Locked Away

02. Little secrets

Wewe's

"How are things in Texas, Wewe?"

We were in the bathtub that night. I was rubbing Apollo's back while he was playing with the bubbles. Napalunok ako. Good thing hindi siya nakaharap sa akin.

"Okay naman na. Nakausap ko na rin iyong buyer ng farm. Masakit man sa loob ko pero wala naman na kasing mag-aasikaso doon eh. So I have to let it go kahit na I spent half of my good vivid memories with Bobby there..."

Noon humarap sa akin si Apollo. "I never heard you called Robert Lactaotao Dad, why is that?" I smiled.

"Well because, I had always called him Bobby. It's our thing. I remembered when he was teaching me to ride a horse. It's our special bond and my sisters used to be so jealous of it."

Hinaplos ni Apollo ang mukha ko. "You can always ride my horse..." Kinindatan niya ako. Namula ang mukha ko. Hindi pa rin ako sanay sa mga sexual jokes ni Apollo.

"Parang bago nang bago ah!" Natawa siya at hinatak ako. Dumikit ang katawan ko sa kanya at muli akong nakaramdam ng kakaibang kiliti. I sighed. I had always loved the feel of Apollo's warmth against mine. Kahit noong unang beses pa lang naming ginawa ang bagay na iyon – kahit na noong sa pagkakataong iyon punong-puno ako nang pagtataka at pagdududa sa kanya bilang si Achilles.

When he came that day sa mayor's office, may kutob akong ibang tao siya. Something was odd about him per dahil tuloy ang plano noon, hindi ako kumibo, hindi ako nag-isip. When we had sex for the first time – it was sex – I realized that he's not Achilles pero matigas ako, si Achilles siya. Hindi ako pwedeng matalo.

But then bago niya pa ako dalhin sa America noon para puntahan si Achilles, alam kong siya nga si Apollo and it surprised me that it didn't bother me at all. Mahal ko noon si Achill but I guess, my love for him wasn't enough – it's not even as close to what I have wit Apollo.

Apollo Vejar shook my walls – isang bagay na hindi nagawa ni Achilles noon. I smiled at him.

"I love you..." I told him. "That is something that will never change kahit anong mangyari." Sabi ko ulit. I want to remind him that every day. Ayokong makalimutan niya na mahal ko siya at ang pagmamahal na iyon ay totoo, wagas at puro. Gusto kong maalala niya ako bilang ang babaeng nagmamahal sa kanya nang sagad sa buto, siksik na tapos liglig pa.

"I know." He answered and kissed me. I lingered a bit. Sinakop niya iyong kaliwang boobs ko. "Kita mo, lumalaki na! Konting exercise pa!"

"Sira ulo!" I looked at him. "H'wag muna tayong mag-make love ngayon, Pol. I just wanna cuddle." I told him. Hinaplos niya ang mukha ko. Mukhang pagbibigyan naman niya ako dahil halos gabi-gabi naman kami. Nagpapahinga lang kami kapag may mens ako. After seven days, go na naman si Pol. I don't know. I can never understand his appetite for sex. I can never top that.

"Bakit? Na-miss mo ba ako?" Parang nakakalokong tanong niya.

"Kahit naman kasama kita, nami-miss kita, Apollo. I love you so, so much."

He nodded. "Alright, I will dry you and we'll just cuddle tonight." Hinalikan niya ang tungki nang aking ilong. Apollo stayed true to his promise. Nag-cuddle lang kaming dalawa. Mahigpit ko siyang niyakap because I don't want to feel like he's slipping away from me.

"Wewe..." He called my name right before I drift to slumber land. I looked at him. Naupo kami sa gitna ng kama at mula sa bedside table sa side niya ay inilabas niya ang kulay asul na velvet box na hindi lang iisang beses kong nakita. Napapalatak ako.

"Apollo..."

"No. I want you to hold onto it. Hindi kita tinatanong. You see, Consunjis never asks. I'm a part Consunji and part Vejar, so I won't ask. Hold onto it and wear it when you are ready, Wewe. I know, minsan ko lang sabihin pero mahal kita, sobrang mahal na mahal kita, Sabr---"