Save Me from the Dark (A John Gage 'Emergency!' love story Fanfiction)

Chapter 40

Several days later, not much had changed. Johnny still remained deeply sedated and blissfully unaware of the world around him as Scarlett fought to keep herself together for his sake. She knew he wouldn't want her completely falling apart just because he was horribly ill, but really the uncertainty was eating her up inside.

Scarlett knew it was affecting Roy too, if his increasingly haggard appearance was any indication of his inner turmoil. She wished there was some way she could help ease his pain, but there wasn't, just as she couldn't do anything about her own. Well, there was one thing that could possibly ease it for her a little.

The desire to cut had been plaguing her since this whole mess had started, but she was reluctant to as she knew Johnny would definitely not approve if he found out. The last thing she wanted was to feel like she had failed him and maybe she didn't want to fail herself either, because for the first time in years she had stopped harming herself. It had been surprisingly easy to stop, honestly, because Scarlett knew it would be their relationship on the line if he ever found out and she wasn't ever going to risk that. Besides, there was really no reason to harm herself when she was so deliriously happy with him most of the time.

Now however the desire was back full force and Scarlett wondered how long she could continue to fight it. Surely it'd be easier to just give in, and besides, Johnny was too ill to notice even if he did wake up. Nobody else would ever notice either, especially if she wasn't extremely obvious about where she did it. Even though the temptation was strong and her mind practically screamed at her to give in, she knew she needed to remain strong and fight against it. At least for the time being anyway.

Pushing those thoughts away, Scarlett concentrated on making her way to Johnny's room unassisted. Although she was still weak and slightly unsteady on her feet, she was mostly capable of walking, and she hated having to rely on everyone to help her. No, Scarlett was going to push herself no matter what Brackett or Dixie said. She had to be a hundred percent there for Johnny, he was what was most important right now, even if he would disagree if he was awake.

Nearing the entrance to the ICU, Scarlett spotted Brackett, Roy, and another gray haired doctor she had never seen before, gathered in a small circle clearly having what looked to be an important conversation. Immediately dread filled her as she noticed the tense body language of everyone, especially Roy, and she knew whatever this meeting was about couldn't be good. Quickly she debated trying to hide and eavesdrop, but damn, Roy had already spotted her. He was surprisingly observant, at least more than she was used to with Johnny who was pretty much the most oblivious guy she'd ever met. It only made him more endearing to her though.

"Hey Scarlett." Roy greeted with a small, clearly forced smile as she approached the group. "Didn't think you'd be walking around by yourself so soon."

"Neither did I." Brackett cut in, and if glares could kill, she would've immediately dropped dead from the look on his face. Yup, she still didn't like him. At all.

Thankfully the older doctor chose that moment to interrupt before Brackett could annihilate her.

"Ah, so you must be Scarlett, Johnny's girlfriend and Kel here's star patient. " The doctor gave her a warm smile and Scarlett found herself liking him almost instantly. He seemed warm and friendly, much unlike the prickly and easily angered Brackett. "I've heard so much about you, I feel like I know you already!"

Brackett rolled his eyes at the doctor's statement. "She's even more incorrigible than Johnny is! If he could've found a better match I'd like to see it!"

The older doctor chuckled at his colleague's words and addressed Scarlett again. "Glad Johnny finally found a nice woman to settle down with, he needed someone nice to ground him. I'm Doctor Early, by the way. Doctor Brackett has asked me consult on Johnny's case. Our boy has certainly gotten himself into a predicament this time, hasn't he?"

"Joe..." Brackett said warningly and finally Scarlett knew with certainty that they were intentionally trying to keep things from her. It was quite honestly infuriating.

"What's going on?" She boldly asked, barely containing her anger. "Obviously it must be bad if you've been trying to keep me out of the loop!"

At least everyone had the decency to look guilty, well everyone except Brackett.

"Scarlett," He said, his voice taking on that no nonsense tone that she'd heard so many times. But somehow now it seemed different. "I know it's not what you want to hear, but Johnny's condition is critical and Roy holds his medical power of attorney. Which means, as long as Johnny is unable to make his own decisions regarding his care, Roy is making these decisions on his behalf."

"Also, in your condition," Brackett continued. "it was unanimously decided it was better to spare some of the details involving his current condition."

"My condition?" Scarlett spat out. "It's because I'm pregnant, right? Are we really going there? I'm just too weak and fragile to handle the truth because I'm pregnant?"

"You nearly died!" Brackett threw back. "What part of this are you so incapable of understanding? This isn't just about you anymore! This isn't a game! This isn't something you can just be careless with and go 'oh well' when you lose! You have another person depending on your survival now, whether you like it or not!"

For a second everyone stood in shock at Brackett's outburst. Even Doctor Early looked a bit taken aback, although he recovered faster than even Scarlett.

"Kel.. "

"No, Joe. Someone needs to get it through her head!" He turned back to Scarlett. "Johnny may put up with it, but if you can't grow up and stop being so careless and selfish with your life, maybe you're not fit to be a mother!"

"Screw you!" Scarlett shouted after him as he turned and stalked away. She didn't know if he could even hear her but it really didn't matter. "At least I'm not a bitter asshole and someone actually loves me!"