I'm So Sick {BoyxBoy & FIN}

Recovery

I want to thanks those who's reading this story and commenting and voting because it's just freaking awesome! I finally got to 700 fans and I can't wait to get to 800! This story will be ending around March and I will be making a new story or coniuting with Btr or SWAFC OR Afraid. I was thinking of giving it to people who wants to write it but I'm not sure. Anywho, enjoy this chapter and tell me what you think! ^-^

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My eyes slowly opened and I saw a picture of Andy, Sterek, Griffin, and I standing in front of my house with huge smiles on our faces but Griffin had his tongue sticked out. Andy had her arm slung over Sterek's shoulder and Sterek's arm was around my waist, pulling me close to him as I smiled and I had my hand on top of Griffin's head. He loved when I ruffled his hair.

I slammed the picture face down on my dresser and rubbed my eyes. I got up and cracked my back and neck, groaning slowly. I waited for Griffin to attack me with licks on my face. Instead, I got silence and no licks on my face. As much I didn't want his saliva on me, it was the only way he could tell me I love you and that I'm here for you. I grabbed my phone on my dresser and saw that I missed fourteen missed calls  and ten texts from Andy, five from Sterek, and twelve texts messages and missed calls from my parents.

I dropped my phone on my bed and got up, walking out of my room and into my bathroom. My eyes full red and dull, I had the same clothes on from yesterday, and my hands felt dry. Everything was shit. I felt like shit. I washed my hands slowly and roughly. I had Griffin's blood on my hands and I wanted it to go away. I felt the dry blood on my shirt and I just wanted every once of blood to disappear yet the only blood I wanted to see was my own. I shook my head and turned the water on hot. I won't do it. I won't slice my arm again. I haven't sliced my arm since I met Andy and Sterek. Or did I?

 I froze for a second. The only sound was my breathing and the water running. What I did wasn't right but I couldn't help it. I stopped but my life just seemed to go crazy every time I tried to make things right. Casper wouldn't leave me alone, Jake tried to kill me, Shay hates me, and my parents thinks I'm a anti-social teen with no life and talks to himself when I'm really talking to Shay.

I turned off the water and placed my wet hands on the side of the sink. I looked at myself and sighed deeply. Dull blue eyes stared back at me.

"You're thinking about doing it again, aren't you?" He asked.

I chuckled and licked my lips. "Why would you care? You left me."

"You're my brother, Gabe. I would never leave you."

"Shut up," I ran a hand over face and glared at him. He caused this. If Shay wasn't around, I wouldn't have met Sterek and Andy, Griffin would still be alive, Jake wouldn't have attacked him, and Casper would still be the dumbass he is. What is he here for? Does he want to ruin my life more?

"What do you want?" I said and turned around, looking at him.

Shay never aged or changed. He sill had the bloody, dry clothes. His eyes were dull and his hair was still messy. He was the exact person that I found on the floor bleeding. "You haven't stopped, have you?" He said.

I gave him an innocent look and raised an eyebrow. He glared at me and my sleeve was pulled up quickly, showing my arm. It wasn't a regular arm. I had scars that were healing or wasn't healing. I pulled my sleeve down and turned around to face the mirror. I opened the medicine cabinet and took out my dad's straight. I placed it on my skin and pressed the tip on a blue vein but I couldn't. Shay was behind me and showing him what I did killed him and I inside.

"Do you really want to leave mom, dad, Andy, and Sterek? They love you."

"But I love you and Griffin! Both of you are gone!" I cried.

"People come and go, Gabe. It's life."

"It doesn't matter if its life! I just want you and Griffin here." I screamed and cried.

He's just an idiot. Griffin would understand quickly because he listened. Shay wouldn't listened because he had other things to do or hang out with Casper. I felt a hand on my arm and turned me around, pulling me somewhere soft and cold. I had an iron grip on the straight but I was clutching on Shay's shirt, not wanting him to do. If I let go, he'll disappear. If I keep holding on tight, tight enough to break, he wouldn't go away and he'll be on my mind like before.

Shay ran a hand through my hair and sighed. "I'm making you suffer, Gabe. You have to understand that'll always be watching over you. Griffin's death wasn't your fault. Griffin is happy where he is," Shay explained.

I shook my head, rubbing my face on his shirt. The tears kept coming and coming. The hand that had the straight was shaking violently and my cries were getting louder.  "I-I can't," I stuttered.

"Yes you can. Just drop the straight," Shay ordered.

I took a deep breath and slowly let my fingers let go of the straight. When I fully let go, my breath slowed down. My shoulders relaxed, my head didn't hurt, and for once in my life I was at ease. I pulled away and looked up to see Shay smiling proudly at me. "Good. This is just the first thing of recovery. If you actually did cut, I was going to kick your ass back to Earth."

It wasn't really a funny joke because it was a serious issue but I laughed. It's been hours since I last laughed. It felt good. Shay ruffled my hair and his smile widen.

The door slammed opened and my dad was there. When he saw me, his eyes wondered around until it landed on something on the ground. My dad opened his mouth to say something when I quickly grabbed the straight and walked towards him. I grabbed his hand and opened it. I placed the straight slowly on his hand so he won't get cut and looked into his eyes.

"Throw this away and don't ever let me near anything sharp in the bathroom ever again," I said seriously. My dad looked shocked and confused but he didn't asked questions. He simply nodded and hugged me. My head was on his chest and I closed my eyes, sighing.

"I'm not letting another son of mine leave me. I'm sorry about Griffin," he said sincerely.

I'm sorry about everything.

I wanted to say that but I didn't have the balls to. I have my dad a load of crap and he didn't really need any of it. Every time I saw a year come out of my mom's eyes, I would cut. I would blame everything on my parents and (ex) friends but most of myself. They didn't need any of it. I didn't need any of it. I nodded and let go of him. I walked into my room and closed the door. I laid on my bed and stared at the wall. Griffin would sleep on my legs or next to me. I felt an empty space that needed to be filled. No dog could replace Griffin because he was one of a kind. Shay leaned on the wall that I was staring at and had his arms crossed over his chest.

"How do you feel?" He questioned.

I thought for a second. "Honestly...I feel relieved. I still feel like shit but in trying," I replied truthfully.

Shay nodded. "Recovery, man. Recovery."

I lifted the picture on my dresser and grabbed my phone. There was a new text from Sterek. I opened my phone and read the message.

I'll be at Mickey's. Come if you want. I miss you. :/

I bit my bottom lip and tapped my fingers on the screen. Did I really want to go out? I wanted to sleep but I didn't want Sterek and Andy worrying about me anymore. I was going to be fine. I wasn't going to feel sick. I got out of my bed, put on my sneakers, and rushed out of my room, grabbing my coat.

"Bye mom, bye dad!" I yelled. I ran out of my house and ran to Mickey's that was thirty minutes away. I texted quickly to Sterek.

I'm coming Get me got cocoa. I miss you too and I'm ready.