I'm So Sick {BoyxBoy & FIN}

The Blame Game

Andy flitted with her hair with her fingers and stared at the TV. She looked lost in the world. She was covering if up like nothing was happening but inside she was broken. She found out her boyfriend was threatening her friends and a present she gave to her friend died. I put so much shit onto her and Sterek that I'm surprised their still my friends.

I bit my bottom lip, wondering if I should say something. I read on posts and magazines that when a girl is down, you should always hug them and bring them something happy (food). Andy was now staring at the TV and squeezing and twisting the end of her shirt. I slowly wrapped my arms around her and squeezed my cheek on her shoulder. Her shoulders relaxed and she sighed loudly. She placed her hands on top of mine and I felt like I should say something.

Andy turned her head to look at me and gave me a small smile. "When I was your age, I was bullied. I liked things that people usually wouldn't like, I wasn't pretty enough, and I wasn't smarter enough. I didn't have the right clothes yet I had the money to buy fancy clothes. I didn't want to be like the rest of the people in our school. I wanted to be different and find friends would judge me," Andy explained.

She took a deep breath and gave me wary smile. "Then I met you. I know we haven't had the best times in our friendship but I wanted to let you know that you're my best friend and that I'm-"

Andy broke down crying. She covered her face with her hands and cried. It was hard for all of us. When they told Griffin didn't make it, Sterek was the first one to start crying. He then threw a chair at a window and three doctors had to take him down. My mom cried the whole day. Andy was lost that she walked out of the hospital. My dad held my mom as she cried and he cried too. I don't remember what I was doing. I couldn't feel or hear. The only thing I saw was Griffin heart stopped and his fur covered in blood and cuts. That day broke my friends and family.

Andy cried on my shoulder and gripped me tight. I held onto her and let some tears fall too. "This is all my fault. I shouldn't have given Griffin to you. I didn't know Jake hated dogs. I thought you could protect him!" Andy cried.

My tears stopped and I let go off Andy, standing up. She stared confused at me. My fist clenched and I gritted my teeth. "It's funny how you said this is all my fault but it sounds like it's my fault. I didn't know Griffin would die, I didn't know Jake hated dogs, but I  certainly knew that Griffin protected me. Even if it means he would get killed."

Andy got up and more tears started falling. I wasn't sure if I made her cried more because of what I said or the death of Griffin. She opened her mouth to say something when I held my hand up for her to stop. I didn't need this right now. It was the last thing I needed for Griffin's death to be my fault. We all knew who was blamed for and it was Jake, the bastard who wanted to kill me but instead killed my dog. And I get fucking blamed for it? Bullshit. I walked past Andy and up the stairs.

"Let the fucking door hit your face," I muttered and slammed my door closed.

I jumped on my bed and buried my face into my pillow.

"Smooth move, dude,"

I groaned and turned my head to see Shay's forehead leaned on the window and his eyes starting at the sky.

"She didn't mean it. It was all rubbish," Shay said.

"That's what they all say. They say something and then denies it later. Fucking hypocrites," I said and closed my eyes.

Griffin's tongue licking my cheek, my hand touching his silk, wam fur, and more importantly, his fucking blue eyes staring at me. I couldn't see his piercing blue eyes anymore and that squeezed my heart.

"It hurts, doesn't it? Not seeing his blue eyes again, but instead you see grey, stormy eyes slowly closing. It's better than-"

"Shut up," I interrupted. "Just shut the fuck up!"

I opened my eyes to see Shay staring sadly at me. He ran a hand throw his hair and sighed. "Death isn't so bad. Close your eyes and breath."

I gripped my pillows and chocked out a sob. Why couldn't death leave me alone? What have I done to have both of the most important family taken away from me? Is it because I'm gay? I can't change that. Is it because it was their turn? It wasn't. What the hell did i do to have a weight on my heart? What was the purpose of Shay being here if I kept feeling like I was...sick?

The door bell brought be back to life. Shay disappeared. I slowly got up and walked out of my room. I ran a hand over my face and rolled my shoulders. I wiped my eyes but what's the point? I'll cry in the next fifteen minutes. I opened the door and I couldn't hide the shock from my face and voice. He smiled and took a step forward.

"Keith?"