Park Jimin; Sinner

Park Jimin; Second Hand Sad

Trigger warning
-mention of suicidal thoughts
-mention of depression

Anonymous POV
I am so happy here.

Jimin POV

Jungkook and I had managed to find some plush white chairs beside each other in the corner of the room away from the drunken chaos on the dance floor. I looked at Jungkook who had been chatting my ear off about his newest video game had gone silent.

His face was streaked with tears (I don't regret using waterproof makeup) yet his face was set in a very happy expression.

"Kookie? You okay?" He sniffled, twisting in his chair to face me.

"I'm okay I think. I'm really happy you know? It's so cool to be able to be here with you and the other guys. I thought they hated me. I mean if I were them I would have hated me too. In fact I do hate myself. Did you know that Jimin? Did you know there is not a day that passes where I don't wish to end it? It doesn't matter though. It never has and it never will. The only person who would care is my dad. You wanna know why?"

"Kooki-" I attempted to reel him back in, but he was deep into his drunken rant.

"Because than he wouldn't have his perfect little missionary preaching his fucked up word to all the kids. Because without me he is fucked." He paused before mumbling something that changed the game. "If he really knew who I was though he would cleanse me with holy water before planting a stake through my heart himself." I felt a tear roll down my face.

"Jimin why are you crying?" Jungkook asked innocently as if nothing was wrong. As if he didn't just spill everything on his mind to me.

"How could I not Jungkook! You are an amazing, adorable and talented kid who claims that he doesn't want to live? That everyone hates him? How could I not fucking cry when I know my best friend has considered suicide and I wasn't there to help him?" I cried, tears coming out of my eyes at such a rate I was starting to worry about my makeup.

"Hey Jimin don't worry I'm really okay" he said with a bright smile, completely contradicting the solemn face me wore just moments ago. "I will go get us some more drinks" he said with a wink before wandering off to the bar across the dance floor.

()()()

A few drinks later had me bordering on tipsy and happy again. Meanwhile Jungkook was grinding up on some girl a couple feet away from me. But I still wore a smile on my face. At least he seemed to be enjoying himself, even if I had an unidentified pang in my chest with every sensual smirk he sent in the swooning girls direction.

I ended up sitting on a barstool with Yoongi. I never really noticed him in class, he was always quiet, and when he did speak it was soft and wise. He seemed to have an old soul.

"Yoongi were you an old man in your past life?" A half grin graced his face before breaking out into a gummy smile and finally reached laughter. He took another swig of his alcoholic beverage, still unidentified.

"What makes you say that? I honestly think I was a turtle in my past life!" He yells over the throbbing beat of club music. I laughed.

"I mean you kind of look like a turtle" he frowned, I think he was joking but just in case I spit out an odd sort of apology.

"A really hot turtle of course, like fucking Raphael or- or Donnaltello or something like that" I said with a giggle, not really sure what my drunken mind was spewing anymore, but it was fine because I felt happiness and content flowing through my alcoholic blood. Yoongi burst out in laughter beside me.

"Wow. Nice save. I may just let you survive after saying I look like a reptile" Yoongi commented, downing the rest of his drink and flagging the bar tender down to order another. It was then that I found out he was downing whiskey. Straight.

I took this time to look back on the floor. Jungkook now had a crowds around him as he started giving lap dances to anyone who asked. I know Tae and Hobi disappeared into to bathrooms a while ago, and Namjoon and Jin were over by the side of the room, arms wrapped loosely around each others waists, swaying lightly to the blaring pop music. They appeared to be in an entire world of their own.

I wish that were me and Kookie.

<><><>

Namjoon and Jin just went to the hotel as the night was wearing thin. But Jungkook was not giving lapdances anymore. No. Now he was stumbling in my direction with a wobbly smile on his face.

"Jimin" he slurred, slumping onto the stool beside me, leaning his head down to rest on the bar. "Why are your eyes so big?" He asked, reaching his hand up to touch said eyes, but ended up touching my ear instead. I lightly grabbed his hand and placed in back in his lap.

"Kook, you're drunk" I said calmly hoping that was answer enough to his bizarre question. He groaned against the white surface of the modern style bar.

"Thanks Chim, I had no clue"

"Ah, so drunk Kookie is sarcastic Kookie?" I asked, eyebrow raised.

"Drunk Kookie is fun Kookie" Jungkook retaliated with a grin before standing up at a speed I didn't thing was possible and grabbed my hand, dragging me towards to exit. Smile plated firmly on his face, and his hand clapped tightly on mine.

The night air was refreshing after the tight, sweaty heat of the night club behind. Jungkook had quickly flagged down a Taxi, Yoongi having left with Jin and Joon, and we were climbing into the backseat that smelled lightly of tobacco, but nobody was complaining as we pulled up to the front of our destination.

:::

The second the door closed behind us Kookie whirled on me. Drunken smile more obvious than ever.

"Hyung will you kiss me?"

:::

Song Rec
Bling Bling by iKON