crush ✧ j.t

Chapter 38

Jades POV

When I finally stop crying I walk back in to the lounge to reveal just Jesy and Perrie. Perrie has her head in Jesys lap and Jesy is running her fingers through her hair. A whimper escapes my lips. Jesy looks at me and quickly stops stroking Perries hair. "She won't want to sleep in our room tonight will she?", I say, my voice barely audible.
"The truth is, probably not".
I kneel down next to the sofa and my face is inches away from Perries. She breathing gently, and her mouth is slightly open. Her face looks damp. I move my lips cautiously and place a gentle kiss on her cheek. My lips barely brush her skin with the fear of waking me her. I run a hand down her cheek and quickly move it, standing up. Jesys smiling gently at me.

"What do I do Jess?", I say, the tears wanting to fall but I don't allow them.
"Just don't give up, by the look of it she's more upset than she's letting on". She smiles gently at me and looks down at her sleeping on her lap, running a strand of her hair through her fingers. Out of reflex, I slap Jesys hand, making her chuckle at my jealousy. "But how", I say, sitting on the coffee table facing Jesy with blonde her sprawled over her lap, and Perries face at peace. "Just be honest with her", she says. "She won't listen to me, she's too mad". A tear falls down my face and I quickly wipe it away, running my hand through my hair.
"Well try it and if it doesn't work ill knock some sense in to her. You two are so in love and perfect for eachother". She says the first thing normally and her voice goes softer than usual at the last bit.
"I'm sorry for throwing all of this on you, especially after yesterday", I say after a few seconds of silence. Jesy breaks in to a smile. "Shut it Jade, it's fine".

Perries POV

I wake up to something soft on my cheek. I don't open my eyes and try to stay still. I feel my head lift before being placed on presumably a pillow. "Night Pez". I hear Jades gentle voice and it echoes around my head. I hate being mad at her , I really do, but she needs to realize that I have feelings and she can't take everything out on me and not have a single piece of freedom to do what I want, yet she can do what she wants.
"I should be the one to sleep on the sofa, she'll hurt her neck", she says, making my heart melt slightly
"It'll wake her up though, and I don't want another argument", jokes Jesy lightly.
"I hate that I hurt her", says Jade, her  voice cracking at the end. I stur slightly, not being able stay in this position any longer.
"It will be okay Jadey", says Jesy.
"When did she get changed?"
"She changed quickly after the football".
After that the room goes quiet until one minute later a blanket is gently draped over my body, slightly startling me. A few seconds later the door clicks shut and I take a deep sigh.

I spend hours tossing and turning and trying to forget how safe I feel when she's lying on my chest, her legs intertwined with mine. I can't help but imagine the gently movement of her lips against mine. Her legs intertwining with mine. The loving glance in her eyes. Everything. But I can't ignore the buzzing fury inside me. She can't just throw me on the side all the time.

I sigh and before I notice what I'm doing my legs are carrying me to me and Jades room. My hand rests on the cold metal and my whole body fills with chills. I try to use the sudden currage to open the door but I freeze, and a silent tear rolls down my cheek. I walk forward a few steps until reaching Jesys room and knocking the door gently. I open it slowly to see the gentle glow of her phone illuminating her face. "You couldn't sleep either?", says Jesy, already budging and patting the mattress next to her. I scurry over to the bed and sit up against the headboard, pulling the duvet up. "I just can't stop thinking about her", I say.
Jesy rubs my arm gently. "Why don't you forgive her, she obviously regrets what she did".
"I haven't had the chance, she hasn't apologized"
"She did earlier". I try to talk but nothing comes out and the room falls in to silence.
"When she talks to you just don't push her away and fight her. Listen to what she has to say"
"But sometimes she drives me mad Jess. She doesn't listen to my point"
"I was talking earlier and she's scared to talk to you as you're too mad"

I feel guilt flood up inside me as I notice just how unfair and selfish i'm being. "Can we just leave this", I say sharply, budging closer to Jesy and placing my head on her shoulder. The room goes quiet and I fall asleep imagining Jesys shoulder was Jades, and trying to imagine her sweet scent.