Almost Feels Like Always (COMPLETED)

HUDSON (THIRTY TWO)

"BULLSHIT!"

Autumn flinched when I threw the flower vase. It crashed on the floor and now it's broken.

"Why do you have to lie to me?!" I roared and my voice thundered in my whole unit. Nagtataas-baba ang dibdib ko sa galit. I was livid!

Autumn tightly closed her eyes. Maybe she was hoping for this to end once she opened her eyes again. "H... I didn't... I didn't lie to you."

"Yes, you did!" I shouted. "You did, Autumn! I asked you where you are! You said you're with Winona! Hindi mo alam na pinapanood ko kayong dalawa ni Reese habang sinasabi mo sa'kin 'yun! You lied to my face!"

Tears were rolling down her cheeks. Her shoulders were shaking and she was biting on her lower lip as she cried harder. "I was really with Winona... Nakita ko lang si Reese sa mall. He asked if he could talk to me and—"

"Tang ina! Ilang beses niyo bang kailangang mag-usap?! Lima?! Sampu?! Ilang beses?! Araw-araw?! Ilang beses ba, Autumn?! Putang ina!"

I don't wanna shout at her. I don't wanna make her cry but I was so blinded by jealousy and anger. Punong-puno na ako. Sawa na akong kimkimin ang sama ng loob ko. Pagod na akong intindihin ang lahat ng dahilan niya. Unang beses, pinagbigyan ko siya.

Pagkatapos ng engagement dinner namin ay pinayagan ko siyang makipag-usap kay Reese dahil naiintindihan kong kailangan nilang dalawa 'yun. Kailangan nila ng closure. Kailangan na nilang tuldukan kung anuman ang namagitan sa kanila dati dahil tapos na 'yun at ikakasal na siya sa'kin.

Pangalawang beses, ang sabi niya'y hindi sila nakapagusap ng maayos dahil walang ginawa si Reese kundi ang umiyak. I let her. Kahit selos na selos na ako, pumayag pa rin ako. I don't have a hold on her. At least none yet.

I thought it was the end. It was the last. Pero tang ina, umisa pa sila! Hindi pa sila nakuntento sa dalawang pagtatagpo! She apologized for the third time. And I forgave her. Wala, eh. I love her too much that I was willing to be a stupid, stupid man for her.

And now this?!

Putang ina.

I called to checked on her dahil ang sabi niya'y nagpasama siyang mag-mall kay Winona para bumili ng sapatos na gagamitin niya sa graduation namin. Hindi ko siya nasamahan dahil katatapos lang ng football finals. We celebrated and I was hungover. Nang makabawi ako sa hangover ay sumunod agad ako sa kanila ni Winona sa mall. I wanted to surprise her.

Ako na naman pala ang masu-sorpresa!

I was so excited to see her reaction then I saw her chilling in a café looking so thrilled while exchanging smiles and conversation with Reese!

So I called her. And she fucking lied to me! She told me she was still in a shoe boutique with Winona when in fact I was standing right outside the glass wall of that coffee shop while I was watching her with another man!

"What's your reason this time?" Mariing tanong ko sa kanya.

"Babe, please calm do—"

"Don't fucking tell me to calm down! You don't get to tell me to calm down when you just lied to me!" I had to balled my fists. Baka hindi ako makapagpigil at kabugin ko ang dining table. "Answer me, Autumn. Anong excuse mo? Ha? Ano magkikita ulit kayo bukas? Kulang pa ang apat na beses?"

"Hudson,—"

"Bakit hindi na lang kayo? Kung hindi pala kayo magkasya sa isa, dalawa, tatlo, o apat na araw, 'di sana kayo na lang ang magpakasal!"

"H, Hindi ganon..."

"Then what?!" I frustratedly raked my fingers through my hair. "Bigyan mo ako ng sagot! Are you in love with him again? Or are you still in love with him?!"