Dirty Dancing {Jelena} ✔

Chapter 23

Ellie's P.O.V

Things were getting worse, mom still drank and brought home guys my age or a couple years older sometimes. Me? Well, I did what I always do in situations like these.

Coped in my own way. But somehow it all felt wrong for the very first time after years of not having a regret of what I did. Like something wasn't right. I think Luke felt that too when we slept together. 

I was being more distant than I usually am. And it appeared in me staring up at the ceiling as he took me in his bed. For some reason I was thinking of someone else, someone I didn't ever think would cross my mind.

I couldn't stand him, at least that's how it used to be. But now...now things just changed and I wasn't sure if they had for the worst or better. My trust issues were still there, preventing me from any rational thinking, or any thinking at all to be honest.

But he was always there when I needed someone to talk to. He always understood me and somehow made me feel a little bit better. And that was something I rarely ever experienced, which made me wonder alot lately as to what the hell changed suddenly.

Was I wrong to have judged him at the beginning so quickly? Or was I wrong to have opened up a little to him?

I guess I'd have to find the answer to that question the hard way. Just like I always learn things in life. I have to stumble and fall to realise that gravity isn't all that friendly or trustworthy.

But there has always been this small hope, no matter how small it was, it still was there. That someday things will get better, that I'll find someone, not to catch me when I fall, but rather pull me up whenever I did fall and to always be there to dust me off afterwards.

And maybe, just maybe I've found that someone...

*

We talked, about anything and everything. Everything but what we really needed to say. The words were stuck in my mouth, not managing to make an escape even when my mouth granted it the escape route it needed.

I wanted to scream, to just run away and to never look back. I wanted to change, a better tomorrow. But most importantly I wanted to find the real me. Not the one tainted with sorrow and the shadow of the past that won't leave her alone. 

I just wanted a release, a breath of fresh air. And somehow he was the oxygen I needed so bad.

So we talked and just kept talking, trying to fill in the silence. Thinking that if we were to stay silent, it'd swallow us whole. Silence. Was once my friend for too long, now I just need a breather.

An escape...

*

"Are you sure about this?"

I felt nervous and for the very first time, I let it show, I let my guard down. Even for the littlest bit, I did.

"I mean we never use this room anyways, my mom wouldn't mind, seeing that she's always already busy at work. Besides you need somewhere to stay...pretty convenient, don't you think?" He replied casually with a shrug.

"I just don't-"

"Do you ever shut up? Woman, come here and help me out with your bed!"

He cut me off, making me roll my eyes, but a smile managed to appear on my face nevertheless. He was covering the bed with covers since as he mentioned before, this room wasn't used that much. It was a guestroom and apparently they don't have guests to stay over that often.

"Charming as always, Brady "

I said sarcastically with a playful roll of my eyes. And then I was helping him with  the bed. Somewhere along putting the pillows on the bed, we ended up having a pillow fight.