Silent

Chapter 3

Recap:
"Are you even going to say something to me?" Luke asked, raising an eyebrow at me. I wordlessly shook my head. It wasn't worth it. "Is this about last night?! Quit being such a baby, Jai!" Luke scoffed and walked out of my room.

I knew he was obviously mad at me, but I really couldn't bring myself to care at this point. So, I got dressed and miserably made my way downstairs.

"About time! Wow!" Luke complained. I put my head down. I didn't want to fight. I don't even want to talk.

"Aww is little Jye upset?" Beau teased, making me shoot him a glare. I ignored him, but that's what I usually do with Beau. He's not worth it in the end, and I could already tell today was going to be a bad day.

~

I kept my head down as I grabbed a quick bowl of cereal. I sat at the table and stared down at it. I wasn't really hungry, but I knew I needed to eat something. We were supposed to be filming today, so I needed to make sure I had enough energy for the video.

"It's not like it's going to bite you, Jai." Luke spoke, sitting down next to me. I glanced up at him, before returning my gaze down to my bowl of cereal. I moved the spoon around, but didn't bring it up to my mouth. I just didn't want to eat today. Luke gave me a questioning look, but I didn't respond.

"Jai?" Luke tried again. I glanced up at him. I couldn't do this any longer. I was about to give in and talk to my twin brother, but Beau quickly changed my mind.

"He's just sulking, Luke. We'll just leave and film without him while he stays here and gets over himself!" Beau huffed. He didn't really care. No one cares about me. Especially Beau. I felt a tear slip down my face. Luckily, nobody saw it.

I let my spoon drop out of my hand and clatter into my bowl. I didn't understand what was going on, or why Beau didn't want me to film. I hurriedly ran back up to my room and crawled into my closet. I was starting to panic slightly. My breathes were starting to get shaky and I couldn't stop thinking about how unwanted I really am.

I'm merely a waste of space, trapped living a life where I'm only a burden to the people around me. It was obvious that I only got in the way. That was clear to me based on what happened last night as well as this morning.

I pulled out my phone and logged into my twitter in an attempt to distract myself from my poisoning thoughts. I didn't think it was possible for Beau to hurt me more than he already has, but I was clearly proven wrong. Beau had made several tweets complaining about me to the fans. He said stuff about how apparently it was my fault that they couldn't film the video we had planned for DareSundays. Beau even mentioned that I was dragging the Janoskians down, and if anyone was a true fan they would confront me about it.

And of course they had.

Many fans had flooded my DMs with hate. They told me that I should just leave the Janoskians and never come back. One told me to get myself run over, and several others were very similar to that. They basically all told me how much they truly hated me and wanted me dead.

I didn't blame them.

I decided to compose a new tweet: 'You've all been sending me messages lately telling me his worthless I am. I'm not mad. Just saying thanks for putting me in perspective.'

After that posted I made another: 'Funny how 90% of fans tell me to die, but I still can't find a reason to get angry with them. Guess I really am that worthless.'

I logged off my twitter and stuck my phone back in my pocket. I probably shouldn't have done that, but it was too late now. If I deleted it, it would just turn into something bigger than it already was.

I'm so stupid.

I brought my fist up and starting smashing it hard against my forehead. It hurt really bad, but I deserved it. I was so caught up in doing this, that I didn't even notice someone walk into my room until my hand was roughly jerked down and I was dragged out of my closet.

After the surprise wore off, I looked at the person that interrupted me. It was a face extremely similar to the one I see in the mirror. It was none other than my twin brother. His face was red and his eyes held a fire to them. Luke was obviously very angry, but I didn't understand why. I was just giving myself the punishment I deserved. Should I have asked him to do it for me?

"What do you think you're doing?" Luke questioned me angrily. I merely shrugged my shoulders. I didn't even think about it, to be honest. "Answer me, Jai!"

I remained quiet. If I didn't want to talk, them I wasn't going to talk. It was that simple. Luke couldn't actually make me talk. He was just angry and thought he could.

"Fine ignore me then!" Luke seethed, "I don't really care, just let me look at your forehead." Without warning Luke grasped my face in his hands and tilted my head a little to get a good look at my forehead. Judging by the look on his face, it wasn't good.

"This is definitely going to bruise..." Luke murmured before pushing my face away. My eyes widened. I didn't realize it was that bad. I reached up to touch the spot I made, and winced when I felt a shock of pain. Luke's eyes went wide and he jerked my wrist down again. "Stop it Jai! You were hurting yourself. I'm not sure what your problem is, but..." Luke broke off as his voice cracked a little. He suddenly turned to my wall and punched it hard.

I reached out to him, and I grabbed his wrist in my own hand. His knuckles had turned bright red and I could feel them throbbing under my touch.

Luke shook my hand off and pushed me over to my bed.

"Just get some sleep Jai. I think you really need some right now." Luke commanded.

If only it was really that easy.