, turning his head slowly to make short-lived eye contact with me. when he turned back to look at the sky, he responded with,

" a lot," he shook his head with sigh, "i've been thinking about tomorrow... and just how badly we're gonna lose tomorrow..." he trailed off, looking distraught in his own thought.

i shook my head, "we're not gonna lose--"

"and how the hell do you know that?" dallon sort of snapped, but still had worry in his tone, "last time we went up against raz we barely made it out of there alive--"

"well tomorrow isn't the last time," i unintentionally cut him off, "things change, holding on to the past isn't going to help." i assured him, trying to get him out of the pessimistic mindset.

he shook his head slowly, "sometimes the past comes back to haunt you... and you can't let go of it." he said this quietly, almost like he was talking to himself.

it sounded like he wasn't only referring to what we were talking about when he said this, so i then asked, "is there something else that's bothering you?"

he then let out a small chuckle, shaking his head once more while looking down, "it sounds melodramatic when i say it out loud." i shrugged,
"just say it, dude," i encouraged, "i won't judge."

dallon sighed and picked his head back up to stare ahead of him, "pretty sure it's the worst thing when you have feelings for someone, but they have those same feelings for someone else," he paused for a few seconds before continuing, "man, having a crush on your best friend really does suck."

"who's this best friend?" i already had a feeling that i knew, but i didn't wanna jump to assumptions before he actually said it. it took him some time to say it,

"brendon," he admitted, sounding rather ashamed, "i was hoping i'd get over this stupid crush, but i just-- i just can't." he reiterated, i could only feel bad for him as i've been in this situation before, it wasn't easy seeing someone else have to go through it.

"does he know you have these feelings?" i questioned him, he shook his head in response, "god, i hope not." he expressed this worry breathlessly.

"is that why you walked away earlier?" i looked over at him, "did that story trigger any memories?" i asked, dallon went silent, pale in the face even, but then his cheeks blushed a bright red.

"y-yeah," he stammered, "that was the night we kissed... but he was drunk, and i wasn't." his voice was once again filled with sadness, "he probably doesn't even remember that."

i frowned, "i'm sorry, dal." i apologized for nothing, but he quickly spoke again, "nothing be sorry for, josh," he told me, "but you should get to bed, it's a... a big day tomorrow." he suggested.

i hesitantly agreed, standing up out of my seat, "g'night, dude." i bid him, he just nodded and mumbled the same thing under his breath, still without looking at me.

before i walked out through glass door, dallon stopped me, "hey josh?" i turned back to face him as he was now looking at me, "yeah?"

"sorry for trying to kill you before ," he halved a smile, i couldn't help but let out a small chuckle, thinking back to how he was so determined to have me dead, but now he's apologizing for it.

"'no problem, dal, sweet dreams." i expressed, he nodded again, turning back in the chair as he was positioned when i first saw him. i then walked back to my room carefully and spent the rest of the night trying to ease my mind.

trying not to worry that we were gonna lose tomorrow.

[sorry i needed one more chap before shit hit the fan and i did wanna give some insight on dally coz why not?? okay that's all, i love you guys (: -frisk]