Almost Feels Like Always (COMPLETED)

(EIGHTEEN) Before The Winter Solstice

HUDSON held my hand and squeezed it. I looked at him and he gave me a knowing smile. He encouraged me to show off my works for the world to see and I agreed because I trust her with my life. He said we'll ask his brother and his cousin—who were both prominent in the Art field— for opinion or suggestion on what we should do. Kaya nandito kami ngayon sa bahay nila. He suggested that I should have an exhibit and I love the idea but I declined right away when he said he's going to ask his cousins to help him fund it.

"Relax. You're gonna be fine." He lowly said.

Tipid akong ngumiti. "I can't help it. Haharap ako sa dalawa sa pinaka mahusay na arkitekto sa bansa, sinong hindi kakabahan?"

He smirked. "Babe, si Kuya Gibbs at Kuya Clay lang 'yun. They're your family now, too. It'll be alright."

Papasok na kami sa front door nang huminto ako. I had to. My chest was hammering like crazy. I'm nervous as hell. "Paano kung hindi nila magustuhan ang gawa ko?"

Hudson let out a sigh. Hinawakan niya ang balikat ko at pinihit ako paharap sa kanya. He then cupped my face. "Kung hindi nila magustuhan, 'di hindi. Bahala sila. It's their loss." He planted a soft kiss in my mouth. "Basta ako, nandito lang ako. When the whole world turned its back on you, I'll still be here. Ako'ng bahala, okay?"

Maybe hindi naman talaga 'yung rejection ang iniisip ko. Maybe I'm just waiting for Hudson to say those words because that's exactly what I needed to hear. Because I need assurance and he's the only one who can give it to me. He won't sugarcoat anything. He'll say things to my face like a real bitch and he'll still manage to make everything okay. To make me okay. To guarantee the uncertain soul in me.

I found myself finally smiling. "Thank you, babe."

He wrapped his arms around me. "Anything for my baby." He kissed my temple before pulling away. "Shall we go in now?"

Tumango ako. We walked inside their house, hand in hand. Natanaw ko agad sa sala sina Kuya Gibbs at Ate Zi. They were all lovey-dovey in the couch. Si Kuya Clay naman ay sa chaise lounge naka-pwesto, may nakapatong na laptop sa kandungan niya.

"Hey, guys!" Hudson greeted, announcing our presence. They're heads turned to us. Naunang tumayo si Ate Zi at nakangiting lumapit sa 'min.

"Hi, kids!" She kissed Hudson on the cheek. Niyakap niya ako pagkatapos rin niya akong halikan sa pisngi. "Hi, Fall!"

Yep. She calls me Fall.

"Hello, Ate..." Maraming beses na kaming nagkasama sa dinner pero nahihiya pa rin ako sa kanya. Paanong hindi? Eh ang ganda-ganda niya. She's a goddess.

Bumati rin si Kuya Gibbs at Kuya Clay na bigla rin nagbago ang mood. "Akala ko pa naman 'yung pizza delivery na." Nagmamaktol na sabi niya.

Kuya Gibbs shook his head. "Katatawag mo lang, fucker. Hindi naman magte-teleport dito 'yung delivery guy."

"Don't mind them." Ate Zi snorted. "Anyway, dala niyo ang portfolio?"

"Of course! That's why we're all here, right?" Hudson rolled his eyes.

"Cut the sarcasm, baby brother." Natatawang saway ni Ate Zi.

This is a normal scene when I'm with them. Hindi na bago na nag-aasaran ang mga ito. Hudson handed her the clear book where I compiled the photographs of my works.

I bit my lip as Ate Zi opened the cover of my portfolio. Just like a drill, Hudson quickly held me in his arms to calm me down. He knew I'm having a pandemonium inside. Hindi nakatakas sa tainga ko ang pagsinghap ni Ate Zi kasunod ng hindi makapaniwalang 'oh, my God' niya. Nanlamig ang katawan ko.