Erica's Ecstasy

Moving on

Erica's POV

Frustrated, hurt and angry, I headed back to my apartment to gather my things for graduation this Friday. The semester was finally over and I was finally done completing my Bachelor's Degree.  
I was excited  about graduating deep down, but I hated how things ended between Patricia and me. I figured I'd give her some time to take everything in. I had already moved on, but I wanted her to understand how truly sorry I was. Once I got home, I took a hot bath and fixed me a glass of red wine. As I took a sip, there was a knock at the door. It was my girlfriend. Her name was Madison. I had been seeing Madison for a month now. Patricia didn't know about Madison because I had broke things off with Patricia right when I started seeing Madison. I let her in and greeted her with a kiss. Madison was a little older than me. She was 32 and she was a CEO of a billing company here in NYC. Also, She was a model and extremely beautiful. She was tall, thin, curvy with nice, dark chocolate skin and long, natural, curly hair and full lips. She had the most beautiful smile.

I met her at a bar one Saturday night after a long day at work.
"Hey my darling!" She said, kissing me on the lips. She brought me a bouquet of flowers and Chinese food.
"Madison... This is so sweet of you. Thank you Precious." I said. She smelled like cocoa butter and fresh roses. She was nearly perfect.
"How was your day?" She asked, studying my body language.
"It was fine babe... I just..."
"What's on your mind?" Madison knew when something was wrong. She had a degree in psychology and nothing got pass her.
"I'm just a little nervous about graduating." I said.
She put her hand on my chin and lifted my face up, looking me in the eyes.
"You're lying to me." She said. "Tell me what's bothering you."
"I said I'm fine..."
She kissed me and one thing led to the next. Before I realised it, she was on top of me in my bed. She began sucking my neck, removing my robe as she made her way down.
"Madison wait!" I pushed her off of me and sat up.
"What's wrong?" She said.
"I'm not ready yet." I put my head down. Madison was so fucking beautiful and sexy. How could I not want this?
She sat up beside me in bed and grabbed my hand.
"How long are you going to make me wait before I can finally taste you?" Madison said, kissing me on the lips again. I loved her touch. I loved everything about her but...
"Erica do you hear me talking to you?"
"Huh? Oh... Umm-"
"Are you okay? What's wrong?" She kissed my neck and I pulled away.
"I just..."
"Did I do something wrong?" Madison was fierce, obsevant, and sensitive all in one.
"Madison I'm just not ready to take it there yet. It's nothing you did wrong. I'm just not in the mood."
"I can get you in the mood if you let me..." She whispered in my ear and licked my neck. Kissing me in the same spot.
"Please stop." I said.
"Okay what the hell is the matter Erica? You've been acting strange all week. It's already bad enough I'm so busy with work and can hardly see you. What's going on? Why won't you make love to me? Why won't you touch me? Am I not good enough? I really like you. I want this. I love...." She paused and climbed out of bed.
"Where are you going? Were you going to tell me you love me?" I followed her to the living room.
"Erica I really like you. What I feel for you I don't feel for many. I just wish you'd talk to me. I just want to please you. But you won't let me..." She said.
I had a million thoughts racing through my head.
"Say something. Why won't you talk to me?" She continued.
"Madison I need some time to think okay? I'm sorry. Maybe you should go."
"Why won't you talk to me?" She walked over to me and kissed me on the lips. Then the neck again. Then she hugged me.
"Erica I love you. But if you don't want me just be honest with me."
" I never said that. Im just not ready to have sex with you yet."
"Why?" She asked, giving me the look she gives when she's reading me.
"Because I'm still trying to move on alright?'
"From who?"
"My past. I'm just exhausted alright? I care for you. I do."
"Do you love me?" She said.
I couldn't answer her.
She didn't say anything else. She just grabbed her purse and coat, and left out. Moving on was a difficult process for me. Patricia was so heavily on my mind. I went to bed wondering what tomorrow would bring.