Silent

Chapter 9

"What's your problem?" Olivia chuckled as I joined her at Starbucks. This girl definitely had an attitude on her. I sighed and leaned my head on my hand as I twirled the straw in my drink.

"Nothing." I sighed again. "So, what is it you want?"

"Well for starters, I want you to tell me what's wrong." She said sarcastically.

"Why do you even care? You don't even know me." I mumbled. She raised an eyebrow at me as a small smile formed on her face.

"In case you're forgetting, I am a huge fan of Luke. You happen to be his twin brother, so you figure it out." She reached out and poked me on the nose. I felt a blush start to form on my face at the action. "Ew, why are you blushing, idiot?"

"I get embarrassed easily. It comes with being shy." I explained. Olivia looked at me in disbelief.

"You embarrass yourself everyday. How are you shy?"

"I don't know, I just do what my brothers want me to." I chuckled. She nodded her head in understanding.

"So, going to tell me or not?" She asked again. I bit my lip in thought.

"Last night, was not a good night for me." I decided to say.

"Why? Someone didn't recognize you?" She quipped.

"No. I haven't really been talking to anyone at all lately, so it's put some strain on my family." Olivia sat up straighter at my words. She probably got mad that I've been ignoring Luke.

"Jai, I don't know what caused you to not want to talk, but don't take that for granted. You have a voice, so you need to use it." She smiled at me sadly.

"I just...my brothers. They wouldn't understand. They'd probably hate me if they found out what I'm hiding."

"What are you hiding?" Olivia leaned in closer to me. Her bright blue eyes seemed to stare right through me.

"Nothing you need to worry about."

"That's mean, Jai." She whined, sticking her tongue out at me. "What do they think about you being in therapy, then, if they're that judgmental?"

"Umm..." I searched for something to say, but drew a blank. My silence seemed to speak  louder than any words I could have possibly said. Her eyes widened as she realized what I couldn't say.

"They don't know, do they?" She whispered, her face turning white.

"No, and I plan on keeping it that way." I stated sharply. She ducked her head down to stare at her drink as an awkward silence overcame us.

"I want to meet Luke." She said suddenly.

"What?" I was confused.

"That's what I want. I won't say a word if you introduce me. Maybe even set us up to sweeten the deal." She batted her eyelashes at me. I nodded my head.

"Luke would kill me if I tried to set him up, but I can introduce you to him. I think." I agreed.

"Can you really?" She gushed in excitement.

"Yup." I confirmed. "I'll set it up and then text you."

"I'm going to meet Luke Brooks..." Olivia whispered to herself. I had to chuckle at her excitement.

"Don't get too excited." I chuckled. "I'm not really on good terms with Luke right now, so it might be awhile."

"I can wait, as long as you aren't lying." She admitted.
-
I made plans with Olivia to meet up in a couple of days for a movie. Apparently, she wanted to keep tabs on me and make sure I kept my promise. I had a soft smile on my face as I walked into my house that afternoon.

"You're in a strangely good mood." Beau commented, scaring me. I didn't even see him when I walked in. I just shrugged at him in response before going to find Luke. He was actually in his room editing videos. That was odd, we hadn't filmed anything lately.

"Did you film without me or something?" I asked from behind him. He glance at me for a second before nodding his head.

"Yeah. You haven't exactly been approachable lately. We had no choice, but to film without you." He shrugged like it was no big deal. I felt a knife stab itself into my heart and twist around.

"Oh." I mumbled. "Sorry, I haven't been available."

"Sorry we're not good enough for you anymore." Luke mumbled back.

"It's not like that, Luke. It really isn't."

"Sure, and I'm 8 feet tall." He quipped. I stared at him. I didn't know how to explain that I wasn't mentally able to function at the moment without actually telling him the truth.

"I'm sorry, Luke. I've just had a lot on my mind lately." I finally decided to say. It still wasn't good enough for him.

"Really, because to me it seems like the only thing you've been able to do is ignore us. You know your family. The people that care about you, and that would do literally anything for you. Guess you're just way too selfish to care about us like we care about you." Luke snapped. Him snapping at me only caused me to explode.

"Well, sorry I didn't want to tell you that I'm back on antidepressants!" I screamed. "I'm just so selfish that I wanted to save you from that burden!"

The room was silent for a few moments until it dawned on both of us exactly what I had said. I quickly slapped a hand over my mouth in terror. Luke wasn't supposed to find out about that. It was one of the few things I refused to tell him. Every time he even remotely hears about me being depressed, he pushes me away in disgust.

"What did you just say?" Luke locked eyes with me.

"Nothing! It's not important." There was no way I was going to repeat that to him.

"I think it is." He argued, "You just said you were taking antidepressants again."

"It's not a big deal, Luke. I was just having a bit of trouble again. It's nothing."

"How long?" Like asked, almost in audibly.

"I don't see how-"

"I said HOW LONG?" Luke yelled, interrupting me.

"Maybe a month. A little over a month." I answered quietly.

"Okay so you just recently became depressed again?" Luke sighed in relief.

"Not exactly." I bit my lip. "That's just how long I've been taking antidepressants again."

Luke's face turned  red as his anger slowly got the best of him. He left me standing there as he stormed out of his room. I distantly heard the front door slam as well. Luke hated me, now.

I need to cut.