I'm So Sick {BoyxBoy & FIN}

Not Good Enough

This is my playlist for this story! I will post it more when I make other chapters! :D Thank you again! I love it. 

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Sterek and Andy called ten billion times and I was on the verge from throwing my phone across the room. I did it my alarm clock. I wanted to sleep but if I sleep, I'll dream and If I dream, I'll scream. My parents didn't need to hear my constant screams in the night.

I drew three different pictures in the sketch that Cassandra gave me. I drew Andy, Sterek, and my dog, Griffin. I planned on calling her if anything was wrong but it was 2am and I didn't want to fuck up her life. I ran my hand over my face and sighed slowly. Shay didn't know I haven't gotten a good sleep because of the nightmares. I had a feeling Sterek knew was something up because he seen the bags under my eyes.

Maybe kicking him out was a bad idea. What if Shay was right? What if he was trying to help and see that I was defending my ex? I kind of was now that I think of it. But I couldn't deny the thought of Casper's parents kicking him out for being who he is and me not doing anything. How would my parents take it? Would they disown me? Would they be overjoy and keep the same old son? These thoughts were giving me a headache. Griffin growled lowly and shifted his head that was on my lap. I grabbed my phone and decided to call Sterek. I went to my contacts and found 'SexyLanky'. I chuckled and pressed his name. I waited patiently for him to pick up.

"Hello?"

My heart caught on my throat when I heard his hoarse voice on the other end.

"Were you sleeping?" I said.

"No, I was fucking skydiving because I do that in 2am in the fucking morning."

I smirked. "You sound hot when you curse."

"And you look hot when you're pissed."

I chuckled again and I heard movement in the other line. "I'm sorry for waking you up," I apologized.

"What's the real reason you woke me up, Gabe? You usually don't call. Wait, you never call me because we see each other on a daily basis."

I sighed and leaned on my elbow, playing with Griffin's collar. "Okay you caught me. I wanted to say sorry for kcking you out. I was pissed when you said something about my ex friends. I'm still getting used to things, y'know?"

Sterek yawned. "Yeah, I know. I just wanted to know about your life. Sorry for acting like a jelly jealous fish."

I snickered. "Yeah. Maybe you can tell me about your life. I hardly know you and Andy."

There was a pause and I almost hang up the phone when I didn't hear his voice. Did he fall asleep on me? Did I say something wrong? It seemed like Andy and Sterek didn't want to tell me their secrets and I was almost impatient. I told Sterek something about me. I should at least know something about him! "Secrets can either tear us apart or bring our relationships together."

"It'll bring us together."

"It almost tear us apart when you told me to get out."

"No, I told you to get the fuck out of my house."

"Why do I have to tell you? You're not my fucking mother."

A pang hit my heart. Why couldn't he understand that I wanted to know him? I told him a secret of mine and he couldn't do the same thing for me?

"Don't you say it," Shay warned. I felt my heart get heavy and the tears welled up in my eyes. Why the hell was I crying? I wasn't in my regular nightmares with Shay. Was this a nightmare?

"Why can't you trust me?" I blurted.

Sterek sighed tiredly and another movement was heard. I covered my mouth with my hand and tried keeping the sobs deep in my throat. "Gabe, it's just something I don't want to talk about. I know you're trying to help but I don't think you'll help me. You make everything better but you don't make everything fixed. You're not Bob the builder."

I hiccuped and let out sob by accident.

"G-Gabe, are you crying?" He asked.

"Sorry I'm not good enough."

"Wait Gabe, I didn't-" I hung up the phone and dropped my phone on the floor.

"You make everything better but you don't make everything fixed."

I thought breaking up was the hardest thing to hear but hearing your boyfriend say that he doesn't trust you right from the gecko has to be the biggest punch to the heart ever. Shay rubbed my back but that wasn't good enough. I wasn't good enough. I cried myself to sleep that night. I didn't have any nightmares because my nightmare was reality. I rather be asleep than be awake.