Locked Away

05. Secret's out

"Apollo... saan ka ba nanggaling?"

Tiningnan ako ni Achilles. Lasing na lasing si Apollo at mukhang hindi na siya tatayo hanggang bukas nang tanghali. Nanliliit ako sa mga tinging iyon ni Achill. Alam kong nasabi na sa kanya ni Apollo ang naging daloy ng usapan naming dalawa and it makes me sad. How painful it was to love someone that you can never have? Ang buong pag-aakala ko ay magiging maayos na ang lahat. Mahal ko si Apollo, hindi niya ako sinasaktan, mahal niya ako, she treats me like I am the center of his world pero wala ngang lihim na hindi nabubunyag.

Isang linggo na siyang hindi umuwi sa akin. Alam kong nasa Tagaytay siya. Madalas ko kasing kausap si Percy. Sabi nga niya, baka daw nagpapalamig lang ng ulo si Apollo. Siguro nga, kasi masyadong masakit ang mga nalaman ni Apollo. How can he understand the fact that I was married – na lumalabas na siya pa ang third party gayong siya naman ang tunay kong mahal?

Hindi kayang tanggapin iyon ng ego ni Apollo. He's dominant. He wants everything around him to be his property.

I am married. I married this guy when I was nineteen years old. He was twenty three by that time. I only married him para makatakas sa mga magulang ko – kay Venus. Venus never treated me like his daughter – we'll because I'm not. I was a stowaway and his husband found me and took me in their farm. I was nine back then. Hindi ako gusto ni Venus pero sabi ng adoptive father ko, kasing edad ko halos ang namatay nilang anak. He took care of me, and loved me as his own. Venus was the one to give me her dead child's name. Ayokong tanggapin pero wala akong magagawa.

When I was eighteen, my adoptive father died and my life became miserable. I ran away from home because Venus was abusing me physically. Kasalanan ko daw na namatay ang asawa niya at dahil doon nagkabaon – baon sila sa utang. I lived in the subways and the parks around Texas hanggang sa hindi ko na kinaya, I met Magnus Horiss – half American, half Pinoy. He helped me, he gave me a place to stay and then because of my utang na loob, I agreed on marrying him.

Of course, he wanted to have sex with me. Pero ayoko at dahil doon, sinasaktan niya ako. Isang gabi, halos ikamatay ko na ang pananakit niya, he beat me to death. Hinampas niya ako ng bote ng alak sa batok. Sinampal niya ako nang paulit-ulit hanggang sa pumutok ang labi ko. I thought, I'll lose my eyesight because he punched me right in my eye. I had broken ribs. He wanted to take my body – I just couldn't. I told him that I'd rather die than have sex with him and I think, he planned on killing me that night.

He stabbed my leg and my arm. I was screaming in pain – thank God someone heard me, they called 911 and I was saved. I spent the last six months of my life inside an institute that takes care of battered women hanggang sa dumating si at Raquel at inilabas niya ako roon. Inuwi niya ako sa bahay, tinanggap nila akong muli sa kondisyon na tutulungan ko silang maghiganti sa mga taong nanakit kay Venus noon. And when I agreed, Venus treated me right – like a daughter...

I bit my lower lip.

Pinapasok ko si Achilles at Apollo sa bahay. Inihiga ni Achilles si Apollo sa couch. Akmang aalis ako nang hawakan ako ni Achill sa braso. He made me look at him. I saw many things in his eyes. I was sighing. Alam kong magtatanong na siya sa ngayon. Naiiyak na ako.

"What?"

"Who are you? Hindi ka si Sabrina. What's your real name?"

I swallowed hard. Matagal-tagal nang panahon ang lumipas nang huli kong sambitin ang pangalan ko.

"Cas..."

"Cassandra?" Pangunguna ni Achill.

I shook my head.

"My real name is Castalia Zaryne Ashworth."

Achill stared at me.

"So you're not SNL..."