Save Me from the Dark (A John Gage 'Emergency!' love story Fanfiction)

Chapter 46 (Warning: Potentially Triggering)

All Scarlett could hear was the blood rushing in her ears as she bolted from the hospital room and although she didn't know where she was going, she just knew she needed to get out of the room. Maybe if she ran far enough none of this would be happening. A panic attack threatened to overcome her as she ran without conscious thought as to where she was heading, but it didn't even matter at this point, nothing really mattered anymore.

Pushing open some doors, Scarlett suddenly found herself in the same courtyard Johnny had taken her to right after they had first met. For some reason her mind had subconsciously led her there, not that she should've been surprised in the slightest. Finally, she allowed herself to completely break down as the panic attack, along with her grief, consumed her. Falling to her knees, she choked on her sobs and she barely registered that it was dark and raining. The chilling wetness seemed to soak into her very soul but it didn't matter, she was already dead inside. Just as dead as Johnny now was.

Scarlett had finally found pure, true love and now he was dead. Because of her. Damn it, if only she hadn't gotten close to him maybe he'd still be alive now, but no, she had to be selfish and do it anyway. Everyone always left her in the end, there were never any exceptions, and she hated herself for thinking that there ever could've been.

How could she have been so stupid? Scarlett was a person meant to be alone and fate had once again proven it by extinguishing the light of someone so pure and bright as Johnny. The thought made her stomach roll as she sat shivering and gasping for breath in the downpour that perfectly matched her mood.

How could fate be so cruel as to take Johnny? He of all people hadn't deserved to die, no, if anyone had it was her. Scarlett almost wished she'd actually died that day he'd saved her, because saving her was almost guaranteed to have been how he had gotten sick. If only she could have slipped away before he had gotten there, if only there hadn't been that warm feeling in the darkness guiding her back. If she would've known his life was the price for hers, she would've stayed good and dead. Unfortunately it was far too late now.

Scarlett wasn't sure how long she sat shivering in the pouring rain, but it didn't matter, it wasn't like Johnny would be coming to look for her. There was nobody left who really cared about her existence anymore. Sure, there was Dixie and Roy, but they were Johnny's friends, not her's. She had nobody now, and the thought stung her to her very core.

In all the time she'd spent in this time period, she'd somehow forgotten to make actual friends. It wasn't surprising really, considering she'd barely ever even talked to anyone besides Johnny. He had been her entire focus, the center of her world, and now he was gone and she was alone. More alone than she'd ever been.

Eyes focused on nothing, Scarlett replayed for the millionth time the exact moment her entire world imploded. From the haunted look in Roy's eyes she'd known immediately something was wrong, but nothing could've prepared her for the bombshell he was about to deliver.

"Johnny died about half an hour ago."

Which was immediately followed up by the usual useless things people say after someone dies - the doctors did everything they could, they're so sorry, etc. Really, it didn't matter at all what Roy or anybody else said, there was nothing anyone could say that could ever take her pain away. Not now. Not ever.

"Hey, are you okay?" A voice from behind Scarlett inquired, bringing her back to the present moment. The present moment which now included the very last person she ever wanted to see.

"I mean, I know you're probably not but...Just know I'm here for you, babe." The voice continued, and suddenly she felt his slimey, sleazy hand on her. He really did have some nerve.