Park Jimin; Sinner

Park Jimin; Concerned

Trigger warning
-mentions of abuse

We were out pretty late as Jungkook seemed to adapt to my personality more and more as the day shifted into night and the air was dampened with a soft chill. A couple of hours spent with the Church Boy led me to think that Jeon Jungkook wasn't such a bad guy after all, sure he was still homophobic as hell, but I was starting to believe that I could change that.

After finding his gross porn, he had awkwardly led me deeper into the old flour mill, leading me into a sort of dusty room where all the flour making tools still lay in the abandoned room, scattered and cobwebbed. This is where we currently were, Jungkook sitting on a thick wooden table, and me, sitting across the room on what looked like an old grinding wheel. The sun had already sunk far past our line of vision. I felt so happy when the darkness engulfed my senses. The dark always pulled with it a sense of security and coziness, I think Jungkook felt the same way as I saw his relaxed posture, leaning comfortably on the old stone wall by the door we came in through.

A few minutes ago he had asked me about my past, where I came from, what I did, and who my friends were, and what brought me here.

"I had a few friends, like Lisa, and Joy, but then I had those people who were more than friends you know? The people I could really rely on. Their names were Taemin and Taeyang. Taemin and I had something going on for a while in grade ten, but Taeyang had been my best friend since like forever." I felt tears stinging the backs of my eyes as I thought about Taeyang again. "And in late grade ten, I realized I wanted a bit more than friendship with him, he knew I was gay, but I was pretty sure he wasn't. Though that didn't stop me from confessing to him... I was so fucking stupid. He had to look me in the eyes and tell me he wasn't into guys, and we barely spoke after that. My best friend lost because I couldn't control my fucking hormones. But anyways, he was pretty talented so he went into training to become an idol last year, I think he is training to be part of a group called Big Bang or something, haven't seen him since." I looked over at Jungkook, expecting him to be recoiling in disgust at the talk about my relationships, but he only looked slightly disgusted. What an improvement. I took a breath and continued. "So about a week and a half ago I came out to my parents, I thought it was time and that they would be accepting, but I was mistaken. They told me it was 'just a phase' and that some time in a remote location with my homophobic aunt would help me see straight again. So here I am in the homophobic town of Pass in a flour mill at" I looked down at my phone "12:31 with the pastors son, telling him my life story" I looked up with a smile to see Jungkook still watching me with interest in his barely visible face. 

"Wow" he exclaimed in a quick release of breath. "I suppose you want to hear my story now don't you?" Jungkook said quieter, looking at the worn wooden floor.

"I wouldn't mind that" I said gently, but was really dying with curiosity, considering this is what he brought me here for in the first place. I saw h take a breath before the words left his soft looking pink lips.

"So you know my dad is the pastor of the church right?" I nodded even though by now it would probably be too dark to see. "So everyone looks up to him, thinking that he is what god wants, what will get them into heaven, so they follow him like sheep to a shepherd, but they only really see his front, the mask he puts on. It's the same with me really, people automatically assume that I am my father. I actually want to be anything but him." I had to interrupt, this was all new information to me.

"I'm sorry Jungkook" I said genuinely "I assumed the exact same thing" I paused thinking back to when I first interacted with him at the confession booth. "But you act so much like him" I heard Jungkook sigh from the darkness.

"Yeah, I know. I'm getting to that part." He said sadly before continuing " so when I was little I questioned everything, how god was possible, how Adam and Eve were the first humans, an if so where the evolution and even dinosaur piece fits in." This was where he started rambling about how our big lizardy friends came to be. They were before humans, yet the bible said that within 7 days the entire world was made the last being a day for rest and where those few days left space for a couple thousand years of dinosaurs. I had to admit, it was a good point. "But anyways, my questions never made my dad to happy, so whenever I questioned the word of god he would-" he stopped, his voice starting to get wobbly. I could tell he was on the brink of tears again.

"H-hey don't worry if it's too much you don't have to tell me" I said with a smile on my face even though I knew he couldn't see it. I heard him cough a little before speaking, his voice sounding solid and resolute.

"No, it has gone on long enough, I need to tell someone." He took a long and deep breath before continuing. "Whenever I questioned the bible he would take me into the laundry room and take off his belt. Then- then he would hit me with it, and would keep on hitting until I admitted my questions were in bad taste, which was usually after the first hit when I was little, but as I got older I got more stubborn, and there were points when I didn't have to say I was in the wrong because I had either passed out from the pain, or I had bled a bit too much. As you may have guessed that is why I was late to school today" I gasped, finding myself walking toward his dark and seemingly stoic silhouette.

"A-are you okay? Was it too bad? Do you need like bandages or something?" I said sitting in front of him on the table, concern painted across my face. "Are you in pain?" I said softly, not sure if I wanted to hear the answer. But sure enough, a pained and croaky voice responded.

"Yes"

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OMG people read this piece of trash! I just want to personally thank the,what is it 4? People who read this and voted and commented it means so much to me :)) I love you guys!

Song recommendation
Window by G Dragon (this song is so under appreciated)

Till next time