Silent

Chapter 16

"Jai, you're scaring me." Luke whispered. I looked up at him and rolled my eyes. I was scaring him. Of course I was.

"Grow up Luke. I'm laying in a hospital bed wanting to die, yet you can only tell me how worthless I am. Why don't you just take your little girlfriend and leave?!" I shouted.

"Dude, she's not my girlfriend. Even if you didn't like her I would never go there." Luke replied, seemingly forgetting that she was even there.

"What?!" Olivia screamed, obviously offended. "You're the only one good enough for me, Luke. Jai doesn't matter. I'm too good for him anyway. He can rot here for all I care!"

"What did you just say?" Luke yelled angrily at her while I felt even more worthless than I already did. She had shredded the last bit of self-confidence I had left.

"Luke I-he's just in the way. We're perfect for each other, and he's trying to ruin it. Guess I'll just have to make a little post on Twitter after all!" Olivia was obviously so infatuated by Luke that it had turned into a slight obsession. I looked up at her when I saw a flash come from the camera on her phone.

"What did you just do?" Luke's eyes widened.

"Just a little insurance." She smirked.

"Wha-" Luke started to tell at her again, but I quickly interrupted him.

"I don't care anymore, Olivia. Tell people. I'm honestly done caring at this point."

"You're going to regret this." She promised before running out of the room in tears.

"I'm sorry it had to be like this, Jai." Luke sighed as he stared out the open doorway.

"She was pretty, but I really didn't Like her that much. She was kind of crazy..." I trailed off. Luke and I lapsed into an awkward silence. Things shouldn't be awkward like this between us. We used to be able to sit in silence and not feel awkward at all.

We weren't the same twins anymore, though. Luke and I had already gone out separate ways. We weren't close at all anymore. I couldn't even talk to him anymore. It was almost like he was a nicer, less obnoxious version of Beau.

Speaking of Beau....

"Where's Beau?" I asked, slightly disappointed that my oldest brother wasn't here when I woke up. I knew he didn't like me that much, but I always thought that he would be there when I needed him most.

"He had to talk with your doctors, and he also said he needed to call Mum, too." Luke explained.

"Oh." I breathed. I wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or a bad thing.

"What's going on in that head of yours, Jai-Jai?" Luke asked softly, pulling a chair closer to my bed.

"I don't want to be alive, Luke. I hate living in a world where I'm not wanted. I'm sick of always being compared to you, and then told that I'm not good enough to be your twin brother. I hate myself enough already. I don't need anything added to that..."

"You're perfect the way you are, Jai. Don't let what the haters say get to you."

"It's not just the haters." I corrected him. "I see the way everyone looks at me. 'Oh Jai messed up again, didn't he?' and 'why don't we just kick Jai out, it's not like he's anything special anyway.' And 'why is Jai just a screw-up...he never does anything right.' I see and hear it all Luke. You may think that your words don't get to me, but they do. I've got the scars to prove it."

"Jai, I swear we don't think that way. We all love you." Luke tries to comfort me, but it doesn't work.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean you actually need me."
-
"My baby brother..." Beau gushed, stroking through my hair. "My poor baby brother."

"I get it already, Beau. Stop touching me already." I groaned. Luke was trying hard to not laugh at my situation, despite the circumstances. We both absolutely hated it when Beau got like this.

"Sorry, no can do, besides you're going to be in here for awhile." Beau informed me. Luke stopped laughing and we both looked at Beau, confused.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Luke and I asked at the same time. Beau looked at us, slightly creeped out by our twin moment.

"You're on suicide watch right now, Jai. A nurse overheard you telling Luke you wanted to die."

"What?" I couldn't believe my ears. They really thought that keeping me in a hospital for a few days could stop me from trying again. I wasn't happy, and I refused to live in misery. "Can you at least give me my phone to pass the time?"

"Sure thing, kiddo." Beau smiled down at me, before leaving the room. Luke looked over at me and mouthed 'kiddo?' At me in disgust. I simply shrugged. Beau could be weird sometimes.

"It's for the best, Jai." Luke spoke up after a moment. "We don't want to lose you. We may have not been the most understanding when it came to you and your mental health problems, but we still love you. I guess what I'm trying to say is, give us another chance to show you that life is worth it."

"I pulled some strings, and got you your phone!" Beau announced loudly, effectively stopping me from replying to Luke.

"Finally, something to do." I changed the subject. Logging onto my twitter, my heart stopped.

@OliviaKing: pic of @JaiBrooks1 after he tried to kill himself earlier today. Hope your proud of yourself. I certainly am.

"Jai, are you okay? What's wrong?" Luke asked worriedly, noticing my change in attitude. I wordlessly showed him my phone. His eyes widened, but I couldn't focus on his reaction. Clicking on Olivia's profile I could only focus on one thing.

Olivia was Dr. King's daughter. Her mother was the person I trusted so much, but really I had been set up by both of them. Dr. King didn't care about me, she just wanted her daughter to meet Luke. I was just a pathetic little pawn that got cast to the side in the process.

I wanted to die even more than I already did in that moment.