I'm So Sick {BoyxBoy & FIN}

"Guardian Angel"

I stared at my ceiling that had glowing stars. Shay was lying next to me and Griffin head was on my chest. I was straching his head softly as we watched the stars shine as the day got darker and darker. I sighed in content and smiled softly to myself. Things were going great. I had Griffin, a friend that was turning into my best friend, a boyfriend that was lovable and cute, and my parents not treating me like I'm sick anymore. I was glad that Shay was here to see my happy moments. Even though he isn't actually here.

"Y'know, it gets better. The ending isn't near," Shay mumbled.

I turned my head, tearing my eyes away from the glowing stars and looking at Shay. He was staring at the ceiling and he looked tired but happy. He starched his head and sighed slowly.

"I kept your jacket. Sterek thinks it looks nice on me," I whispered.

Shay chuckled and ruffled my hair. "I knew you loved my jacket, loser. Why didn't you asked?"

"Because I didn't think you'll be gone."

Shay eyes went on me and he frowned. I wiped my cheeks and sniffed, running my fingers through Griffin's fur. Griffin nuzzled in my chest and let his tongue out of his mouth. I wrinkled my nose and smiled, pulling a blanket over us.

"Dying is a very peaceful thing. I decided to die because it was my choose. Don't feel guilty that I died, Gabe. I'm always going to be in that puny, dorky heart of yours."

I tried to take in his words but I couldn't. Him being gone made me feel like shit and nothing mattered in the world. How I could forget he was here when he was the one who helped me with everything? He wasn't just my brother, he was my friend who I lived with.

If I got better, will he go away? Will I ever see him again? Was God going to take him because he needed him? I didn't believe in ghosts or the paranomal because I thought it was all BS. But now I see what people are talking about. They had their "guardian angel" or their "hero". I just had my brother. The same old brother who was teaching about life. Just like his regular self when he was alive.

"Shut up," I said and turned around. I closed my eyes and tried going asleep. I couldn't go to sleep when a cold air was laying next to you. Griffin shifted and pulled out of my grip. I heard him whimper a few times and then a thud. I knew he was laying down on the small bed that my parents got for him. Griffin would sometimes sleep in the day to take his regular naps. My parents told me some dogs do that and I didn't mind since I fall asleep in the day.

"How's Cassandra? She's treating you well?" I heard Shay asked.

"Everyone treats me well, Shay," I said.

"I know but what's going through your mind? Is it Sterek?"

I chuckled and bit my lips. I should tell him what's going on and how I found out I was gay. "I wasn't always like this," I stated. "I liked girls at times. but they didn't catch my attention. I thought it was a pharse but boy was I wrong!" I heard Shay laughed and I laughed too. "It all changed when I turned 11. I was finding new music, noticed how good looking boys were, and founded out that mom's cooking wasn't excatly my appetite."

Shay laughed louder and I laughed with him. When it died down, I continued my story. "I thought it will changed me but it didn't. I viewed guys differently but I don't like every guy I see, y'know?"

Shay appeared in front of me with his lips curved upwards and his eyes lit up. "That's why you like that guy from a band called...Sleeping with Sirens, right?"

I smiled and nodded. "I'm glad you remembered! You was trying to get mom and dad let us go to a concert this year."

"Maybe you can go with Sterek and Andy. I know they like that kind of stuff."

I rolled my eyes and my smile widen. Shay didn't like my music but he listened to it sometimes. He thought some of the stuff was too heavy but he liked songs that was a little soft than full screaming. But that didn't bothered me anymore. Shay accpeted me and I was finally calm. Now it's my parents I have to deal with.

Shay ruffled my hair and said, "Mom and dad will understand. If they don't, pull out the "son is gone" card, okay?"

I nodded and Shay smiled before leaning on the wall and crossed his arms. It was kind of weird having your own brother staring at you until you fall asleep but Shay was my brother. He's sort of a "guardian angel".