The sky was gray that day; the sun not to be seen. For it's rays of light would have been too bright for those who stood beneath the trees in a shade of darkness. The sunshine would have seemed out of place on a day that was deary and depressing. A day when light itself was saddening. It would have rubbed in their faces the light that was taken too soon from this world... So the sky stayed dark.
"We look at not what can be seen, but we look at what can not be seen."
Father Gabriel's voice rings out through the quiet humid air, but falls short when reaching Daryl Dixon's ears. Others find solance in the scripture he reads, feeling God's presence falling upon them in this time of loss. But to Daryl, his words mean nothing. They are words; empty words read from paper that can't magically take away the pain inside of his broken heart. Words that can't bring your body back to life from the grave you lay in. Words that can't bring you back to him.
"For what can be seen is temporary... but what cannot be seen is eternal."
Daryl dug your grave, he wouldn't allow it to be anyone but him. He hadn't even accepted help from those who offered. Instead, he stabbed his shovel deep into the Earth and dug.
It was like the Earth didn't want you though, as if it did all it could to keep you away. For the ground felt as though it was winter. Hard and barren beneath the metal shovel he used. But Daryl plowed through the dirt despite the ground's protest.
He was also the one to carry your body to the grave he dug on his own. His arms held your limp lifeless body securely, and placing you down into that dark hole in the Earth was the hardest thing he ever had to do.
While carrying your body, that had become heavy after death and made him crave one more minute of life to surge throughout your being, was heartbreakingly challenging. Placing you in the grave he had dug, was harder. For that was the final goodbye. That was the end. The minute your body touched the dirt, and that white sheet floated down to cover your lifeless body... It was truly goodbye.
"For we know the earthly tent we live in is destroyed,"
Daryl heard none of the words Father Gabriel read, for he was too busy hearing the last words you said to him in his mind. He could hear your beautiful voice clear as crystal, as if you stood beside him in the summer heat, whispering them to him right then. He pictured your face as you said them. The curl of your pale thin lips when you smiled with the words passing through, and the softness in which you spoke. Your words were the ones he wanted to hear, not God's.
For your words made him feel better. Your words had the ability to calm his mind and slow his heart when it beat a mile a minute. God's scripture was a reminder to all that you were in a better place. That you were in the heavens above looking down upon him. But to Daryl, it felt as if another way God had forgotten about Daryl's best interest. For he needed you. He needed you here... With him. Not up in heaven, but here. And God calling you home felt like one more challenge Daryl Dixon had never once asked for. He just wanted to stay alive in this world with you by his side. That was all he ever wanted.
"We have a building from God, a house not made with hand, eternal in the heavens."
But here Daryl stood, before your grave, shedding slient tears for you. Many tears had slipped from Daryl as he rested you down into the ground. They had fallen and soaked into your skin as he stood staring down at your body before placing the sheet over it. He stood gazing down at your lifeless being for the longest time. Crying over you and his loss, and his tears were burried right along with you.
A part of Daryl had wanted to lay down next to you in the dark dirt. Wrap his arms around your cold still body and shut his eyes. He wanted to lay there with you as dirt was shoveled on top. Covering the two of you together, but Daryl stayed above the Earth. He watched as the dirt and the rocks covered your body, and stained the white sheet. He watched silently as you disappeared from view. As you disappeared from this world... and disappeared from him.
"In the heavens."
Heaven was a difficult concept for Daryl, especially now as he stood beneath the tree in front of your burried body.
Because he knew that it was a place more extraordinary than any human being could ever imagine. He knew you would be safe. That you would be happy and content up in the skies above him. But even with that knowledge, his stomach churned at the idea. He felt guilt for wanting you here, in this world. Where death surrounded you with each step. A world where chaos insued and the days seemed endless with struggle and pain. He never wanted you to go through that, yet he still wanted you here. As selfishly as it sounded, he wanted you here in this dark world instead of up there in the light.
A hand resting gently on his shoulder makes Daryl's head turn to the left, just enough to see the person in the corner of his eye.
"Daryl," Carol whispers lowly. "Its time to go."
He hadn't even realized that time had passed since Gabriel had finished reading from his Bible, and that the small crowd of family had faded. All that was left was Carol standing next to a broken man.
Daryl looks at the woman for a short minute, before turning his gaze back to your grave. Wild flowers lined the raised dirt, but there was not a headstone nor a cross to mark your place. The flowers and the tall beautiful tree shading your grave was enough Daryl supposed.
Carol's hand retreated and she walked a few steps to wait for Daryl to come with her. But he stood there to take one last long look at your final resting place.
His hands gripped tightly to the crossbow hanging across his shoulder, and his hair shadowed over his face as he stares downward. And with one last deep breath and one final gaze at your grave, Daryl Dixon turns around.
This, Daryl thought to himself, was even harder than putting you into the ground. This... Walking away from the place you laid peacefully underneath the weeping willow tree... Was the moment his heart snapped.
To say one last goodbye and know he would never see you or your grave again.
"She's in a better place." Carol says gently as Daryl walks with her back to the cars.
A better place, Daryl pondered. Here under the shelter of the willow tree or up there in the heavens... Either way Daryl carried with him the knowledge that you were safe. That you were loved by him. And the knowledge that maybe one day, God willing... He would see you again.
A/N: It took me the longest time to write this one shot, I had been wanting to write it for a while, but each time I tried it just wasn't right. I think I finally got it! What do you all think??💛
