crush ✧ j.t

Chapter 9

Perries POV

We hear the door open and see Jade run over and sit infront of me. I now have my three best friends around me, all looking at my teary eyes.  I look at Jade who is slightly smiling and I hang my head down, trying to hide a smile, a smile full of pain. "I'm so glad I have you guys", I whisper, and I feel their arms wrap around me. "We can do this together Perrie", says Jade and I look up to meet my eyes with her own.

*

I slump on to the bed, Jesy and Leigh-Anne seconds after. Jesy crosses her legs and Leigh-Anne pulls her knees up to her chest and wraps her arms around them. I sigh, leaning against the pillows of my double bed, the two girls gaze on me. Jesys reassuring. Leigh-Anne's curious.

"I've been keeping this for ages now Leigh-Anne, and once I tell you I think you'll understand why." I see her nod. "Well, I think to start... I don't like Alex."

I watch as her eyes widen in shock; "But how, you two look so i love and you ar-" I cut her off before she can continue. "I-I", I can't keep without gulping, and Jesy places her hand on my leg and nods. I smile slightly. "I love Jade", I barely whisper, and I feel a tiny bit of the pressure lift of my shoulders. I see Leigh-Anne's eyes soften, but widen at the same time. "Did I hear that right? You love Jade?!", she squeals and I slam my hand on her lips to stop her from shouting. She smiles apologetically and continues. "Well now that you've said it, everything does make a lot more sense..."

"Leigh-Anne, I just need to know if you support me with this." I say and I see her eyes glow and she leans forward. "Of course Pez! This is actually so adorable!", she squeals wrapping her arms around me. I feel the tears swell up when Leigh-Anne pulls away. "So is this why you always act different when Jed's around?", she asks gently. I nod, closing my eyes tight and the mention of his name. "So why are you with Alex if you loved her?", asks Leigh-Anne. "Well, I think I kind of started dating him to try forget about Jade, try and not love her. It isn't working... If anything it's making it worse." I see Jesy whipe a tear away from my eye, and it's then that I realize i'm sobbing. "Well maybe you could start with ending things with Alex." says Leigh-Anne, and then I notice the logic of it. But I can't imagine how much harder it probably would be. He was kind of like a distraction whether he was here or not. "I-I don't know", I mumble, but Jesy is already handing me my phone. "It's the right thing to do Pez. If you keep on he could find out and it could really hurt him", she says.

I do it as Jesy is the only person I trust when it comes to this kind of stuff. I hold it up to my ear and hear it ring once before answering.

"Hey Pez! I miss you." I feel my heart break, but I guess in the long run it will be worth it.
"Alex, can you talk right now?", I say gently.
"Of course... Are you crying?"
"Ye- I am not the point. I can't do this anymore."

I look at Leigh-Anne and Jesy who are both looking at me reassuringly.

"Wait what? What do you mean?"
"Something doesn't seem right between us. Alex, don't get me wrong, I've always loved you, but my heart belongs to someone"

I hear the line go quiet, apart from his breathing. The room falls in to a deafening silence before I hear the door open, and after a few seconds I hear two beeps as he hangs up. I throw my phone aimlessly on the bed and flip and burry my head in my pillow. I've never felt such an overpowering mix of emotions. Loss, pain, regret, and relief? I hear whispering behind me, and I lift my head up, looking at Jesy whispering in Jades ear. I see her eyes widen as she sees me and rushes to my side.

"Why Perrie?", she says gently. I turn my head so i'm facing her, and I see something I can't put my finger on in her eyes. "Something just wasn't right", I say simply. She places her hand on my back, running shapes over my tshirt. After a while she breaks in the silence in the room. "Did it feel right?", she whispers, now lying next to me, her fingers still running over my back, her warm breath fanning my face. I feel my heart start to beat; "Like the rightest thing i've ever done"