(Pre- Apocalypse One Shot)
Hands run up his sweat coated chest as you both reach your peaks, riding them out, until you collapse onto the old mattress beside him.
His hand instantly reaches out to the bedside table to grab his pack of cigarettes, lighting one up.
"Ye ain't gotta leave sugah." Merle tells you as you begin pulling your clothes back on. His smirk present in his voice even if you aren't looking at him.
"I need some air." You whisper, smoothing the skirt of your summer sundress down. Walking through the small run down house to the front porch, that had a clear view of the blanket of stars rolled out in the night sky.
Sighing, the soft July breeze blows through your hair, and just like every time for the last two weeks all you were feeling was regret and disgust.
The feel of his hands on your skin burning you like the butt of a cigarette, and the places he kissed you feel as though he marked you with something unwashable. No matter how hard you scrub, the feeling is always there.
The sound of the creaky screen door opening startles you, causing your head to snap backwards to look.
"Sorry," Daryl mumbles, walking towards you and drops down to sit beside you on the wooden steps. "didn't know ya was out 'ere."
Shaking your head, you feel your heart slowing down. "It's okay."
"Can't sleep?" You ask, staring up at the sky. Always filled with wonder when you gaze up towards it.
"Nah," Daryl says, taking out a cigarette and sticking it between his teeth as he fishes for his lighter. "too much noise."
That makes your face turn a bright burning red, the embarrasment mixing with the regret. Only ending up with a toxic combination.
Resting your elbows on your knees, your cover your face with your hands. Wishing in that moment to just disapear, and somehow find the strength to never come back.
"God," You whisper, although your words are muffled by your hands. "This is so embarrassing."
"Then why ye keep doin it?" Daryl wonders out loud, his words muffled slightly as he takes a drag on the cigarette.
Your head raises slowly to look at him, stunned by his bluntness. Even if you should be used to it; his personality.
"I don't know." You tell him shaking your head, looking down at your hands resting in your lap now.
The wind blowing softly at the light purple fabric of your dress, as the scent of smoke and fresh air surrounds you.
"He don't love ya." Daryl points out, looking over at you but you can't say you did the same. "Ain't capable of lovin anyone."
You met Merle in a bar months ago, and had a one night stand. Except it didn't stay just a one night; turned to be at least once a week. The two of you had a relationship; but one of purely sex. As much as it made you feel disgusting and when you looked in the mirror not recognize who was looking back... You couldn't stop what you were doing.
"I know," You whisper. "it isn't about love."
"Then wha is it bout?" Daryl asks, throwing his burned out cigarette to the ground and stomping on it with his boot.
It was a question you had asked yourself many times, but still never discovered a good enough answer.
"Feeling something."
Breathing it out into the open air felt good, a theraputic release of sorts.
"Don't got to shag my brother jus ta feel somethin." Daryl tells you, and you can hear the faint tone of disgust hidden within his words.
