poetry by a girl who's afraid of herself //

Bleeding Out

i'm so tired of being empty.
i'm so tired of not knowing how to fill the void so deep in my heart.
i used self harm to fill it for three years i just didn't know at the time how much more pain i caused myself thinking i was helping it. didn't really know how much i  made it deeper; the hole in my heart. i think sometimes God can fill it but i've always struggled with believing. i don't think He can fill it. i just wanna know what can. i feel lost. i am not myself. i need to fill this void before it becomes so deep that not all the stitches i keep sewing will keep it together.