poetry by a girl who's afraid of herself //

Not another love story.

I feel as if I'm numb, as if I feel the world changing around me but me? Not so much. I see the leaves changing
and them falling off of the trees so beautifully and wishing I could do the same; change that is. My problem is that I act as cold as winter but I'm warm as spring. I pretend to act as if I'm so tough and well grounded when I am not. I let people walk all over me, I'm not sure why.

I want to have that mindset where I can just exit out of someones life if need be, if they're too toxic for me to keep associating with; but I don't.

I let you walk all over me because I'm simply just so in love with you I can't even tell how toxic you are for me. My close friends say I'm better off and that I'll find someone who treats me with the same compassion; but I don't believe them. Maybe because I'm stubborn but they don't know you like I do, yeah you fucked up a few times more than most but I mean.. No one is perfect. People make mistakes. I'm just so tired of people telling me whats good for me and whats not. Maybe you aren't the "one" or my soulmate, but that's for me to find out, not them. If it doesn't work out the way I want it to then.. I learn my lesson and deal with the heart ache and move on. But stop telling me how I should feel about someone you don't know like I do. She's gonna be the love of my life whether it works out or doesn't. People need to learn and grow by themselves. And maybe just maybe babe, we'll prove them wrong and be happy and shove it in their faces for the ones who doubted. Love isn't easy nor is it simple, of course we're going to fight and say things we don't mean; but at the end of the day you have me and vice versa. And where will the ones be that were so quick to judge?

They'll be somewhere off in the abyss

While we sit at our home, joyfully bliss.