And Then She Showed Up / Smosh Squad!

Chapter 55

"There's always something going on, if you haven't noticed," Courtney said. She bit the insides of her cheeks, hoping she finds her destination in her speech.
"I know there is, it's just... We don't feel that way about each other, so let's just not make those jokes anymore," Olivia replied. She paused to sigh and rub her temples.
"That's where you're wrong." Courtney's tone went dense and almost forced, yet vulnerable. Even so, it seemed emotionless. Olivia didn't know how to describe it.

"About... Which part exactly?"

"The only part you could be wrong about."
Courtney kept her attention on the girl, who stared at the door.
"I could be wrong about everything," Olivia shrugged. As if trying to deter the conversation.
"That's not entirely true."
"So I'm wrong?"
"So your information is false. False and wrong are sort of different."

"I don't entirely understand?"
"Wrong means not right. Something that isn't right doesn't make it not true. The facts are there Olivia Sui."
"You feel that way about me?" Olivia whispered sorely.

"That part isn't false. It's true but it's wrong... Isn't it?" Courtney bit her lip, preparing herself for any number of her previously imagined scenarios.

Olivia didn't say anything for a moment.
"I like you Liv, a lot," Courtney croaked, worriedly. "I want to be with you-"

"We're best friend's Courtney- best friend's don't- I'm with James! You don't... You're joking."
Olivia looked like she had several ideas to which she wanted to say all of them at the same time. Her eyes were widened and maybe, worried.
Courtney nearly scoffed, but instead sighed.
"Stop Liv," she said gently instead. "I denied it at first, and I tried really hard to tell myself that I don't... Believe me, I tried my hardest. This is it though, I know that I do. I really do and it pains me more than excites me sometimes, because I see you with James and see how you talk about him a lot. I mean a lot, Liv geez."
She wanted to explain herself. She wanted to reach forward and grab Olivia's hands. She wanted to look into her eyes and see how she feels instead of listening to this fear in her voice.

In any scenario that she had imagined, she never would've thought that real Olivia would get frantic, of all things and say that she probably just didn't like her. It was  frustrating to Courtney.
"It's- For how long did you know? It's been... Since we met hasn't it? You acted like it more then, but now you don't... Not as much... Is it because of James?"
"Don't bring him up right now, this isn't about him. Olivia I already get tortured every time you talk about him. It hurts sometimes because as much as you want to tell me about the knight in shining armour, I want to be telling you about how much I want to be with you, and how much I want to kiss you. I pull through it because you're still my best friend before you are my crush, but sometimes it's just too much for me before I go back home to hate myself because you'll like him more than you'll ever like me!" Courtney groaned frustrated, as she had stood up. She paced around the room. "Things should've been different... I should've got here sooner" Courtney sighed, closing her eyes.
Olivia watched, left without words. "Even if you did..." she drifted off, keeping her eyes on the blonde, subconsciously training her eyes to not roam the girl's body. "It wouldn't change the fact that I like James."
"Whenever you started liking James?" Courtney wanted to glance back, however she refrained.
"It wouldn't- It's not a thing. If you came around then, it's not like I'd have ended up gay. Just like even though I did start liking James when I did didn't make me turn out straight... I mean that it's just a thing. I am who I am despite my surroundings."
"Are you straight?" Courtney bit her lip. Her wording sort of confused her. Almost gave her hope too.
"Courtney that's not the point of what I'm saying. Having you here years ago wouldn't change the fact that I started liking James."
"Whether or not you're straight or gay changes some things... It's different-"
"It is different, because we're talking about who I like-" Olivia tried to state.
"Yeah and I already know I'm not on the list Liv, I want to know whether or not you are gay or straight or somewhere in between or just something."
"What does it change?!" Olivia said at a louder volume just below shouting. She then exhaled, turning away when Courtney finally turned around to face her.
"It changes whether you can like me back or not," Courtney said lowly. Olivia sighed.
"Don't be like that Liv, isn't it a possibility then? We have fun! We talk to each other and we click together. You and James-"
"Are none of your business. Courtney you're my best friend. You can't just get the first girl that you're really good friends with and say that you have a crush on her because you're gay-"
"What are you even saying? That's not... That's not the gay agenda or whatever. I do have female friends. Female friends that I have connections with... But with you Liv I feel something different."
"How can you be sure?" Olivia croaked, scratching her forearm anxiously.
"I do have female friends. And then there was Jess whom I was with for a long while. That relationship was something else, and I did like her. I really thought I did and I thought we could last beyond high school you know? But we didn't and then I met you! And now I know what they say when they meet someone they want to wake up next to in decades."
"What are you saying? That you-you want to marry me and be in my life that long?" Olivia asked cautiously.
"I'm saying I want to be here next to you, hopefully to go through life with. I'm not saying to exactly share and grow together, and not just coexisting either. I'd love to be here as your best friend, but I know that I could show you more." Courtney had sat back down. Olivia was staring out her window however wasn't paying attention to the outside image.
Courtney slowly moved to graze her fingers to Olivia's forearm, stopping her anxious movements. More like soothing?
The other girl didn't protest. She felt her fingertips glide down her arm, understanding that the blonde wanted her attention but didn't dare turn around.
"I want to ask you if you would go on a date with me," Courtney said, in a voice that didn't sound like hers. It sounded like a different person to Olivia. It sounded hurt, and worried. Olivia's Courtney was bold, happy, and comfortable. Sure she understood the situation, but Olivia was not used to hearing her his way.

"I want you still to be my best friend," Olivia whispered.

"I know that Olivia, but I want you to give us a chance too. You're giving James a chance every time you're with him and with me... you're building him up in your mind instead of seeing me for what you could see me as. Olive, maybe I should just go," Courtney said painfully. She wanted to keep talking to Olivia but it also seemed like she was beating a dead horse over and over. She figured that she wouldn't see Courtney's feelings no matter how much she cried them out. She also realized she couldn't force her to elicit any kind of romantic feelings for her back. Prying won't do anything. Even if Olivia did say yes, nothing would be the same after so she figured to just stay her best friend.

"I meant I wanted you to ask me as my best friend... I like that one better than the robot that asked me out," Olivia whispered to Courtney, who had already left the apartment.
Her thoughts were jumbled and actually, Olivia wanted to cry. In the arms of Courtney herself but that wouldn't happen she figured.
She felt sick.