Falling for the Raven [L.Lawliet x Reader]

Chapter 31

Before we begin, I don't know much about funerals in Japan. However, despite religion, almost all funerals in Japan are held in the traditional Buddhist manor. And I'm not Buddhist. So this is not a Buddhist funeral since I have no knowledge about Buddhist funerals... Oki doki. Also sorry I'm two days late.
Y/N's POV
Once again I sit in front of my mirror. Only this time I wasn't looking at myself. I was staring at my phone. That's what I had done all night last night. Dying for a response something, anything to know this was real.
10:49PM From: ( ˘ ³˘)♥Ryuzaki♥ ヾ(❛ε❛")ʃ
Two more month, my dear. Je T'aime.
10:49PM To: ( ˘ ³˘)♥Ryuzaki♥ヾ(❛ε❛")ʃ
Who is this? If this is actually you, I love you too.
I was weary making sure not to say his name, just in case it isn't him.
11:35PM To: ( ˘ ³˘)♥Ryuzaki♥ヾ(❛ε❛")ʃ
Ryuzaki please. Respond. You can't leave me like this.
3:08AM To: ( ˘ ³˘)♥Ryuzaki♥ヾ(❛ε❛")ʃ
Ryuzaki, if you love me, reply to me. I don't even care what you say, I just need some sort of proof that your still out there.
3:23AM To: ( ˘ ³˘)♥Ryuzaki♥ヾ(❛ε❛")ʃ
Goodnight Ryuzaki, I love you.

