Almost Feels Like Always (COMPLETED)

(NINETEEN) Autumnal Break

HUDSON and his family left for Cabo, Saturday night. Nauna kaming umalis. Friday pa lang kasi tumulak na kami pa-Davao, right after me and my siblings went home from school.

Hindi na nga kami nagkita bago kami mag-hiwalay because Mom and Dad were always in a rush when traveling. Ang huling pagkikita namin ay ang lunch namin sa botanical garden. Nag-text na lang ako sa kanya na aalis na kami. He got pissed but what else can he do?

The days passed by so slow like it was deliberately taking it's time to mock me. Bawat araw na lumilipas na hindi ko nakikita si Hudson ay tila isang taon ang katumbas. We rarely talk. I'm not that busy but he is. Umaga pa lang ay umaalis na sila para mag-stroll sa city o di kaya'y mag-swimming tapos gabi na sila babalik sa hotel.

We FaceTime pero sandali lang din. Nakikita ko kasi sa mukha niya na pagod na siya but he still stays up late just to talk to me. I don't want to be inconsiderate kaya sinasabi ko na lang na may gagawin kami para ibaba na niya ang tawag at makapag-pahinga na siya.

Sa pang-pitong araw namin sa ancestral house nila Dad ay pinag-empake na kami dahil may emergency sa hospital at kailangan si Mom. Natuwa ako pero hindi gaano dahil alam ko namang wala pa rin sa Manila si Hudson. He called that day and I told him we're going home the next morning.

"Bakit napaaga?" Tanong niya habang sinusuklay ng mga daliri ang basang buhok niya.

I find it sexy. He was topless so his shoulders and chest were showing on the screen. I bit my lip. Damn. I missed him so much.

"May emergency si Mom."

He looked worried. "Okay. But everything's alright?"

Tumango ako. "Yeah..."

Umayos siya ng higa. Sa liwanag ng screen ay nakita ko ang paglamlam ng kanyang mga mata. "I miss you, baby..."

I don't know why I suddenly became emotional. The lump in my throat started to grow, making it hard for me to swallow and talk. My chest tightened, my stomach turned, and my eyes were misty. Dammit.

Miss na miss ko na rin siya pero hindi ko magawang magsalita kasi baka maiyak na ako kapag sinabi ko 'yun sa kanya. I bit my lower lip harder, hoping a sob wouldn't escape.

"Baby, I miss you. So much. I can't wait to go home." His voice was raspy. It's like it's hard for him to talk, too.

Humigpit ang pagkakahawak ko sa phone. Ang isang kamay ko naman ay kumuyom.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

I was alarmed by Hudson's question and tone.

"Why are you crying?"

Shit. Am I? I sniffed. Then, saka ko lang naramdaman ang pamamasa ng mga pisngi ko. I was crying. My God. I'm being such a baby. I wiped the tears off my face.

"Baby, please..." Hudson was begging. "Why are you crying? You're scaring me. Please tell me what's wrong..."

Umiling-iling ako habang sumisinghot. "N-Nothing..." My voice was shaking. Even my lips.

"Hindi ka iiyak ng walang dahilan. Sabihin mo sa 'kin, Autumn. What's wrong? Please... Nahihirapan ako dito..."

Tiningnan ko siya sa screen. His face was painted with fear and worry.

"Wala..." I sniffed. "Miss na miss lang kita... Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko kasi sobrang miss na kita... Gusto na kitang makita..." Lalo akong naiyak habang sinasabi ko 'yun. Imbis na ma-relieved ako ay tila ba nadagdagan pa ang bigat ng nararamdaman ko.

Hudson closed his eyes. Na para bang ninanamnam ang bawat salitang sinabi ko "Shit..." He muttered. I could feel the pain in his eyes when his lids parted again. "Do you know what you're doing to me, baby? You're melting me..."