He never texted back. I ended up falling asleep around 3:30, and here we are, sitting in front of a mirror, nine hours later.
I'm not looking like a mess for once. My hair was done up nicely. I wore a lacy black dress matched with a black cardigan and a single pearl necklace. Though I'm not from Japan, it's not accepted to wear any other accessories besides a pearl necklace. I had a little bit of eyeshadow on. A thin line of eyeliner comforted my lash line. A light shade of lipstick laid upon my lips. I didn't want my makeup to run or smudge, so I kept it light.
It is March 28th. It's been about two months since he past. Today is the day we "celebrate" the life he had lived.
I glanced at myself one last time before I stepped outside my room. My roommates looked up me, and I returned a sorrowful smile to them.
"Ready to go?" Charlotte asked. I nodded in response. We put our shoes on then left the room. After walking to the train station, we took a silent train ride to our destination. We were going to a funeral place called "Peace Celebration" in Koto-Ku.
So this is it. I guess this'll finally let me say goodbye. I stepped into the funeral home, taking a deep breath. I hadn't cried in a week, I wouldn't like that to end now. I doubt that would happen though.
It was a closed casket funeral, lucky for me. I'm sure just seeing him again would kill me.
I had shaped up a bit. I've cleaned myself up. I was at work at more decent hours, not much overtime-ish. I've kind of been improving. I'm not really doing that poorly. Mentally I feel a lot happier. I can smile for real, but physically I can't say the same. I've somewhat stopped finding food appetizing. My weight has significantly dropped over the past few weeks. Ugh I'm trying to be healthier I just don't feel like eating. I don't know...
I walked up to his casket, sadly smiling at the memories playing in my head. Watari's casket was right next to his. I slid my fingers along the box. The cold, smooth wood felt nice against my hand.
"I love you," the whispered words escaped my mouth. Tears immediately welled up in my eyes in reaction to the familiar phrase. Those the words hadn't been said in a long time. This time there was no response from Lawliet. The distant memory of Lawliet saying "I love you too" in return repeated endlessly in my head.
The room began to fill with more people, but I hadn't left my spot beside him to socialize.
My feet slowly shuffled to let me have a glance at the other guests. I saw some task force members, but the first people I noticed were two young boys. They couldn't be past the age of fifteen. They stuck out like a sore thumb.
The first boy had a sweet and childish look. He had on white pajamas with a clip on tie, and he had a dark blazer over it. He wasn't really wearing the blazer though, it was just messily slung around his shoulders. He had messy white hair and white socks. The boy somewhat resembled L.
The other boy seemed a bit older and angry. Maybe he just has one of those faces where he always looks pissed off. (Mello has major RBF.) His blond hair was just above his shoulders and had bangs straight across. He wore a brown zipped up vest and a large black jacket. Some candy trash was hanging out of his blazer pocket. He had on black gloves and a silver necklace with a cross.
The boy in white looked up to the other, saying something to him. The older one just sighed and looked away.
I was slightly intrigued by the two boys. I wanted to speak them, but I didn't want to leave Lawliet's side. "I'll be back," I whispered.
I stepped off the small platform Lawliet's casket was resting on. My feet made their way to approach the two boys. The younger boy tapped on the older's shoulder then pointed at me. I think they noticed I was walking toward them. The boys began to walk toward me.
My lips curled into a small smile," Hello."
The white haired boy cocked his head to the side. His left arm slowly raised to the air, pointing at me. "Your L's girlfriend, right?" The older boy smacked the others ' arm down," What the hell, Near!? You can't say shit like that!" The blond whispered something into the younger ones ear. Clearly the blond boy was short tempered.
"Was... I uh... was his girlfriend," tears immediately filled my eyes.
"Oh! Right," he nodded a bit, scratching his head awkwardly.
"Excuse me to the restroom please," I quickly stepped away, making my way to "freshen up."
Before I could stop myself, I was crying. Too hard. I don't know why I'm embarrassed to cry at a funeral, but I am. That's why I'm hiding in the bathroom right now.
I looked in the mirror, wiping away the tears that were taking home in my eyes. The tears slowly stopped racing down my cheeks. I tried to look as though I hadn't been crying. I sniffled a bit and fixed my hair.
I didn't expect myself to not cry, I mean, it's a funeral. I guess I didn't expect to be crying so soon. Nothing much has really happened for me to be sad, right? Will this be it? Will I cry every time someone just but mentions him? I need to be stronger. I need to be better. I need- The clicking of the bathroom door pulled me out of my thoughts.
A woman I hadn't known stepped into the restroom with me. She politely bowed her head down.
"Excuse me," I bowed my head down and walked out of the bathroom, returning to the ceremony area.
There were more people than before, but the space wasn't crowded. Besides the people I knew, everyone seemed to be teenagers... young teenagers. All the kids didn't look sad. They didn't seem phased at all. I think they were all students at Wammy's.
Who I believe is Near, began to walk toward me. The blond boy trailed closely behind him. Another boy was now with them. He had brownish green and a red and black striped shirt. (I don't know Matt's official colors. Like I've seen him with red hair, brown hair, and purple hair a few times too. I used the brown. That's the same dealio with the shirt. I'm not sure if it's black and white or black and red or red and white.) There were goggles on his forehead, and he had on black gloves. He held a small video game device in his left hand.
None of these kids were really dressed "appropriately" you could say. Normally at funerals, people wear darker colors, nice dark clothing.
The blond boy shoved the white haired one towards me. "Sorry for making you cry or something."
"What? Oh yeah, no, it's okay, you're fine," I stumbled on my words a bit, embarrassed by this boy's bluntness. "So how did you you guys know L?" L; the word stuck to me. No one really refers to him as L though. Normally he was Ryuzaki or Ryuga or anything else.
"We both attend Wammy's; orphanage for the gifted," The younger one spoke up. He's the only one I've actually heard talk. He didn't have very good social skills. It's was odd how he listed the whole title. This boy really is similar to Lawliet.
"Oh, I see," I gave him a weak smile. "L/N, F/N, it's a pleasure to meet you," I bowed my head down.
"Near," The youngest looking one said.
"Mello, nice to meet you," The blond said with a smile.
"Matt," The brunette mumbled, not looking up from his video game. Well at least one of these boys has social skills.
"Perhaps we will see each other later on. I work in detective business, so maybe we'll meet there. I know Wammy's is where L began. Sorry I'm getting off track, I'm I have to prepare for the eulogy.
~Time Skip~
I stood up slightly downstage of between the two caskets. I took a deep breath trying to find the words I had carefully selected a few weeks ago. My eyes scanned the small crowd, only recognizing a few faces.
"We're all here to celebrate the life that these two men lived. Two months ago the world was stripped of two wonderful people. Whatever name you called him, however you knew him, Ryuzaki was a fantastic man. It will be difficult to put into words how much I love him. When I look back at the memories of us together, I think of a period of wonder and bliss. Everyone in this room can agree with me that Ryuzaki was purely remarkable. He was a genius, he never failed to surprise me. Every choice he made was a new adventure for everyone around him.
I've know Ryuzaki for a long time. Maybe longer than some people here have been alive. We first met when I was about five years old, on a swing set. He opened me up to so many amazing experiences. He..." I took a deep breath and bit my lower lip. "He was the best thing to ever happen to me. We were friends for a very long time before we actually became a couple. My parents definitely disapproved of me having a male friend when I was younger.
One time, during the summer going into fifth grade, I believe, a couple of my not-very-close friends and I were going to the neighborhood park, so I suggested we invited Ryuzaki. They all shared that look like 'ew why would we want to hang out with that loser.' Slowly they just started to make fun of him, and I got so angry with them. So I pushed one of the girls, and she fell onto the grass, luckily not too hard. I just ran away from them since I was too upset. After running for a while, I found myself at the front gate of Wammy's, searching for Ryuzaki in the front yard," I laughed a little bit, remembering all the time we shared together.
"Him and I were inseparable for many years of my childhood.
Ryuzaki ended up moving away from London to here in Japan during junior high. That was a very difficult time for me, trying to get over not seeing him anymore. We eventually flash forward to about a year ago, and we're both living in Tokyo, Japan. He asked me out in a hospital, so you can't get much more romantic than that.
We all shared beautiful memories with this young man. He was taken away too quickly, too painfully. There was no warning to his death, no chance to say goodbye. He was snatched away from me, and there was nothing anyone could do about it.
Ryuzaki was unlike any other person in the world. He was smart, and caring, and great to be around. I don't know anyone who could replace him. He had interesting fashion, I'm sure we can agree on that, and shoes weren't really his thing. He also didn't work with people very well. And he had an unhealthy addiction to sugar. Nonetheless; Ryuzaki was a very capable man. I will gravely miss his soul. He did so much for so many people, he's saved my life before. Ryuzaki solved thousands of cases during his work career. He went under a plethora of different names. Each identity of his would slightly slip out a bit of his unique personality. To many people he was know as 'L.' To me L was for laughter, L was for life, L was for love, thank you."